Americans Marry Russian Women. What For?

Pravda ^ | April 29, 2003 | Olga Blagodarova

[WaterDragon]

American men use Russian women for self-affirmation. The latter seem to be liking this fact

Marriages between Russian women and American men are very successful and harmonious, Olga Makhovskaya, the senior research assistant at the Psychology Institute in Russia's Academy of Sciences says. When an American man switches from the model of American family where husband and wife are partners equal in rights to the model of an Orthodox family, he thus raises his own significance. In Orthodox families men are given more authority and are more respected. It is certainly an advantage for a man and raises his social and psychological status. In a word, American men seem to have tired of the feminism propagated by American women, and it is frequent that they seek Russian women to start families.

Russian wives in America give up the traditional model of the Russian Orthodox family which relieves them of a heavy burden of responsibility and gives a chance to have a normal life in a family where the range of responsibilities is more definite for them: children, family affairs and housekeeping. At that, Russian women enjoy more attention and support from husbands.

As psychologists say, now Russian men undervalue the essence of family. The whole of the burden, housekeeping, upbringing of children, earning of money are shifted onto women. And, at the time when Russian women have so much responsibilities, their husbands spend their time dozing in front of TV sets in desperate attempts to find out the meaning of life and to understand the truth of the universe. They merely disregard everyday problems that are essential for their families as they consider the above mentioned idle thinking to be of higher importance.

That is why, as Olga Makhovskaya thinks relations in families between Russian and American partners are more harmonious. Each party gets what it wants to have. Husbands get authority and status, and wives are given, in exchange, peace in family and well-being. "Families of this kind where husbands are Americans and women are Russians prove to be long-living, as the roles in the family are clearly distributed and the mechanism operates good, although these are mixed families. In such families each of the couple is ready to make concessions and on the whole, wonderfully performs the role."

In addition, as researches held by Olga Makhovskaya reveal, marriages between Chinese men and Russian women are also very successful. ?There are tens of thousands of such marriages in Russia's Primorye region in the Far East. Chinese men are hard-working, they don't abuse in alcohol drinking and bring their wages home. In a word, they have lots of advantages by contrast with Russian men." It is sad, but the researches don't mention for whom Russian men suit wonderfully.

[Shut up and take it]

"In a word, American men seem to have tired of the feminism propagated by American women, and it is frequent that they seek Russian women to start families."

This says it all.

[AppyPappy]

"Divorce rate for American man to american woman marriages : 50+%

Divorce rate for American man to Russian Women : 20%"

Proof please

[Shut up and take it]

" The doctor is very attractive, makes great money, but when a man gets addicted to looking at retouched photos of "exotic" women on the prowl, he takes what he can get out of the little wife and cuts and runs. Or so it appears."

I'd be willing to bet that there's another side to the story.

[Shut up and take it]

"The whole of the burden, housekeeping, upbringing of children, earning of money are shifted onto women. And, at the time when Russian American women have so much responsibilities, their husbands spend their time dozing in front of TV sets in desperate attempts to find out the meaning of life and to understand the truth of the universe."

That is a shining example of the attitude that has caused American men to start looking elsewhere for wives!

[Bon mots]

Heaven and Hell

A joke from Asia

In Heaven:

You have an American salary,
a Chinese cook,
an English home,
and a Japanese wife.

In Hell:

You have a Chinese Salary,
a Japanese home,
an English cook,
and an American wife.

[dljordan]

I have a business associate from the Gold Coast who has been informing me of the plight of a woman who is trying to find her husbands hidden gold. She's been jailed by the authorities and only needs a few thousand to get out. As soon as I can raise her bail I'll be rich!

[rintense]

I wonder how different the reactions would be if American women were seeking men from overseas. Hmmm...

Seems to me some would prefer a submissive wife to one who has an opinion.

[Kenny Bunk]

Comrades, I recently sold 25 million barrels of Caspian Crude Oil and Caviar to a Saudi Sheik who inadverterntly overpayed my employers by $120 Million.

If you will please send me the Banking Transfer Number of your Checking and Savings institution, I should very much like to "park" these funds in your accounts.

Of course you will be paid handsomely for your services. Your share of the cash will be delivered to your homes (or other suitable location) at midnight by my sister Ludmilla, a very attractive and docile young woman who is, funny you should mention, seeking American male companionship. She is also a Board Certified Transplant Surgeon.

[Radioactive]

It looks as if Hillary Clinton is Russian.
Except she didn't have to wait to age.

[Skywalk]

I don't think anyone is saying there are NO good American women left. Indeed, many of the women I've dated I would consider to be good PEOPLE. Good wives? That's another story and that's the problem. As for glory's point about us blaming women, well, problem is, a good guy like me can't sit there worrying about the potential good ones that MIGHT be out there. Frankly, I've tried. I'm 27 and I despair for my future as regards marriage and I have NOT had terrible experiences. Imagine the poor guys that have!

