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~Saying good bye~
CookingWithCarlo.com ^ | Sept 23, 2003 | Carlo3b Dad, Chef, Author

Posted on 09/23/2003 6:48:59 PM PDT by carlo3b

~Saying good bye~

Dealing with loss, and surviving...

Learning to live with death, divorce, absence, separation, and change. Escaping uncertainty, fear, loneliness, bitterness, emptiness, anger or hate.

Grief, and how to cope, is far too difficult a topic to stumble upon with simple words. No one, least of all me, could possibly understand the full range of pain, or the depth of emotion each of us feel at that dreadful moment when we experience a real loss. Dealing with the loss after all, is a vital first step on the long journey to healing. Each of us must confront this necessary and painful process to discover our own way to continue.

Accepting the loss of someone or something is the first step to healing, hope, and future happiness.

With any loss or life altering change, we must accept our emotions. We have to allow ourselves to face the inevitable truth, a sorrowful fact that something dear to us has ended, or someone we love has departed, and nothing will ever be the exactly the same again. That is the hardest part, taking the first difficult step, is facing the facts.
 
We must develop an understanding with the new reality. We have to accept the truth, and with the truth we can prepare to begin again.. We must start over. There has to be a time to grieve, and a time to mourn. Fear of change is the hardest part, but it is a beginning, and we must begin again.

"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."
-Michael Pritchard
Grieving, is our tribute to true love.

Finding a way to say good bye doesn't mean that we have to learn to forget. Our loved one will never be forgotten, nor must we rush to resolve what the loss has meant. Love lasts forever. Falling in love takes time, and it grows. Slowly, and carefully we allow ourselves to fall deeply in love and finally, with passions and emotions aside, we discover the warmth and gentleness of enduring and everlasting love.
 
True love will be in your heart forever, but pain of loss doesn't have to. What we must learn is to survive the emptiness, the absence, the silence... We need to to learn to live on with the memories of better times, and find our peace in our everlasting love..
 
Our loved one may have departed this life. They have not abandoned us, they remain in our pleasant memories. But, they have advanced us into a better place.. in eternity there is no pain, there is a place were they are at peace. We will meet again.. in that peaceful place.

"We cannot change anything until we accept it."
-C. G. Jung, Psychological Reflections
Mourning is forever, there is no real ending point, no time limit. It requires work, and time. It does get better. It does become livable. But the experience of a profound loss, changes us in profound ways.  Love held you together in life, and it will hold you together after things change.  Little things remembered will trigger moments of sadness, but it will also bring back a warm memory of a happier times. We have to give balance to those strong but competing forces. Strolling down memory lane can bring a tear, but it will remind us of that deep and abiding love that only a very few ever experience. How fortunate you really are, to have lived in the rarefied air of true love...
"If you have loved once, you can and will again.. Only a true lover can find love in all it's hiding places"
-C J Morelli
Mourning, and missing are a natural and personal process that only you can set in motion. It cannot be rushed and it cannot happen without your participation. But eventually, and strangely, everything begins to come together, pieces fit and are found that seemed to be forever missing. One day, without notice a soft light begins to emerge and a whisper of life sprouts.. life will return, and you will find peace..
"People only see what they are prepared to see."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Regret, is the longest and loneliness road to heartbreak, bitterness and defeat.

One of the most difficult experiences one can confront, is that of a sudden loss. The one that didn't have to be. Someone taken, at once.. and forever. No one is prepared for that. All we can to do to protect ourselves against those unavoidable but tragic happenings, prayers help, but actions are better.
 
Everyone has to protect themselves against the potential, maybe even the probable, or is it, the eventual... LOVE my FReeper FRiends, love is what is important, showing and accepting love today, NOW, will save the agony of regret tomorrow... and forever..
 
However, the loss that arrives unnoticed, and sleeps in your bed, and eats at your table, the one that avoids confrontation, and says nothing much at all. I speak of the cruel loss of omission.. Allowing a love to die slowly, malnourished.. loss that comes from the pain of neglect.... Love today as if there will be no tomorrow...
 
Living with loss is difficult enough without having regret. Most of us take life and living for granted, and why not, what could change.....  

I love you...

By Chef Carlo J. Morelli,  Falling Leaves from the Diary of a Single dad



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; Free Republic; Miscellaneous; Philosophy; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: coping; grief; grieving; surviving
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To: Palladin; trussell
Prayers for you in this ever so difficult and confusing time ...


