Posted on 11/03/2022 11:06:24 AM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, DC — As the date of next week's midterm elections approaches, President Joe Biden used his Wednesday night address to warn everyone that the results may not immediately be known because it may take several days for enough Democrat votes to be harvested and double-counted.
"Despite the fact that third-world countries around the globe are capable of tallying their votes on the same day as their elections, it's simply not realistic to expect that from the world's most technologically advanced nation," Biden shouted with an unnecessary amount of anger to the assembled crowd made up entirely of White House staffers and the media. "Folks, we've got to take our time, find out how far behind we are, and wait for the unmarked vans carrying bags full of ballots to arrive in the middle of the night. Then we gotta find out how many times we have to count each ballot. Tomato soup."
As First Lady Jill Biden and Secret Service agents quickly grabbed the President and pulled him away from the podium, White House spokesperson Holly Caust provided the media with a backtracking statement. "What the President was actually trying to say is that we will make sure our democratic process plays out in its entirety without anyone's right to vote being suppressed. There's simply no time limit on counting votes, even if various state laws clearly state otherwise."
At publishing time, Democrat operatives across the country were continuing to stock up on snacks and making sure the voting machines at polling stations were successfully connected to the internet in preparation for next week's marathon vote-manufacturing sessions.
Da Bee puts another one in the 10-ring.
Almost got stung....
So perfect!
Come on Bee, stop publishing the truth!!
Bump
Ungh! Babylon Bee! Ya got me!
I read the headline and TOTALLY thought Biden actually may have blurted out “double-counted”; it’s just SO freakin’ believable.
“Despite the fact that third-world countries around the globe are capable of tallying their votes on the same day as their elections, it’s simply not realistic to expect that from the world’s most technologically advanced nation,” Biden shouted with an unnecessary amount of anger to the assembled crowd made up entirely of White House staffers and the media. “Folks, we’ve got to take our time, find out how far behind we are, and wait for the unmarked vans carrying bags full of ballots to arrive in the middle of the night. Then we gotta find out how many times we have to count each ballot.
That’s not satire! lol
Think back to 2020 six states (PA, NC, AZ, WI, MI, NV) all stopped counting the second that XiBiden, accompanied by his diaper changer, gave his speech about it taking more time to count ballots!
“Biden Says It May Take Days For Democrat Votes To Be Double-Counted”
Biden Says It May Take Days For Democrats To steal this election.
There, fixed it
“We have put together I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics.” – Pedo Pete October 2020
Utterly so. Brilliant. May the Bee reign o’er New Babylon for 1000 years. Both peacefully and fruitfully.
That is great.
Got you, got you, got yooouuu!
Pathetic
AHH...Just saw it was the bee but there was a similar headline earlier without the double counted part. Election month here we come...we may have to vote until Christmas but the Rats will hold their majorities.
The truth is often told in jest.
My dream job: Writing for the Babylon Bee. Do these guys and gals actually get paid for having this kind of fun?
ELECTION RESULTS :
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET’S RECOUNT
See, he admits to double counting Democrat votes. (LOL)
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