You know what men want? LOYALTY. FIDELITY. Not just sexual fidelity, as some men may be freaky anyway lol, but to know that the woman will treat love as a choice and a COMMITMENT, not just an ephemeral impulse. Hell, that happened in my last relationship. Girl was talking about how she loved me and how she felt so vulnerable and admonished me not to take advantage of it and LITERALLY days later her feeling had changd on the basis of a DREAM!

Now young women of all ages are not the most stable emotionally, but I find that a man OF HONOR merely wants a woman of HONOR. I'm a good looking guy, I shouldn't have to settle for plain jane just because I'm not super rich.

And here's the super-kicker: Even if I were wealthy I'd still have serious reservations about marrying American because that is WHY they are into you. So when the time comes or you drop out of the rat race, guess who will be packing their bags?

This is not to say that there aren't men who've dishonored their name and forsaken their families. But there is CLEARLY a growing dissatisfaction with American women among the men here. From having to raise some OTHER man's kids to dealing with a woman who's been used more than a hobo's handkerchief to a woman raised as a princess and who feels entitled to the world because she has a vagina---it ain't easy.

So, your wifely jobs are being outsourced, and yes there is a risk that Americanization will overpower the woman's good training and there ARE bad apples out there just looking to come to AMerica, but you'd be surprised--many are not. And you know what?

WHO CARES IF THEY WERE?! Hell, wave a wad of bills in front of most girls face(or a more subtle equivalent) and they're all over you. I'd rather have a wife who wanted a better life but has some loyalty than a sexual merc who hires her vagina out to the highest bidder.

[Skywalk]

Uh, I'm assuming most of these cats aren't seeking wives from among the PROSTITUTES. lol There are college/vocational school educated women even among the poorer countries' representatives--to say nothing of many of the E. Euro women who hold advanced degrees.

As for the harsh winters--well thats' what they look like after living that life---have we seen the ones who've lived in the West their entire life(and if she's 23 and comes over--that should slow the aging a bit, I'd think)?

[Skywalk]

Problem--women here know that they aren't going to get a better group of suckers in the world. Trained from birth in feminism and chivalry--not just being nice to women, but elevating them, competing with other men for them and handing them things.

Another problem--by and large, the foreign men don't want the American women except as sexual novelties.

A simple search can reveal how expat women have extreme difficulties in much of the rest of the world while living out their career choice. While the men have the pick of the litter and the time of their lives--even in wealthy nations with little impetus for the women to leave, like Japan. The men of the home country merely want the plaything but for marriage they want women of their own kind. There has to be a demand for your scenario to have any credence.

And it is a typical feminist view that foreign women are somehow submissive--latin women and russian women are not submissive. I'd argue that most SE Asian women are not submissive either, but it is slightly racist or at least ethnocentric to assume that American women somehow possess the "rebellious gene" when compared to the very jealous Filipinas and Russian women who are educationally intellectually on par with their mates, if not superior.

Many Western feminists mistake femininity and lacking the entitlement attitude and hard-edge with "submissiveness." As is evident from my post, this is very much a mistaken view and a bigoted one.

And the women will continue to rail against the evil men or call dignified, feminine women "sex slaves" or "submissive" while their men continue to marry ELSEWHERE.

Again, there are bad and good in every bunch, but there's a damn reason this type of thing has taken off. And it's not because men are a-holes or only want servants.

[rintense]

Another problem--by and large, the foreign men don't want the American women except as sexual novelties.

And that's not an underlying reason for men to go overseas?!?!?! Look, I find it absurd that men are going overseas for women to marry without a basis in love. This is nothing more than a modern day version of arranged marriages.

If an American man is assuming that all American women are feminist extremists, then I say there's something inherently wrong with the men, not the women. There are a lot of good American women out there, just as I know there are good American men- its just a matter of finding them (and I'm still looking!)

[Conservomax]

To be honest, In my adult life, I have never met an unattractive young russian woman.

[Skywalk]

Exactly you're still looking. Weren't you the one who had a relationship end because the guy wanted to see more of you than you had time to allow for, what with your travelling and such?

Remember all the horror stories on here about men getting reamed in the family courts? Do you think that maybe they thought the found the right woman?

Why should a man keep trying over and over again? Maybe these guys are just playing the numbers game. The odds are in their favor.

I think it's a bit insulting to conflate MARRIAGE searches with sexual adventuring. In fact, it's stupid too. I distinctly made the point that they were not interested in American women except as sexual novelties. A man looking for a wife knows that there all kinds of freaks, of varying ethnicities, here in the US. That's not what he's looking for, though I don't doubt that some guys fall for the local girl they're shacking up with.

