Study: Brunettes Do Have More Fun

M-Europe | November 23rd, 2001

[StoneColdGOP]

A German scientist claims the old adage about blondes having more fun is no longer true. Professor Hans Juergens says his research proves brunettes now have more fun. He believes men want to marry blondes like Claudia Schiffer but have affairs with brunettes like Catherine Zeta Jones. Professor Juergens says men associate blondes with marriage and washing powder but brunettes with sex.

To test his theory the professor from Kiel put two ads in a newspaper pretending to be a 26-year-old woman looking for marriage. In one he made her blonde, in the other a brunette. "The men wanted to bed the dark-haired women, but were thinking of sharing their lives or building a house with the blonde," he said.

Professor Juergens says advertisers have already cottoned on to changing attitudes about hair color. "Almost everything that is associated with washing and cleaning materials is advertised with a blonde," he said. Dark-haired women, said the professor, are usually used to sell chocolate, alcoholic drinks and sexy underwear.

[Victoria Delsoul]

A Blonde is walking down the street and stops a man to ask for the time. The man, looking at his watch, helpfully responds, "Why, certainly! The time is now four o'clock."

The blonde scratches her head and says, "You know, it's really weird. I've been asking people that question all day long, and I keep getting different answers."

[Sir Gawain]

You're blonde, aren't ya?

Well, not naturally.

[Sir Gawain]

Blonde and her brunette friend are walking down the street and pass a flower shop, where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again...for no reason." The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?" The brunette says, "Oh, sure...but he always has expectations after getting me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

[Victoria Delsoul]

A blond stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

"What was wrong with it?" asked the librarian.

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"

The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. You must be the person who took our phone book."

[Sabertooth]

Q: Why did God create blondes?

A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did God create brunettes?

A: Neither could the blondes.

[Victoria Delsoul]

Passing an office building late one night, the blonde saw a sign that read, "Press bell for night watchman."

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed men proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled, "what do you want?"

"I just wanted to know why you can't ring it yourself."

[Sir Gawain]

ha!

[Sir Gawain]

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?

A: They can't find the zipper.

[Victoria Delsoul]

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead apply for a position at a large company.

The brunette went in first. The guy looked over her application and asked her one question: "How many D's are there in 'Bonanza'?"

The brunette replied, "None."

The interviewer replied, "OK, you may go into the next room for the next stage of the interviewing process."

The redhead went in next. The guy asked her the same question: "How many D's are in 'Bonanza'?"

She also replied, "None."

The interviewer replied, "OK, you may go into the next room."

The blonde went in and he asked her the same question: "How many D's are in 'Bonanza'?"

After counting on her fingers for a few minutes the blonde replies:"77."

The interviewer was shocked and asked her how she came up with 77.

She answered, "Dun da da dun da da dun da da dun dun da da..." (the Bonanza theme)...

[Uni-Poster]

This is the best thread Ive seen from you since the "how many beers would it take" thread. Too bad that one got pulled.

[Always Right]

[Sir Gawain]

Now that was bad! :-D

[Sabertooth]

Hah!

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

Look, donut seeds!

[Victoria Delsoul]

A man was in his front yard mowing the lawn when his blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her house.

A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angered, she again stormed back in her house.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out yet again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it shut harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked, "Is something wrong?"

"There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying "You've Got Mail."

[Sabertooth]

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?

So brunettes can remember them.

[Sir Gawain]

WHO SAYS A BLONDE IS STUPID? 

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.	When she took me to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", she turned around and went home.	She told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".
When the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the "Any" key.	She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.	If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.
She tried to drown her goldfish.	She sat on the TV and watched the couch.	If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.	She studied for a blood test and failed.	At the bottom of application forms where it says "Sign Here", she puts "Sagittarius".
She sold the car for gas money.	She thought Hamburger Helper came with another person.	She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
When she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.	When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.	She ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald's and said, "Hold the cheese".
She got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.	She looks up to see dead bird.	When she got to the empty 4-way stop, she waited for the other 3 cars to get there.

[Victoria Delsoul]

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Bystanders are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in.

The bystanders yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! They yank the blanket away ... the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the bystanders to the Redhead.

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.

"No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!"

"OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The bystanders yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the bystanders yell "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it...."

[Sir Gawain]

A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says:

"Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!"

[Sabertooth]

There were two blondes walking down the street and they spotted a compact.

They rushed over to see who it belonged to so they could return it.

The first one opens it and says, "This person looks familiar"

The second one says, "Let me see." She looks at her friend and says, "Silly, that's me!"

[Victoria Delsoul]

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed. "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave oven," he replied.