Pius...
Posted on 02/23/2013 4:42:51 PM PST by NYer
Of all the possible advice I could give to a new Pontiff, perhaps the most important would be on the subject of name selection.
I wouldn't presume to tell the new Pope what name to pick, but I feel very qualified to tell him which names not to pick. All of the names below are previous names of Popes that should not be repeated. Let's just say they would send the wrong message or offer too many opportunities to detractors.
Hilarius
Picking this name is just asking for trouble. Trust me, Holy Father, it will be very difficult for you to be taken seriously. Why give them such easy ammunition? You might as well call yourself Pope Chuckles I. Not a good idea.
Simplicius
While simplicity can be a virtue, I just don't think I could bear years of Bill Maher simpleton jokes. It is just too easy, why give it to them?
Severinus
Again, just too easy. Popes are already routinely mocked for being 'severe.' Why give them this. Besides, there is a whole segment of the population that will think the Pope is a character in a J.K. Rowling novel. The geeks and cranks will routinely photoshop the pope into black robes and long greasy hair. If we wanted that, we would just elect Ozzy Pope. So no.
Lando
Again, no geeks references. No Star Wars names, period. Sorry, Pope Luke is out too. No Pope should have to endure comparisons to Billy Dee Williams or even Darth Vader. Frankly, I am not sure which is worse.
Sisinnius
Seriously? Do I even need to explain this one? Let's just say this name makes it increasingly difficult to promote traditional marriage. Best if avoided.
(Excerpt) Read more at ncregister.com ...
(Pope Fabian was the 20th Pope, and reigned from 236 - 250.)
Herns?
Pius...
Hadrian’s mausoleum is a large round structure near the Tiber, on the same side as the Vatican. The Renaissance popes used it as a fortress and had an underground passageway so they could get there from St. Peter’s in an emergency.
Of course it will never happen, but a Pope Cletus II would be a nice nod to us rednecks. Unfortunately, there’s an antipope gumming up the works on that one.
Pope Fabian
Pope Fabian ruled from 10 January 236 to 20 January 250, succeeding Pope Anterus. He is honored as a saint by the Catholic Church.
Eusebius of Caesarea (Church History, VI. 29) relates how the Christians, having assembled in Rome to elect a new pope, saw a dove alight upon the head of Fabian, a layman and stranger to the city, who was thus marked out for this dignity and was at once proclaimed bishop by acclamation, although there were several famous men among the candidates for the vacant position.
“The last Pope Adrian was Adrian VI, a Dutchman who was so unfamiliar with Rome that he thought he was going to need to rent a place to live in. He lasted about a year—well-meaning reforming pope up against a lot of cardinals who were not keen on reforming.”
This was in the early stages of the Protestant Reformation and Adrian proposed that perhaps the Church was at fault and its doctrines needed to be reformed. This of course went against the entrenched power structure in Rome who wouldn’t countenance any sort of change and continued to argue for the idea of papal/Church infallibility.
Also of course Adrian’s ethnic background went against him. As he was not Italian, he encountered the hostility of the Roman populace who considered him a stranger and a barbarian from a faraway country. His death was met with celebrations in the streets.
“An earlier Pope Adrian, Adrian IV, is the one who gave the go-ahead to the English to conquer Ireland. He happens to be the only Englishman ever elected pope.”
How very convenient. “God has ordained that England (my homeland) conquer the heathen Irish.” Oh well, that was just how things were in medieval times when the Papacy was a political football.
The Emperor Hadrian was an anti-Semitic fag.
“The term Five Good Emperors was coined by the political philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli in 1503.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerva%E2%80%93Antonine_dynasty#Five_Good_Emperors
Pope Lexus I?
Pope Goesaweasel is definitely out.
Bigus is classic!!! I got the joke.
He should not pick Petronum.
Why not . . .
Exadaius, or just plain
Exodus . . .
Or maybe something like
Peter-Paul . . . the two didn’t get along so much, and there is always a lot of hidden infighting going on in the back rooms of the Vatican. A Peter-Paul could fight back at both sides at the same time
Lamenteous . . .
Armageddiconus . . .
Or finally, he could be Apocalypsus
If he’s from Mexico he’ll choose Jesus II (pronounced ‘hay-sues’), if he’s a brother, he’ll choose Ice Mofo I.
I’m hoping he chooses Peter the Roman.
(Pope Fabian was the 20th Pope, and reigned from 236 - 250.)
I don't know, but times may be right for a Pope Fabian of Pompadour...
Seeing as how Hadrian (rot his bones!) came about as close to extirpating Judaism from the earth as has ever been done by anyone, and his turning Jerusalem into a pagan Roman city, that certainly doesn't speak well of the early chrstians.
Sonja Henie’s out.
Serves to typlify the "everywhere is exactly like the USA" attitude.
Completing the list
Adrian
Peter
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