241 posted on 09/27/2003 3:46:29 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (Check out the Texas Chicken D 'RATS!: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/keyword/Redistricting)
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To: trussell
I just learned that the sudden influx of the adult children of my next-door neighbor's adult children the last two weeks, was due to their learning of the murder of their 33 year old brother -- an artist at the Venice, CA art show, who sold his first "big sale" painting there -- PRAYERS for the family and Mom and Dad, Richard and Kristina, please.
242 posted on 09/27/2003 7:19:23 AM PDT by AKA Elena (Seldom actively participating, but ALWAYS reading and thinking and coming to conclusions!)
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To: Palladin; WVNan; MissAmericanPie; Yaelle; hope
I join with the other Freepers here lifting each of your loved ones up for God's blessing and peace! I pray for strength and love for all of you in dealing with these tragedies.
243 posted on 09/27/2003 7:40:25 AM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: carlo3b
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6

Wise beyond her years...

244 posted on 09/27/2003 8:36:22 AM PDT by alexandria ( T.A.K.E. {{"The All Knowing Entity."}})
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To: Palladin
I'm so sorry to learn about your sister. I join with other Freepers in prayer for her, and for you and your family as you face this bleak time.
245 posted on 09/27/2003 9:18:25 AM PDT by Sandylapper
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To: Palladin
Prayers for your sister and your entire family.
246 posted on 09/27/2003 10:05:13 AM PDT by austingirl
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To: MissAmericanPie
Prayers for your husband and for you.
247 posted on 09/27/2003 10:06:12 AM PDT by austingirl
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To: Yaelle
Four weeks is a long time to wait - may God bless and keep your son and your entire family.
248 posted on 09/27/2003 10:07:05 AM PDT by austingirl
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To: carlo3b
Love is ... worth it

sometimes.

249 posted on 09/27/2003 10:07:38 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: hope
Prayers for Josh and family on the way.
250 posted on 09/27/2003 10:07:52 AM PDT by austingirl
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To: WVNan
Prayers for your family.
251 posted on 09/27/2003 10:08:21 AM PDT by austingirl
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To: austingirl
Thank you.
252 posted on 09/27/2003 11:14:28 AM PDT by MissAmericanPie
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To: carlo3b
Thanks for this, Carlo. I lost my husband of 30 years to cancer in a sudden and unexpected way in July. It's good to read the kind of things you have written here. Bless you!
253 posted on 09/27/2003 11:17:43 AM PDT by redhead (Les Français sont des singes de capitulation qui mangent du fromage.)
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To: carlo3b
Have been off line for two days... This was the first thing I came to ....If you need me...if I can help in any way..please let me know...I haven't read through the thread yet, but I wanted to send something to let you know I'm here.

prisoner6

254 posted on 09/27/2003 2:05:30 PM PDT by prisoner6 ( Right Wing Nuts hold the country together as the loose screws of the left fall out!)
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To: AKA Elena; cherry; Devil_Anse; FR_addict; GovernmentShrinker; hergus; Jackie-O; lakey; Palladin; ...
Prayer ping. Please post your replies to AKA Elena.

AKA Elena requests prayer: I just learned that the sudden influx of the adult children of my next-door neighbor's adult children the last two weeks, was due to their learning of the murder of their 33 year old brother -- an artist at the Venice, CA art show, who sold his first "big sale" painting there -- PRAYERS for the family and Mom and Dad, Richard and Kristina, please.

AKA Elena-my prayers go out to the family.

If you want on or off my prayer ping list, please let me know. All requests happily honored.

255 posted on 09/27/2003 2:31:33 PM PDT by trussell (Prayer, It does a body good!!)
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To: AKA Elena; trussell
Praying.
256 posted on 09/27/2003 2:34:54 PM PDT by EternalVigilance
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To: carlo3b
((((((((((carlo))))))))

Here I am - days later. I had no idea about this thread until today.

If there is *anything* .45MAN and I can ever do for you, please - we are just a FReepmail (or email) away!

I *always* have an abundance of hugs for you, my FRiend.
257 posted on 09/27/2003 3:02:28 PM PDT by dansangel (*Visualize No Democrats*)
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To: carlo3b
Thanks for posting this info. I have saved it.
And thanks for laughing at the way I cook chilie. It made me feel good. So thanks for making me feel good.
You are one of my favorite friends.
Hope you are having a good day.

Your Friend
DUB
258 posted on 09/27/2003 4:38:09 PM PDT by Dubya (Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father,but by me)
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To: trussell
Sure, friend- been offline trying to make a used computer come back to life!
259 posted on 09/27/2003 4:55:02 PM PDT by backhoe
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To: trussell
The family is in my prayers.
260 posted on 09/27/2003 4:55:34 PM PDT by MissAmericanPie
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