George Carlin on Katrina (funny)

email going around

[Uncledave]

Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about the bullshit going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that..Get the hell out.

Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.

(Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave!

(It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

George Carlin

[jdm]

Snopes is saying (as of now) it was written by a blues guitarist from NO. Still being researched......

http://www.snopes.com/katrina/soapbox/boudreaux.asp

[1rudeboy]

I'll wager that George will morph into Ted over the next few days.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Carlin is way to big a Lefty to suggest people should work for a living.

[dfwgator]

I wouldn't say Carlin is necessarily a Lib, he blasts them as much as conservatives. But lately Carlin has had a lot of vitriol for religion in general. He has turned into a bitter old man. His wife died a few years back and I think that's really when he got dark.

[CHICAGOFARMER]

This is a better rant.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


George Bush speech yesterday on Katrina (funny)
email going around


Posted on 10/07/2005 8:16:59 AM CDT by Uncledave


Been sitting here, wanting to speak out about the bullshit going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that..Get the hell out.

Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.

(Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave!

(It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant

[fizziwig]

No way this is Carlin.

[cloud8]

> Ted Nugent/Dennis Miller/Andy Rooney

It does sound like Dennis Miller. Andy Rooney, to put kindly, has been showing his age lately. I have never heard a Ted Nugent rant.

But I think the point was to put it into the mouth of a lib so they would read it.

[PMCarey]

I thought Ted Nugent said this!!!!

Wrong again. It's something Churchill said to Lady Astor.

[Musket]

Not Carlin, but some good common sense none the less. I expect these to start coming into my mailbox any moment....

[Piquaboy]

Andy Rooney is so senile he could not pour pee out of a boot with the directions on the heel.

[Joe 6-pack]

Carlin is one of those atheists who expend an inordinate amount of time and energy being angry at an entity he purports not to believe in....

[Uncledave]

Oops - I've been duped. Looks like not Carlin. Sorry.

http://www.snopes.com/katrina/soapbox/boudreaux.asp

[#1CTYankee]

George Carlin? Not Hardly

From Wired News

http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,34248,00.html

[avg_freeper]

"I'll wager that George will morph into Ted over the next few days."

Absolutely, I've always figured that there's an Anonymous Quote Attribution Machine somewhere out there in cyber space pumping these things out.

The AQAM has a circular queue with George, Ted, Dennis, Andy, and Robin and just cycles through it on a month to month basis.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

I wouldn't say Carlin is necessarily a Lib, he blasts them as much as conservatives.

Nah...not even close these days.

He can be funny, however. (Or at least used to be.)

[southernnorthcarolina]

As numerous FReepers have pretty well established, this wasn't by George Carlin. But I can't help but wonder how the late comedian Sam Kinison would have treated the story.

I remember Kinison on the subject of drought and starvation in Somalia, where the U.S. and other countries dispatched millions of dollars of aid. Kinison's screamed (as was his wont) advice to the citizens of Somalia, numerous obscenities and blasphemies removed, went something like this: "YOU @&%#@&%!!! YOU'RE LIVING IN A %$#&ING DESERT!!! MOVE!!! GO WHERE THE %$#&ING FOOD IS!!!"

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

I thought George Carlin ODed about 20 years ago.

[digger48]

This is one I got. Doesn't exactly sound like the guy on Bill Maher a few weeks back.....

YES, I AM A BAD AMERICAN.







YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN



by: George Carlin



I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!



I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.



I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.



I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.



I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.



I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.



My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.



I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.



I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.



I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?



I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.



I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?



I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.



I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.



And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.



I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.



I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.



And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?



If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.



If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.



We need our country back!




ot....

[dfwgator]

Yep it's true that Carlin has a lot more vitriol for religious conservatives these days, but he used to rip into environmentalist whackos pretty good.

[Uncledave]

Reports are that "Bad American" is not Carlin:

http://truthminers.com/hoaxarticles/carlin.htm