PRAYER REQUEST-URGENT!

Raybob | 6/16/2003 | Raybob

[RayBob]

Urgent: Prayers needed.

My wife, Lisa, is 10 weeks pregnant. We tried for 2 years and finally succeeded. Now we are facing a possible miscarraige. She started bleeding last night and is experiencing pain in her back and side. We called the doctor and she said that it might be a miscarriage, and if it is, there is nothing that they can do. We go for an ultrasound in a couple hours (earliest time we could get); with the ultrasound, they can determine if it is a miscarraige or not.

Please pray for Lisa and our child. While your at it, I could use a few prayers myself...I just learned on Friday that I will be losing my job effective July 11. With everything that is happening, I'm not sure I can be strong enough to be there for Lisa. I've been praying for stregnth, as well as for the baby, but could use some help. I'm not worried about the job, as you can always find work if you want it. Right now, my main concern is Lisa and our baby.

[strela]

You and your Lisa are indeed both in my prayers. May both she and her baby prove sound and healthy in this trying time, and may YOU take care of yourself as well. And I mean that - take time throughout the day to eat, sit down, and RELAX. Unnecessary worry only hurts your family, so don't do it.

Sorry to hear about the job; I'm in the same boat (although I live alone, can live on essentially nothing (a country boy can survive), and don't have near the family complications you do). Freepmail me if there is ANYTHING I can do to help.

[bonfire]

Prayers going up.

bump

[RayBob]

Thank you all for your prayers and support. Unfortunately, we lost the baby. Really, we lost the baby about 4 weeks ago. Lisa's body did not begin to react to the situation until last night. The doctor called it embryonic demise, and referred to it by the medical term of "missed abortion". The baby stopped developing about 4 weeks ago, most likely due to chromosomal deformities. It was not a viable pregnancy. While Lisa was at 10.5 weeks, the gestational sac was at a size for 7 weeks and the baby was at 6 weeks. There was no hope. It was just not meant to be.

We have been given the choice of allowing nature to run its course and for the miscarraige to occur naturally, or for Lisa to have a D and C. We will likely opt for the later as there is concern about toxicity. Thank you all for your prayers and support. Please continue to pray for us, both for a quick recovery for Lisa and for our future attempts to concieve.

[mountaineer]

May God bless and comfort you and Lisa, Ray.

[Think free or die]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. We suffered five such losses, and had some very discouraging times. Ultimately, things worked out for us, and we were blessed with two sons, 2.5 years apart. They're now 10 and 7, and are a great blessing (and occasional aggravation) to us. I hope that you and Lisa will ultimately experience the joy that we have had with our youngsters. You're going through a terribly difficult time now, and comfort will be difficult to find. I will pray for you, Lisa, and your unborn baby.

If you opt for a D&C, you may wish to have the baby's remains for a private burial. Our hospitals didn't make a habit of releasing them, but when my husband signed enough papers, they did so. It was a great comfort to us to find a peaceful place on our own property to bring our babies home rather than leave them with the hospital personnel. We have a little stone statue and flowers there now, and our sons know exactly why we've done so. It has helped us a lot to have this memorial spot. We also have five special handmade ornaments (butterflies) for our Christmas tree. Our sons hang these every year, as we remember the brothers and sisters who were lost to them and the children lost to us. You and Lisa may find some comfort in rituals of your own; many grieving parents have found them helpful.

Jan

[Exit148]

I just found this thread, Ray. I'm very sorry for you, for Lisa and the little angel.

Accepting what happened is difficult. We have no true answer for the good Lords decisions, and no good answer for the way nature works. We may question, but tis better to grieve a while, then start anew. One daughter-in-law, who was with me when she lost two separate early-term pregnancies, now has 3 very healthy boys. There is hope!

I will say a prayer for the little soul, and of course for you and Lisa. But also for you and the 'bring-home-the-bacon' situation. Keep us posted on your job search. We care.

