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Peter the Roman is Still Coming!
I could tell you, but them I'd have to kill you. | Dangus

Posted on 03/26/2013 9:00:48 AM PDT by dangus

Half of Freeperdom seems to have been caught up in the speculation that Pope Benedict XVI's successor would be Peter the Roman, the final pope before the end of the world. But the gospel plainly said that you shall not know the day nor the hour. How can end-of-the-world prophecies be true AND the gospel be true? Simple: the end-of-the-world prophecies must be fulfilled in secret. But how?

Simple: Pope Benedict XVI is still the pope! Sure, other popes have resigned, but they quickly died afterward. Benedict hasn't even left the Vatican! Think about it: Pope Francis won't even wear the papal vestments. Oh, he's too modest, they say. No, it's because dear Pope Benedict still wears them.

But why? Now, when Pope Benedict dies, they can gather all the cardinals, supposedly for his funeral, and elect a new pope without the world even knowing.


TOPICS: Catholic; Humor
KEYWORDS: petertheroman; petrusromanus; pope; satire
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To: dangus
Without a doubt they'll sneak off to Bohemian Grove to hold the conclave rather than in Rome as expected.

They can pull only it off by waiting until the Christmas season starts one year to smuggle the Cardinals in when everyone will shrug off their wardrobe.

The key, then, is watching for a concentration of idle Santas in the vicinity of Bohemian Grove. When someone slips up and says, "On Dasher, on Prancer, on Peter the Roman . . .", we'll know we've started The Final Countdown.

It'll be just like last year, and the year before, and the year before that, and back when there were "88 Reasons For 88" which was right before the "Late Great First Ferrari and Second Wife".

41 posted on 03/26/2013 10:36:43 AM PDT by Rashputin (Jesus Christ doesn't evacuate His troops, He leads them to victory.)
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To: UCANSEE2; dangus

Rrrrighto then...

The Bible clearly states one can know the signs and the season of the end times,

and the only condition I know regarding the end is that the Gospel is preached throughout the whole world so that everyone who wants salvation will hear the clear Gospel calling. Then the end can come so, yes, we are close, very close...


42 posted on 03/26/2013 10:39:42 AM PDT by BrandtMichaels
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To: mnehring

This isn’t a legitimate Pope.

Only one of his parents was born in Italy.


43 posted on 03/26/2013 10:50:44 AM PDT by Jeff Winston
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To: UCANSEE2

Matthew 24:36
King James Version (KJV)

36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

Seems that GOD knows.

LLS


44 posted on 03/26/2013 11:00:12 AM PDT by LibLieSlayer (FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS!)
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To: Jeff Winston

LOL


45 posted on 03/26/2013 11:00:34 AM PDT by mnehring
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To: kabumpo

Such pigs these Romans be?


46 posted on 03/26/2013 11:12:26 AM PDT by OpusatFR
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To: BrandtMichaels

>> The Bible clearly states one can know the signs and the season of the end times, <<

Actually, it says PRECISELY THE OPPOSITE:

“It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.” — Acts 1:7

“But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only... Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” — Matthew 24:36, 44

Many people interpret Matthew 24:32-33 as meaning that you CAN and SHOULD know when to expect the end times (”From the fig tree learn its lesson: as soon as its branch becomes tender and puts out its leaves, you know that summer is near. So also, when you see all these things, you know that he is near, at the very gates.”) But these happenings are to confirm his prophecy regarding the end of the world, not signal the end of the world. After all, it seems to many like “these things” refer to the end of the world. Not hardly!

Christ describes all manners of signs that will NOT mean the end of the world (vs. 4-14). But he warns they do NOT mean the end of the world. (vs. 25-26, 46-44). Then, he describes how, instead, the end of the world will be fast as lightning (vs. 27)

Granted, since he uses a colloquialism (”at the gates”), it’s easy to misread him as saying he is about to come, supposing that “at the gates” means “about to leave.” But what it really means is that he is protecting the church amidst all the turmoil.


47 posted on 03/26/2013 11:17:56 AM PDT by dangus (Poverty cannot be eradicated as long as the poor remain dependent on the state - Pope Francis)
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To: Campion
It's from Monty Python Brotha

Lucky it doesn't have a killer rabbit.

