USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes & Humor ~ November 18 2002

MARINES: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.

ARMY: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.

NAVY: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship.
(Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)

AIR FORCE: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons
and colorful squadron patches all over them.

An Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral are all sitting around discussing whose's service is better and whose troops are the bravest?
The Admiral (well into his second or third ice tea) announces to the group, " My SEALS are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossiple" as he raeches for the phone.
Well the other two commanders are in an uproar and each one promply calls for his best soldier.
When all three representives have arrived, the Admiral states "Since it was my idea, I'm first" and turning to the SEAL, he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark infested waters, climb up that shear cliff and return with with 2 bird eggs... unbroken of course.".
The SEAL (being the highly trained soldier that he is) turned runnig towards the cliff. After performing a triple-linddy into the water, the SEAL swam across the 10 miles (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs back over to the Admiral and hands him the 2 unbroken eggs.
The Marine General says "that wasn't nothing," and turning to the Force Recon Marine he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff,then move across the 4 miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back 2 eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle."
And with that the Force Recon moved-out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the 2 eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the General, the Marine hands him the eggs.
The Army General then says "Very nice gentlemen, but heres true bravery" and turning towards his BEST (an Airborne Infantryman), he says "I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, thru the 4 miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back 2 eggs from the forest on the other side."

The Paratrooper looks at the General, then the cliff, and again back to the General, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR!", renders a proper hand salute and walks away.

The General turn towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says
"Now gentlemen, thats BRAVERY."

Prayer Dinner Unifies Resort

By RANDY WALTER

CLEBE McCLARY, USMC (Ret.), holds up his Bible with the Marine Corps "Semper Fi" insignia on the cover while addressing last month's Ocean City Prayer Dinner.

As the first Salisbury Mayor's Prayer Luncheon prepared to welcome Flight 93 widow Lisa Beamer, whose husband Todd on Sept. 11 uttered the now-famous words "Let's roll," Ocean City held its first Mayor's Prayer Dinner last month.

The resort event's patriotic theme was not one of unthinking devotion to the American lifestyle, but one of unswerving devotion to the God of our fathers.

The evening included a recitation of historical events which corroborated America's Christian heritage.

Navy Chaplain Stephen Parker read the moving account, "Where was God on 9/11?" God was with those who died on the ill-fated flights, the firefighters and police officers who responded, and the innocent civilians and military personnel who lost their lives. He was with everyone who experienced shock and grief. And to those who were not taken on Sept. 11, He still calls them to "seek Me now, while I may be found."

Cong. Wayne Gilchrest commended two former POW's from World War II and the Korean War who were in the audience. The evening's main speaker, Marine Lt. Clebe McClary (Ret.), introduced the family of Marine Staff Sgt. Walter "Trae" Cohee, III, of Mardela Springs, who died on Jan. 20 in Operation Enduring Freedom.

Del. Norman Conway recognized the Maryland families of two men lost in the attack on the World Trade Center, Rich Caproni and Joe Maggitti.

Two members of the Fire Department of New York attended the dinner to honor Father Mychal Judge, the chaplain who was killed by falling debris on Sept. 11 while administering last rites to a fallen firefighter. His sister, Ocean Pines resident Dympna Jessich, participated in a memorial presentation on "Father Mike."

In his brief but powerful message, Clebe McClary told about his experiences in Vietnam.

He had been a high school and college coach who enlisted after witnessing the desecration of an American flag. While on a reconnaissance mission deep in enemy territory, his outfit was ambushed. When an enemy suicide squad charged his position, a satchel charge detonated next to him. Clebe lost his left arm and left eye.

He spent 30 months in the hospital and underwent 34 major surgeries. While on leave, Clebe went to hear one of his heroes, former New York Yankee Bobby Richardson.

One of the speakers at the meeting said, "There are two kinds of fools in this world: A fool for Christ and a fool for others. Whose fool are you?"

Clebe assessed his life. "I knew that night whose fool I'd been," he concluded.

As an athlete, Clebe never indulged in bad habits. People at the church his family attended thought he was a fine Christian young man. But clean living and going to church did not fill the vacuum in his heart.

That night, he and his wife "knelt, prayed, confessed our sins in a very personal way, and invited the Lord Jesus into our hearts. What we found was the real joy, the real life, the real peace that so many are searching for. It comes from a personal relationship with a Living Savior."

Since then, his story of determination and faith has encouraged people around the world.

"There's hope for America tonight," he declared. Referring to the education and affluence of Americans, he said our hope is not in learning or earning, but will be in turning. He cited II Chronicles 7:14

"If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

As he encouraged his audience to follow the same course which helped him overcome adversity, he related an illustration used by evangelist Billy Sunday. He described life as a baseball diamond. First base represents a personal relationship with Jesus. Second is church membership; third is service to others; and home plate is heaven.

A batter hit the ball long and began rounding the bases. The fielder played the ball off the left field fence. The runner beat the throw to home plate, but over the crowd's boisterous objections, the umpire called him out. The batter had failed to touch first base.

"Do you know for sure? Are you certain that you stepped on first base?" Clebe pleaded.

Hi, you two, welcome aboard! Tonk is probably at work now...I 'spect Kathy and bentfeather are 'moderating' the Canteen this time of day. All that really means is that they're the hostesses for visitors right now. If I don't hurry, they're going to have your question answered before I do!

We have a new thread daily; some are dedicated like the "Pray for President Bush" thread each Sunday and others are just going to open with whatever Tonkin feels like putting up. You'll notice today has military humor as a general theme.

Each day we take some time to pass on a message of support to our veterans, active duty personnel, and their families. Some of us spend hours on end in the Canteen, and others just post once. Whichever you do doesn't matter, it's getting the message out to those we support that matters!

Have fun, and we look forward to seeing more of you!

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