[WVNan]

I'm so very sorry RayBob. May you and Lisa find comfort in your time of challenge. Very often a first pregnancy is non-viable. The next one should follow rather quickly and be viable. May God put you in the right place for the right job for you.

[savedbygrace]

Certainly, RayBob, I'll pray for you, your wife, and your baby. And you're getting a lot of encouragement and prayer from others.

So, now it's time for a Dutch Uncle talk. God is your provider, your employer isn't. You need to understand that a job, and work, is a blessing from God, but it is NOT your provision.

God ALWAYS gives you everything you need. So, if he's not providing work, he's providing something else. Rest, peace, family time, times of refreshing. But he is always providing.

So, stop in your tracks and thank God that he's providing for you, rest in the understanding that he's providing for you, and go minister to your wife. That's your job, sir.

All of the above, in love, in the name of the Lord, the Messiah and soon-coming King, Yeshua, Jesus, the Son of the living God. Amen.

[Pegita]

Prayer as you grieve, and prayer for your comfort, and prayer for the little ones yet to be ... may it be thus, Lord ... may it be thus ...

[Nam Vet]

My prayers are with you, Lisa and your baby. My wife and I went thru the same thing. After much prayer and worry, we now have our youngest son, healthy, happy and 13. May God grant all of you the same.

Nam Vet

[Carolina]

I'm sorry for your loss. May God's peace surround you and embrace you through this difficult time.

[viaveritasvita]

Heavenly Father, we pray your presence be with Lisa and RayBob. Help them to understand that Your ways are not our ways. Draw near to them and honor their belief and faith. We ask many blessings for Lisa and RayBob in the name of Jesus Christ, the Messiah. Amen.

[potlatch]

I'm truly sorry for your loss. I pray God grants you another baby before long, and a steady job.

[mikegi]

I'm very sorry about the miscarriage. Several others have written that they ultimately had success after miscarriage(s). I'll add our story: shortly after going off the pill my wife became pregnant. Unfortunately, she miscarried at around 8w while we were on vacation. It took nine long, ugly years and zillions of infertility treatments before we had a viable pregnancy. Our daughter is now 3-1/2 years old. The cause of our infertility was never determined.

There is an excellent BBS site where you and/or your wife can find others in your situation: http://www.inciid.org.

One word of advice: if you are doing infertility treatments, get involved early on and don't just leave everything up to the doctors. I didn't get involved in our course of treatment until after our second IVF failed. Until then I didn't really know anything about the details of the treatments. It was only after our third RE told us it was hopeless and to give up that I got extremely angry (mainly because the loud gasp my wife let out when he said that, it was like he had punched her in the stomach). We got into a shouting match in his office. I basically used him as an encyclopedia and walked through the process of getting pregnant finding where things were going wrong and what could be done about it. We switched REs at the clinic, changed our protocols, and finally had success on our third IVF.

You'll have to be the judge of the best way to help your wife through this. I basically took the view that we were not going to make a big deal about the losses and focus on the future.

[RayBob]

"Very often a first pregnancy is non-viable. The next one should follow rather quickly and be viable."

Thank you. This was actually our second. We have a 7 year old daughter. I had always wanted another child, but my wife did not. She had finally decided that she wanted another child and we had been trying for 2 years. We will try again, but at 40, time is running out for her.

[cav68]

May Gods Grace be with you and your wife and give you the stamnia and comfort you both need during this time unknowing.

[RayBob]

Thanks for the advice. I'm not worried about the job situation. I'm good at what I do and will find another job. I see this situation as you portray it. Staying with my current firm was not in His plan for me. I know that God will put me where he wants me to be and I put the entire job thing in His hands. Right now, I need to concentrate on the task at hand, which is Lisa's physical, emotional and spiritual health.

[savedbygrace]

Praise God.

[bonfire]

Your wife is blessed to have you for her partner. Will be praying and thinking of you.