48 posted on 03/26/2013 11:24:56 AM PDT by KC_Lion (Build the America you want to live in at your address, and keep looking up.-Sarah Palin)
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To: mnehring

But Pope Francis is a ROMAN Catholic; and is in the Chair of PETER in ROME; and his parents were Italian: doesn’t that count as fulfilling a vague prophecy?


49 posted on 03/26/2013 11:38:02 AM PDT by ApplegateRanch (Love me, love my guns!©)
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To: OpusatFR
You know you can’t let your relatives live under bridges.

Tin shacks in Kenya, and public housing in Boston, OTOH...

50 posted on 03/26/2013 11:42:03 AM PDT by ApplegateRanch (Love me, love my guns!©)
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To: dangus
Not from Italy, he isn't even from Europe. Still, it makes for a fun article. Totally wonky, but fun. Wonky as in odd and not internally consistent.
51 posted on 03/26/2013 11:44:38 AM PDT by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
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To: redgolum

I’m glad, because it was meant to be satirical.


52 posted on 03/26/2013 12:01:12 PM PDT by dangus (Poverty cannot be eradicated as long as the poor remain dependent on the state - Pope Francis)
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To: Alex Murphy
Only half?

Alex, you've been around here long enough to know that some contibutors here, to put it mildly, rather lag.

Not exactly window-licker lag, but you get my drift...<8^')

53 posted on 03/26/2013 12:56:44 PM PDT by BlueDragon (the beatings will continue until morale improves)
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To: OpusatFR

At least they'd have a roof over their heads.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen...

I'm all out of drachma. Anybody know any good
bridges a guy could camp under for a while?

54 posted on 03/26/2013 1:08:15 PM PDT by BlueDragon (the beatings will continue until morale improves)
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To: OpusatFR

Exactly.


55 posted on 03/26/2013 2:54:48 PM PDT by kabumpo (Kabumpo)
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To: kabumpo

James Michner’s novel on Michelangelo, The Agony and the Ecstasy.

~The Florentine taunt, SPQR, Sonas Porcini Questa Romani.

(or something to that effect!)


56 posted on 03/26/2013 3:19:24 PM PDT by OpusatFR
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To: dangus
I’m glad, because it was meant to be satirical.

An astonishingly elaborate satire, Even Pope Francis is in on it

Pope Francis to live in Vatican guesthouse, not papal apartments

57 posted on 03/26/2013 4:01:12 PM PDT by Oztrich Boy (I think, therefore I am what I yam, and that's all I yam - "Popeye" Descartes)
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To: dangus; BrandtMichaels
[BrandtMichaels:] The Bible clearly states one can know the signs and the season of the end times

Actually, it says PRECISELY THE OPPOSITE:

No, it doesn't. It says that those in darkness won't see it coming. Those that are of the light will know:

1Th 5:1 But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you.
1Th 5:2 For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.
1Th 5:3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.
1Th 5:4 But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief.
1Th 5:5 Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.
1Th 5:6 Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober.

(e-sword:KJV)

The times and seasons are the Holy Days of Yahweh, and one of them is known as 'the day that no man knoweth.'

It is unfortunate that one came who had the hubris to think to change the Holy Days - That is why those in darkness will not know... And the Holy Days did *not* change, as those who sought to change them did not have authority to do so.

58 posted on 03/26/2013 4:46:13 PM PDT by roamer_1 (Globalism is just socialism in a business suit.)
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To: BlueDragon; Alex Murphy
Not exactly window-licker lag, but you get my drift...

You forget that some can't even lick the window... hard to do with a helmet on. : P

59 posted on 03/26/2013 4:48:58 PM PDT by roamer_1 (Globalism is just socialism in a business suit.)
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To: roamer_1

>> But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief. <<

That does not say that they shall know the time. If it did, it would contradict directly the words of Jesus, who said you will not know the day nor the hour. It only means that they will be prepared, because they will remain always vigilant.


60 posted on 03/26/2013 4:58:04 PM PDT by dangus (Poverty cannot be eradicated as long as the poor remain dependent on the state - Pope Francis)
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