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This Coffee Tastes like ....t (Real Coffee Humor)
Tastesofthe World ^ | TastesoftheWorld

Posted on 12/09/2005 2:30:19 PM PST by StoneWallJack

Rare Kopi Luwak Gourmet Coffee $175.00 per pound

The Palm Civet or marsupial luwak of Indonesia a tree climbing animal that ranges in weight from three to ten pounds uses it’s sense of smell and eyesight to seek out it’s favorite treat the ripest coffee cherries. The Palm Civet or Luwak passes the cherry through the digestive track where the beans exit the animal basically intact. The beans are then patiently harvested from the forest floor near coffee plantations carefully cleaned and roasted.

The beans are usually given a light to dark roast to avoid destruction of the complex flavors which have developed through the process. This “unique processing” is said to give the resulting coffee a rich, heavy flavor with some hints of caramel or chocolate. Some other words used to describe this cup of joe by those fortunate enough to try it have been earthy, musty and exotic with syrupy body and smooth flavor.

The University of Guelph did a study in which they examined the chemical and physical properties of the Kopi Luwak coffee bean and compared them to that of a “regular” coffee bean. Their results are quite interesting. They found the unroasted Kopi Luwak coffee beans had more red and yellow tones than a Columbian coffee bean. They also found the Kopi Luwak gourmet coffee bean to have less total protein, less bacterial count, some pitting on the surface of the coffee bean and different compounds. This may explain why the Kopi Luwak coffee is said to be less bitter and have a different aroma than other gourmet coffee.

Although this gourmet coffee’s exact date of discovery is not known. The strange origins of this rare gourmet coffee make it labor-intensive and time-consuming to produce. Gourmet coffee lovers are willing to pay a premium for this rare and exotic blend and consider it worth the effort and trouble involved. Here is your chance to be among the few who have tried Kopi Luwak coffee. We have been able to secure a small quantity of Kopi Luwak coffee at a substantial discount and once sold out we do not know when we will be able to procure more.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: coffee; iddrinkit; luwakbehindcoffee
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To: doug from upland

"That sounds reasonable. Are you an historian? :)"


Yeah, right! :o)


51 posted on 12/09/2005 4:20:57 PM PST by HighWheeler ("The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men." Plato)
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To: Hardastarboard
If you like the actual taste of coffee, and order it black,....You can't get a good cup of black coffee at SB.

That's the reason, then.

52 posted on 12/09/2005 4:23:15 PM PST by digger48
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To: StoneWallJack
and I thought that Chicory was bad!


Den you ain't nevah had chic'ry! AAAIIIIEEEEE!!!
(I order the stuff by the case.)

53 posted on 12/09/2005 4:37:14 PM PST by uglybiker (nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BAT MAN!!)
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To: StoneWallJack

For less than the price of one pound of this '`monkey crap' coffee beans, you can buy a reverse osmosis water system and use any coffee and it rivals the best beans. IMO the water is a big part of how good your coffee tastes. I also have a vacuum food saver and keep my coffee under a vacuum.


54 posted on 12/09/2005 4:38:24 PM PST by RetSignman
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To: StoneWallJack

Some years ago, an unruly United Airlines passenger relieved himself on the beverage cart. This story sheds new light...perhaps he was just trying the old civet trick for improving UA's coffee.


55 posted on 12/09/2005 4:43:05 PM PST by DancesWithBolsheviks (No controlling legal authority.)
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To: RetSignman

"Monkey crap coffee"

I can't say that with a straight face!


56 posted on 12/09/2005 4:45:18 PM PST by StoneWallJack
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To: humblegunner; Darksheare; Eaker
"I patiently sifted through Palm Civet poo to produce fine beverage."

