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Vatican Canonizes Two Dead White Guys, Ignores Obama
The People's Cube ^

Posted on 04/28/2014 3:18:24 AM PDT by wetphoenix

While some undoubtedly ignorant people today made much ado about the nothing engendered in the Vatican's redundant elevation of two dead old white males into so-called "sainthood", reasonable people are asking a more important question: "Why was Barack Obama ignored?""It is obviously blatant racism," said a non-white hispanic writer for the famous and intellectually impressive New York Times. "After all," he added with less outrage than we had expected, "Obama won a NOBEL PRIZE FOR CHRISSAKES! If THAT doesn't qualify him for sainthood, what the hell does?""And by the way," he continued with more outrage than we had expected, "why the hell are you asking a MALE writer? Why don't you talk to some WOMYN, you sexist neanderthal?"Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) stated for the record, "This proves what I've been saying since I thought of it a couple of minutes ago," Reid said. "The Catholic Church is nothing but another front for the Koch Brothers. 'Koch' and 'Pope' are both spelled with 4 letters with an 'o' as the second letter. Do I have to draw you a picture?"Surprised by the controversy, apologists for the Catholic Church were quick to proffer the weak excuse that candidates must have miracles attributed to them, somehow implying that this requirement would rule Obama out. But even these non-believers have to concede that Obama's mere election to the presidency in mean, racist America was a divine event in itself, a supernatural occurrence only overshadowed by Saint Barack's greatest wonder of all, the Miracle of Free Healthcare for Everyone (aka the Affordable Care Act

(Excerpt) Read more at thepeoplescube.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: catholic; obama; racism; satire
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1 posted on 04/28/2014 3:18:25 AM PDT by wetphoenix
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To: wetphoenix

Can’t he sign a Executive Order to make himself a Saint?


2 posted on 04/28/2014 3:21:07 AM PDT by kempster
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To: wetphoenix

First Saint Obama...

then Saint Romney...

Then Saint Hillary..

and so on...


3 posted on 04/28/2014 3:31:26 AM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: wetphoenix

Our Bathhouse of St. Barry?


4 posted on 04/28/2014 3:40:51 AM PDT by Antihero101607
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To: wetphoenix

Point of order, is any approbation by mere mortals for a supreme deity even appropriate?


5 posted on 04/28/2014 3:42:33 AM PDT by Amagi (Lenin: "Socialized Medicine is the Keystone to the Arch of the Socialist State.")
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To: wetphoenix

Odds are 55-45 that this is satire.


6 posted on 04/28/2014 3:44:48 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Tennessee Nana; All
First Saint Obama...

I think that's already been taken care of by his people:


7 posted on 04/28/2014 3:47:36 AM PDT by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
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And let's not forget this one:


8 posted on 04/28/2014 3:54:15 AM PDT by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
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To: wetphoenix

No living person can be declared a saint, ever.


9 posted on 04/28/2014 4:08:49 AM PDT by Biggirl (“Go, do not be afraid, and serve”-Pope Francis)
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To: Izzy Dunne

100 - 0 would be more like it!!


10 posted on 04/28/2014 4:25:49 AM PDT by ontap
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To: kempster

Satan owns him.


11 posted on 04/28/2014 4:31:59 AM PDT by Old Yeller (Why is Jon Corzine a free man?)
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To: Izzy Dunne
Odds?


12 posted on 04/28/2014 4:36:22 AM PDT by newfreep
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To: wetphoenix

Well, a first step on the road to sainthood usually involves a funeral. That said, I’ve said too much. BTW, hello to all my friends at the NSA.


13 posted on 04/28/2014 4:55:26 AM PDT by muir_redwoods (When I first read it, " Atlas Shrugged" was fiction)
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To: newfreep

Good one! Right to the point.


14 posted on 04/28/2014 5:12:19 AM PDT by RedMDer (May we always be happy and may our enemies always know it. - Sarah Palin, 10-18-2010)
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To: wetphoenix

I think he’s gonna get voted in next time around. LOL!
I love the PC. Some sick funny stuff on their site.


15 posted on 04/28/2014 5:16:10 AM PDT by rktman (Ethnicity: Nascarian. Race: Daytonafivehundrian)
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To: wetphoenix

Well, the one requirement to be canonized that can’t be gotten around is that you have to be dead. I would be thrilled for Obama, to step up, repent of all publicly, proclaim the Kingship of Christ, and the be taken down by a Muslim bullet on the spot before he can regress.


16 posted on 04/28/2014 5:24:26 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("I'm a Contra" -- President Ronald Reagan)
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To: wetphoenix

They could have at least included Saint Trayvon.


17 posted on 04/28/2014 5:39:31 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("The more numerous the laws, the more corrupt the government." --Tacitus)
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To: wetphoenix

St.[sic] 0bama's REAL father

18 posted on 04/28/2014 5:42:08 AM PDT by The Sons of Liberty ("Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle?" - Patrick Henry, 1775)
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To: Amagi
>" is any approbation by mere mortals for a supreme deity even appropriate?"

As appropriate as another man forgiving your sins.

19 posted on 04/28/2014 5:50:31 AM PDT by rawcatslyentist (Jeremiah 50:32 "The arrogant one will stumble and fall ; / ?)
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To: wetphoenix


20 posted on 04/28/2014 6:10:05 AM PDT by Iron Munro (Malaysia Flight MH370 Black Box signals reported in Bermuda Triangle)
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