CHIRAC CALLS FOR AN END TO FRENCH JOKES - Bush Blasts Proposal as 'Premature'

Borowitz Report ^

[Sub-Driver]

CHIRAC CALLS FOR AN END TO FRENCH JOKES

Bush Blasts Proposal as 'Premature'

French President Jacques Chirac today called for an "immediate cessation" of jokes about France now that the active combat phase in Iraq had concluded.

In an impassioned speech to the United Nations Security Council, Mr. Chirac said that if the time had come to lift sanctions against Iraq, ""then it is also time to stop calling the French 'cheese-eating surrender monkeys.'""

In addition, Mr. Chirac asked the U.S. to reverse its decision to rename French fries ""Freedom Fries,"" arguing that the derisive renaming of that popular delicacy was currently costing France billions of Euros in royalties every week.

In his most emotional appeal, Mr. Chirac asked that the U.S. stop referring to the French as "weasels" and refrain from gratuitous references to France's inexplicable love affair with the actors Jerry Lewis and Mickey Rourke.

"Get over it!" Mr. Chirac roared.

But Mr. Chirac's speech may have fallen on deaf ears at the White House, where President Bush today characterized the French President's request as "premature."

""The United States has no timetable for stopping making fun of the French," Mr. Bush said. "We'll stop ridiculing the French when we're good and ready, and not one day sooner.""

When told of Mr. Bush's statement, Mr. Chirac sighed deeply and said, ""I give up," to which Mr. Bush replied, chuckling, "Of course he gives up – he's French."

In other news, intercepted cell-phone conversations recently re-analyzed by the CIA now reveal that Saddam Hussein did not have ""weapons of mass destruction,"" as earlier suspected, but rather ""lessons in tax deduction.""

""The CIA regrets the error,"" Director George Tenet said.

[Billthedrill]

Ridicule? But...but...but it isn't ridicule at all. Yes, I do occasionally refer to ze arrogant, snail-eating, grape-stomping, galois-smoking, Jerry Lewis loving, cheese-eating surrender monkeys but I mean it in a perfectly nice way.

[kellynla]

EXCELLENT CARTOONS! Thanks for posting! My father, a combat veteran of WWI, would have really appreciated the outrage that Americans have shown. He was the ultimate patriot and warrior. He laid his life on the line for the French.

[Calpernia]

Bump! Great cartoons! Thanks, needed comic relief!

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

Bump for your father!

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

:-)

[Liberal Classic]

Why do the French like to plant trees by the side of the road?













Germans prefer to march in the shade.

[Calpernia]

Oh really? Me thinks I'm forwarding this to the Legion, ROFL!!!!

Thanks TaRa! Don't you just love it when they come back for more >:)

[Calpernia]

AAAAAHHHH! Is that a burka??????????

[Calpernia]

[Calpernia]

[Calpernia]

[VOA]

"I'll be back."

...to shamelessly down load the graphics on this thread

[Calpernia]

[Calpernia]

[Calpernia]

Note to all Freepers; in the spirit of goodwill we will no longer use in describing the French the offensive term "cheese-eating surrender monkeys". Henceforth the new term for describing the French will be "Brie-chewing appeasement baboons".

Please make a note of this...

Sorry, I guess I missed your memo

[lodwick]

Hilarious - thanks for this one.

I love it when frogs grovel.

[Calpernia]

WARNING! Ensure no liquids are in your mouth before you scroll down to this great pic!

Freeper is not responsible for damage to keyboards while viewing thread and drinking liquids.

[Calpernia]

[Calpernia]

CLICK

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

LOL!!! I really like this one. LOL!!!