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Fleeing Californians Ponder Which State to Ruin Next
ClashDaily.com ^ | February 5, 2013 | Nick Taxia

Posted on 02/06/2013 4:55:13 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Tuesday, January 29th, 2013,

(Santa Monica, CA) — It has been 34 years of marriage, three children, two grandchildren, two homes and three jobs, and Mary and Joseph Peterson have had enough. The two Sacramento natives and college sweethearts have lived in California their entire lives. Now their lifelong stay in the Sunshine state is sadly coming to an end.

Mary Peterson, 56, and husband Joseph, 57, lament being only an estimated 250,000 people who are now leaving California annually, in comparison to the hordes more that are storming in (mainly illegally). They also lament not having fully experienced the hippie heyday of the state, being only in their pre-teen years at the time California began officially transforming from a self-sustaining state into the basket case of welfare–driven, tax and regulation-plagued, socialist, Iraq-sized, insane dung pile it is today.

With Joseph being the CEO of a 180-employee shipping company, and Mary, co-founder and vice president of Ancient Attributes, Inc., a 34-employee company that produces catheters for the elderly, the couple has decided it is time to close their businesses and move out of the state they once proudly called home. Two-hundred and four people will be left without jobs in their wake. But in leaving California the duo are now faced with a new dilemma: which state to ruin next?

“It’s like, so trippy,” said Mary Peterson, while packing her favorite 18-inch statue of Buddha she bought in Mexico in 2006 while their U-Haul truck hums in the driveway. “We’ve voted as progressively as possible in every election since our twenties, and yet things are worse than ever. It’s, like, so bizarre.”

The Petersons are not alone.

Dale and Rania Hussein-Scatman, who immigrated to Los Angeles from Iran in 1990, have voted strictly Democrat ever since. Now, like the Petersons, they are looking to move. “With all of the regulations, all of the bans on virtually everything, and the oppressive tax rates, we’re left with no choice,” said Mr. Hussein, while searching on-line for housing prospects in Texas.

Like the Petersons, the Hussein-Scatmans are not just eyeing Texas, but also Alabama, Louisiana, Arizona, Florida, Mississippi, and North Dakota — i.e. any state that has not yet been destroyed by the likes of none other than themselves, as Californians seek to flee the state they helped to ruin, only to relocate to a freer state and/or city they will ruin all over again, given time.

“I hear the tax rates and house prices are low (in North Dakota),” said Dale, Tuesday. “And they also still allow smoking in bars. Now that’s something we certainly have to move there to stop, all while pretending to be simple ’podunk’ residents who want to mind own business … Yes, we have to move there and introduce our values to that state. I think North Dakota may be the perfect fit for us.”

The Hussein-Scatmans, Petersons, and thousands of other residents fleeing California may not agree on everything, such as what amount of fine one should face if they do not recycle their glass, plastic, and paper goods ($200 vs. $300 per infraction), or what state income tax rate is suitable for a “family” of two or more making $60,000 or above (59% vs. 65%).

However they do agree on one thing: the California they helped ruin must be brought to other states, the “redder” the better, and that they must seek refuge from the dystopia they helped create and thus will no doubt leave their decedents clamoring to escape from again.

“We’re thinking Florida,” said Joseph Peterson. “We hear they don’t charge 10-cents per plastic shopping bag there to prevent dolphins from choking to death. How insensitive! We should move there and help completely turn their lives into nightmares, too, like in California.”

Added Peterson, “We have no choice – we must move to other locations and make them ‘blue’ too, so years from now people will have to flee from them as well. That’s what people like us do.”

But bringing about the ruination of one’s own existence from state to state can be quite a quandary, according to Dr. Nicholas Kimos, professor of Political Science and Psychology at Stanford University.

Although not implying that liberalism, and thereby liberal people, are/do suffer from a mental disorder, Dr. Kimos said that “blue state people” who can no longer tolerate living under the laws, and bans, fines, provisions, and ordinances they have imposed upon themselves, commonly feel nothing left to do but spread to the rest of America the very attitudes from which they are essentially fleeing to begin with.

Said Dr. Kimos to Duh Progressive Tuesday, “It’s not exactly like ‘locusts,’ but they’re pretty darn close. People like the Petersons move to a state, breed, and in time vote for people who raise their taxes and enact a litany of regulations and ridiculous bans. And after they come to suffer from the very politicians who enact these choking laws, they decide it’s too much for them, and so move elsewhere.”

Continued Dr. Kimos, “But they carry their values with them, and so, again, vote for the same horrid environments they created. It’s something we in the psychology field call ‘repetitive masochism.’ …They hate themselves for whatever reason and wish to project their self-hatred on others, so other humble unsuspecting people can be just as miserable as they.”

Added Dr. Kimos to Duh Progressive, as he produced a 12-ounce hammer from his office desk, “Oh, and by the way, could you please beat me over the head with this mercilessly? After all, I am from California.”

The preceding piece is satire.


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; US: California
KEYWORDS: bluestates; california; communists; liberals; progressives; redstates; satire; socialists
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

hehe.


41 posted on 02/06/2013 7:25:12 PM PST by Ciexyz
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Scary stuff.
I just hope these scumbags stay away from Pennsylvania.