But beyond that, you got to the heart of the matter--love. It doesn't seem to do much. Seriously. I've heard way too many stories, seen way too much happen and experienced it myself. There has to be MORE than that. There has to be the understanding that love is more than a feeling, as Boston reminded us ;)

Arranged marriages these are not? You don't pick a photo and say "Send me her" Many of these men AND women go through dozens of prospective individuals and correspond for who-knows-how-long. Some of the women have access to email and IM programs and phone-over-net deals as well. Maybe not all or most, but it's becoming more common.

Also depends on how you define love and how it changes as people age. My first great love? Well I loved her really quickly. I felt and loved her femininity, her kindness, her tenderness within...weeks not months/years. Now, I'll be the first to say most of these guys are hoping to feel more love as the relationship continues--but it wouldn't be the first time--and it's not exclusive to these relationships.

It happened in America all the time. Hell, you weren't even supposed to have had any form of sex with the person before marriage.

Also, why should an accomplished guy who is mistreated or overlooked here in the States continue to bang his head against the wall? Really? My experience is not the experience of every man, I don't feel awkard about my looks or masculinity and am not made to feel that way. but I am every male.

More importantly, if my everyday conversations with women reveal anything, it's that many of the charges accusing them in the West of being histrionic/borderline disordered, materialistic, egotistical and emasculating are true.

The "good" ones may not be as much, but in the end are about as steadfast as sagebrush. They aren't bad people, but they are bad wives.

[Skywalk]

"but I am every male" is supposed to read that I am NOT every male. Sheesh.

[rintense]

More importantly, if my everyday conversations with women reveal anything, it's that many of the charges accusing them in the West of being histrionic/borderline disordered, materialistic, egotistical and emasculating are true.

Well, If *my* everyday conversations with men reveal anything, its that they *say* they won't let a woman walk all over them, take control, change them, etc. But in the end, they end up neutered. And I don't blame the women for that. I blame the men.

As for me still looking, yes, I'm still looking. But I'm looking for something real, not manufactured out of desperation to *be* with someone. As for that particular guy, he wanted every spare minute of mine. How many guys out there get scared away by women who do the same thing? Smothering, I believe, it is called. It does boil down to what you believe in, and how you define love. Manufactured love for the sake of being with someone is not something I believe in.

[Skywalk]

Yes, he was smothering. But that's what you tell us. How many individuals(of both sexes) have conjured up a reason for this or that--when, in fact, there is no real reason. I'm not even accusing you of this, it happens all the time.

And yes, many men do end up neutered, but at the first sign of standing up we either merely get our prison sentence extended for good behavior(;) or we get accused of being domineering or stifling your identity or some such nonsense.

As for manufacturing love out of desperation? There is some of that going on, but I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss these relationships, at least not all of them. As I hearkened back to my only "Great Love" I can see that if you are open, you can perhaps restore some of the lost innocence of youth and love again fully, even without being around the person thrice a week for a year.

Look, I know there are honorable and decent women who've gotten messed up in relations with men, but I can also point to many times where they passed up on the good man to go RIGHT to that bad guy and the warning signs were clear. Not all the time, mind you, but often.

I haven't given up totally, but I'm not going to wait until I'm 70 to get married just to give Western/AMerican women their "fair shot." This is my life, not theirs. If the odds are better another way, I'll take that way.

[Jimmy Valentine]

"Buy(so to speak) American"

Great idea! What I want in my life is a typical yuppie Boomer or X'er with an exaggerated sense of entitlement and no sense of participatory responsibility.

Someone who wants to be supported in all things but won't be requested what to do.

Someone who has bought into the feminist eternal grudge; the "men are responsible for my failure" mindset.

It will also help that she is getting even with Daddy for his failure to set her up in a permanent well heeled lifestyle with a trust fund.

If I am really lucky I can get one that is aching to get even with her ex-husband's real or imagined slights by taking it all out on me.

Yep buy American, that's the ticket!

I will take my Ukrainian fiance over most American women now operating any day of the week.

Pshalista!

[MissAmericanPie]

As long as you don't care that the woman you are bringing over has zip as far as any deep love for you goes, and may vote her liberal instincts, adding to the female voter problem we already face, then go for it.

I have seen very few work out. At my son's birthday party at a skating rink, this stranger a booth away in the snack bar moved to my table and spent a couple of boring hours crying over his mail order brides Americanization, she dumped him after he got her entire family over here. Now she won't let him see his kid.

I guess the lure of having a female totally dependent on you and the hope for future loyalty is pretty potent. They learn to speak english, train for jobs, have affairs, and leave when they are ready. I don't know what the stats are, but I feel pretty sure most guys end up just being a way station to a new life.