People have listened to John Kerry take two positions on every issue, and they liked at least one of them. "Sounds good to me," they said. And then they voted.
Posted on 10/25/2004 4:07:05 AM PDT by Core_Conservative
Don't worry about the election folks, we're in the hands of the voting public. Comforting to live in an age of "one idiot, one vote".
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
And then she voted.
I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week". He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end th e call quickly, I said, "Uh.. Pacific."
And then he voted.
So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
And then she voted.
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the passenger side door's map pocket.
And then she voted.
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
And then they all voted.
I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
And then she voted.
My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?" To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think they tax the turkey."
And then he voted.
My wife and I were trying to find a carry-on suitcase in one of those huge discount stores and had become hopelessly lost. We stopped and asked a department manager where we might find suitcases. "Did you try in Luggage?" he asked, and returned to what he was doing.
And then he voted.
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," She asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
And then she voted
Bill Engvall would say "here's your sign".
There really oughta be a poll test.
People have listened to John Kerry take two positions on every issue, and they liked at least one of them. "Sounds good to me," they said. And then they voted.
It was that day that I lost faith in the American electorate.
I had a lady from Maryland in my nursery-garden center ask one of my salesmen, "which end do I plant; the green end or the brown end?"
I just know she's gonna vote, too. She had a Kerry-Edwards sticker on her car.
Should have gone back for another 10 cases of beer and got the 100% discount
I have lived and worked in the most remote northern places where man has dared to try live, and I can tell you without doubt that the sun does indeed rise in the north. The trouble is that it doesn't want to set at certain times of the year...
According to John Kerry, the only ones who should vote for who runs the Nation is all the other countries, after all, it's only their "global test" which should determine the actions of the USA and it's citizens
Thanks for the first-thing-after-my-coffee-in-the-morning chuckle!
The source for this was the Scott Adams / Dilbert email newsletter from about a month ago. I deleted it, so unfortunately I can't give any more info than that.
Funny!! Sean Hannity had a "man on the street" interview recently in ???? New York I think.. he asked the poor kid if he was going to vote for the reelection of the pres or something and he said no way. Then he couldn't even come up with his name. When Mr. Hannity pressed him about it, he said Kearney, I'm voting for Kearney (he pronounced it Kerney), then said he thought his first name was Jim. He was NOT voting for Bush no way no how, but for Jim Kearney. Hilarious
So, what happens if I've sold my house and I'm looking for a new one? Ineligible to vote?
What if I just don't WANT to own a home or land - let's say I've got all my money tied up in my business and rent a place? Ineligible to vote?
It is amazing how those who wish "others" were excluded from voting fail to see how easy it is to find flaws in their "standard" for voting or poke holes in their anecdotal game.
Some guy says we should smuggle a bunch of little US flags into Iraq so the populace can wave them when our troops come rolling through town in a shower of flower petals. Then he voted.
I agree, and I didn't want to imply that everyone was going to vote without knowing the issues, but you have to assume that the majority would just check a box.
So.... What do you have against the military voting?????
They are considered "government employees" after all.
Or for that matter, how about the millions of civilians currently working for the Department of Defense supporting our military??????? I think you would be surprised how many of them are consecutive Republicans.
But then again, you don't want any government employees voting. Guess you want sKerry elected.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.