Something happened today!

My dementia | 02/08/2002 | Lazamataz

[Lazamataz]

Washington D.C. (UPA) -- In a stunning report, something is going on, reports a government agency Thursday. This happened over three times in three weeks, someone in this agency was quoted as saying.

“You’d be surprised what happens,” said this employee, “sometimes, things happen and I am not even made aware of it.” The employee would neither confirm nor deny that something went on, despite a Congressional Inquiry into the sequence of events.

Something happens on a regular basis somewhere in the globe, confirmed the Center for Responsive Stuff. Rates of things occurring have been rising worldwide ever since the government began keeping track of things, with a sharp dip in things not happening in February, bringing the total of stuff going on to an all time high. The incidence of foreign activity has sharply increased, as well, bringing the activity deficit to a relative parity with some other place somewhere. >{? “Surprisingly, things happen in foreign countries too,” said the Chief Counsel of Affairs of the United Nations, “and it is very difficult to keep track of it all – even in this highly computerized information age we are in.”

The quantity of things going on elsewhere has greatly concerned the Pentagon, who tries to keep strict controls on the various things going on. Said General Ween: “If things are allowed to get out of hand, there is just no telling, I mean, who knows where it will go or how bad it can get.” The President has budgeted for a sharp increase in monitoring capability for the US military in response to the threat of various things happening.

[Lazamataz]

Hey.

It could happen.

[VadeRetro]

Shit happens, then you die. Or is that, "Life's a bitch, then shit happens?"

[Lazamataz]

I tried getting this into Breaking News.

[RonDog]

Shouldn't this be posted as "BREAKING NEWS?"

[KeepUSfree]

"It can't happen here"

F.Z.

[1 FELLOW FREEPER]

There was no Breaking News today, as the few things that did happen, didn't happen fast enough.

[Sir Gawain]

What happen?

[Registered]

LOL!

[JoeSixPack1]

Wake me up when somethin' happens. Thanks

But, if nothin' happens, I think I should be informed.

[RonDog]

D@rn those Moderators!!! They're trying to squash this story!!!

[sinclair]

I'm glad it happened today and not next Tuesday!!!

[KC_for_Freedom]

Usually when things happen in the mid-west, they are not happening on the East and West coasts and vice-versa. But sometimes this is reversed.

[BlueLancer]

This just in ...

General Francisco Franco is still dead.

[1 FELLOW FREEPER]

""D@rn those Moderators!!! They're trying to squash this story!!!""

Yeah. Next the moderators are gonna want to know EXACTLY what happened, then, of course, all hell will break loose!!

[Lazamataz]

I'm glad it happened today and not next Tuesday!!!

There's rumors it will be happening again soon, unless swift action is taken!

[Lazamataz]

My only complaint is, why is this not all over Fox News? I mean, I understand about CNN and ABC/CBS/NBC -- they always try to keep up in the dark -- but Fox?

Et tu, Fox???

[PJ-Comix]

Schnitt Happens. We actually have billboards down here in Florida proclaiming that. The billboards are ads for Mike Schnitt, a local talk radio host. When you have a name like that, you either change it or make it work for you. Apparently Schnitt chose the latter course.

Schnitt Happens.

[Lazamataz]

Keeping you in the loop...

[txhurl]

Pure happenstance.

[Lazamataz]

Of all the people on this forum, you two should know about this.