42 posted on 02/06/2013 7:26:17 PM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Somewhere there are real Petersons scratching their heads and this was written for them

From http://www.democratsagainstunagenda21.com/the-way-we-see-itour-blog.html

If you’re like us you were a young progressive Democrat in November 1992 and thought Clinton was doing fine (well, a bit later we thought Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was rotten, and the war in Kosovo looked like a battle to control the heroin trade into Europe, and we thought it was nuts to give loans to people who couldn’t afford them). Yes, you thought Clinton was doing fine now that Bush was out of office. You were excited to be part of a movement to encourage recycling and creative reuse. You felt good about yourself and thought Republicans were a bunch of flag-waving rednecks who ate raw meat and slept with their spurs on. You didn’t know any Republicans personally, and you didn’t want to. Your magazines—Earth Island Journal, Mother Jones, The Nation—were full of the degradation of the planet and the destruction of biodiversity. You were disgusted with developers, oil men, and big corporations and you blamed all of this on Republicans. After the Clinton impeachment trials you were even more convinced of the viciousness of the Republicans. You joined MoveOn.org and hosted political parties in your home. Later, 8 years of Bush Jr cemented your outlook even further. Hanging chads, yellow cake uranium, Jessica Lynch, Shock and Awe, Valerie Plame, Karl Rove, mailing anthrax to the Democrats, all of this and more drove a huge wedge in between the parties. As a Democrat you wouldn’t even consider hanging a flag up on July 4th—people might think you were a Republican.

Meanwhile, all of this time, the Sustainable Development machine moved forward. Both parties (feeding on corporate dollars) supported it, furthered it with legislation, strengthened the Environmental Protection Agency, and brought UN Agenda 21 principles into every federal agency—without your knowledge. When you did hear about it from the corporate owned mainstream press it was in glowing terms about saving the planet.

You watched and suffered as your school systems were subjected to Goals 2000 and No Child Left Behind and Outcomes Based Education and Common Core never knowing that no matter how much money was thrown into these experiments in teaching and testing that your children would come out less able to live independent creative lives. Those who were diagnosed with learning disabilities were doused with drugs and warehoused for a dozen years—the silent illiterates. The kids who did well were overloaded with homework and staggering schedules that made office work seem like a relief...

...If you’re identifying yourself as a Progressive Democrat you’ll be inclined to think UN Agenda 21 is some fantasy of the right wing and laugh it off. Do you have the guts to admit that you’ve been wrong? Or will you listen to the corporate press and be duped? What does it take for you to realize that the left and right are fighting the same fight? It’s the banks and big corporations buying off the government and non-profits. Global governance. New World Order behind the green mask.


43 posted on 02/06/2013 8:19:40 PM PST by MurrietaMadman
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To: MurrietaMadman

Bttt.


44 posted on 02/06/2013 8:54:58 PM PST by Inyo-Mono (NRA)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Every time I go to Reno and see their stupid “coexist” bumper stickers I wonder why they fled the state they helped to ruin only to start again in another state. It’s like a malignant cancer.


45 posted on 02/06/2013 9:54:40 PM PST by willk
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
“I hear the tax rates and house prices are low (in North Dakota),” said Dale, Tuesday. “And they also still allow smoking in bars. Now that’s something we certainly have to move there to stop, all while pretending to be simple ’podunk’ residents who want to mind own business … Yes, we have to move there and introduce our values to that state. I think North Dakota may be the perfect fit for us.”

It's Californians like this that give us all a bad name. Unbelievable.

46 posted on 02/07/2013 5:04:03 AM PST by hattend (Firearms and ammunition...the only growing industries under the Obama regime.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
The preceding piece is satire.

I certainly swallowed it hook, line and sinker.

47 posted on 02/07/2013 5:06:45 AM PST by hattend (Firearms and ammunition...the only growing industries under the Obama regime.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Come to Connecticut....we're in such bad shape....we just need more help to speed up our eventual demise. It's been a slow death.

Our motto is very apt.....

"QUI TRANSTULIT SUSTINET" which means "He Who Transplanted Still Sustains."


48 posted on 02/07/2013 5:11:02 AM PST by Daffynition (The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. — D.H.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

They run away from all the crime and the high expenses of everything and the taxes and they get to their new state. They love it with the low crime and low taxes and pleasant people- “This is great, Honey! This is almost perfect! The place just needs a few more services and get rid of those nasty guns that seem to be all over the place...


49 posted on 02/07/2013 5:40:55 AM PST by arthurus (Read Hazlitt's Economics In One Lesson ONLINE www.fee.org/library/books/economics-in-one-lesson)
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To: davetex

Arkansas? Son you is misinformed! We got our own troubles here. Hogs! Vast herds of feral hogs with two foot tusks what kill everything they can’t eat! They is drawn to the smell of hybrid and/or electrical cars and the folks what own’em. Not to mention that state law requires that you must join the Babtist Church within 10 days of arrival. And that gangs of homophobic Arkies wait outside of Starbucks and Sushi joints to whomp the snot out’a anyone they can.
Nope, best to just leave us to our ignorant backwood ways and move on the Atlanta (y’all fit right in there).


50 posted on 02/07/2013 8:51:46 AM PST by FreetheSouth! ("Those Rebel bastards couldn't hit an elephant at this dis..." Last words of Union General Sedgewick)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Stay the hell out of Texas! You wouldn’t like it here. Nothing here but poisonous snakes, scorpions, foot-long cockroaches, Republicans and wild-eyed Bible-toting gun-thumping rednecks.


51 posted on 02/07/2013 1:59:24 PM PST by TexasRepublic (Socialism is the gospel of envy and the religion of thieves)
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To: davetex
Ok,you win. Texas is way worse than Florida!

At least we can both agree that Arkansas is safer for Californians.
(They deserve it, after spawning the Clintons into power)

52 posted on 02/07/2013 7:57:32 PM PST by sarasmom (The obvious takes longer to discover for the obtuse.)
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To: FreetheSouth!

Sorry Arkansas.
(See my 52)

Texas and Florida both think Arkansas is a much more suitable habitat for deserting California ‘rats.
That Clinton thing....


53 posted on 02/07/2013 8:11:56 PM PST by sarasmom (The obvious takes longer to discover for the obtuse.)
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