CHIRAC POSES NAKED FOR COVER OF ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY!

The Borowitz Report ^ | April 27, 2003 | Andy Borowitz

[proud American in Canada]

CHIRAC POSES NAKED FOR COVER OF ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

‘Desperate’ Attempt to Win Back American Fans, Critics Say

French President Jacques Chirac startled diplomatic circles today with his decision to pose nude for the cover of Entertainment Weekly magazine.

Mr. Chirac, his hands strategically covering key parts of his anatomy, appears buck naked on the magazine cover with controversial phrases and epithets such as “cheese-eating surrender monkey” written on his body in what appears to be a magic marker.

Reached at his home in Paris, Mr. Chirac said he took the unusual step of doffing his duds for Entertainment Weekly after losing a coin toss to French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin.

While some in the State Department called Mr. Chirac’s bid to win back American fans “desperate,” the French President defended his decision: “It’s not about the nakedness. It’s about clothes getting in the way of labels.”

A spokesman for the French President later acknowledged that Mr. Chirac had no idea what that statement meant.

Secretary of State Colin Powell, who just last week said that the French would be “punished” for opposing the U.S.-led mission in Iraq, said today he was not sure whether Mr. Chirac’s naked photo shoot fit the bill.

“After looking at Mr. Chirac naked, it’s hard for me to say who’s punishing whom,” Mr. Powell said.

[winner3000]

The new diet plan: If you want to lose weight, imagine Jacques Chirac and Michael Moore naked on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, right before meals! 10 lbs loss per week guaranteed!

[Ichneumon]

The new diet plan: If you want to lose weight, imagine Jacques Chirac and Michael Moore naked on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, right before meals!

Meanwhile:

And:

(All of these courtesy of the www.fark.com Photoshop challenge using the DC EW cover as material)

[F.J. Mitchell]

LOL,understatement of the century, for sure.

[F.J. Mitchell]

Better yet, create life size cutouts to stand in the middle of the table. THat could soon have the food producers of the world, whining like the French, though.

[mountaineer]

[easonc52]

Not my work either (from the same source (not sure if it shows for non-registered individuals)).

Someone please let me know if doesn't show, so I won't try it in the future (just getting my posting legs here). :)

[easonc52]

Sorry. got the answer to my own question. The picture changed to one I hadn't intended to post. :(

[easonc52]

Is there a way to edit or delete a post?

[McGruff]

Please remove my reply immediately. That's not the picture I posted!!!!!

[Rain-maker]

[proud American in Canada]

"No need for much air brushing. From the accounts I've read, there's no there, there... if you know what I mean. ;-)"


LOL!

It would be interesting to compare Al Gore's Rolling Stone cover picture to Jaques' EW cover... by the way, is that "ewwwww" deliberate?? ;-)

[proud American in Canada]

"the guy would have to be at sea too long to wanna do the macarena with ol' pierre!"


I'm so sad... all I get is a square with a little red X in it... I would have loved to have seen that picture! ;-)

[proud American in Canada]

ROFLMAO!

These are hilarious! And yet, extremely disturbing and vaguely nauseating.

Hilarious, nonetheless!

Thanks for posting them! :-)

[MadIvan]

Well, I suppose it works more quickly than Ipecac syrup.

Regards, Ivan

[proud American in Canada]

It shows!

Is there some relation to the Jacques / worm picture? ;-)

LOL!

[proud American in Canada]

*standing ovation*

Thank you, Rainmaker! I loved it! :-)

[proud American in Canada]

"Is there a way to edit or delete a post?"

Many times I have wished there were... ;-)

[mombonn]

Thankfully, there is no pic of jerk chirac au natural!

[ladyinred]

ROTFL!!! I guess we can assume he didn't do a Napoleon with his hand right? ;-) No pockets! (oh well, that is pathetic, I admit it!)