I've never been that desparate myself. Of course, I don't drink coffee. :)

57 posted on 12/09/2005 4:56:07 PM PST by DJ MacWoW (If you think you know what's coming next....You don't know Jack.)
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To: Oorang
You can do a Google search on home coffee roasting, or green coffee beans and get lots of sites. I personally have settled on www.sweetmarias.com. I bought my home roaster there (the Fresh Cup roaster) and I buy my beans through them. I really like the wealth of information on their site and the fact that their buyer personally travels to a lot of the countries he buys from in order to cup the lots before he buys them. His notes on each variety are very educational, and his roasting notes are extremely helpful.

I got my brother into home roasting last year and he has since got several other people started, and I think I may have "started something" with a few friends from church. I've been home roasting for about 3 years now, and I love it.

58 posted on 12/09/2005 4:58:19 PM PST by Pablo64 ("Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinion.")
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To: DJ MacWoW; humblegunner; Eaker

I for one don't wanna know how the stuff tastes...
*chuckle*


59 posted on 12/09/2005 5:00:08 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: Pablo64

Thanks for the info Pablo64. I searched and did find some sites, but your recommendation is most helpful.


60 posted on 12/09/2005 5:08:45 PM PST by Oorang (We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.)
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To: Darksheare

What a thread. I will stick with MH instant, thanks.


61 posted on 12/09/2005 5:09:33 PM PST by patton ("Hard Drive Cemetary" - forthcoming best seller)
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To: Darksheare; DJ MacWoW; humblegunner

I have made your coffee once.

I also answered an ad for a free rattle snake bite once too.

I am out for a while.

We are going to a wedding tonight.

(Not FReeper related)

I used to hate to go to weddings when I was young.

The old Grammas & Aunts would pinch my cheek and tell me, "You're next."

I got them to quit doing that by saying the same thing to them at funerals.

See y'all later.


62 posted on 12/09/2005 5:11:04 PM PST by Eaker (My Wife Rocks! - I will never take Dix or El Roy off of my ping list.)
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To: patton

See post #62 ole buddy!


63 posted on 12/09/2005 5:11:38 PM PST by Eaker (My Wife Rocks! - I will never take Dix or El Roy off of my ping list.)
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To: patton

Welcome!

*sigh*

;-)


64 posted on 12/09/2005 5:12:40 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: Oorang

You're most welcome. If you decide to try it yourself, let me know how you like it. Also, one correction I need to make: the brand of roaster I have is the Fresh Roast, not the Fresh Cup as I had posted (Fresh Cup is the name of the trade magazine I get).


65 posted on 12/09/2005 5:12:46 PM PST by Pablo64 ("Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinion.")
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To: Eaker; DJ MacWoW; humblegunner

LOL!!!
Good luck, safe travels.

You also said my coffee wasn't bad... when it had cutting fluid.
(And wasn't being given to the local deer population..)
;-)


66 posted on 12/09/2005 5:14:00 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: Eaker
I got them to quit doing that by saying the same thing to them at funerals.

The longer I know you the more I respect you.

67 posted on 12/09/2005 5:14:46 PM PST by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: RTINSC

I have to respectfully disagree. The best coffee comes from the C4E household, especially when Mr. C4E brews it prior to my rising in the A.M., so I have it ready, hot and strong. Add cream and honey and it is ambrosia for the gods.


68 posted on 12/09/2005 5:15:01 PM PST by Conservative4Ever (Dear Santa, ......I can explain....)
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To: Eaker

lololol


69 posted on 12/09/2005 5:15:32 PM PST by patton ("Hard Drive Cemetary" - forthcoming best seller)
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To: taxcontrol
Folks, a little secret here. Want to improve your pot of coffee, add a pinch of baking soda to the grounds before brewing. Not much, about a 1/4 teaspoon for my Mr Coffee maker. It helps neutralize the natural acid in the coffee and makes a "smoother" joe.

When I do that with baking soda, I grind the beans finer, also use about 25% more beans, and the very slightest pinch of salt. The lack of bite from "standup the spoon thick" coffee is taken away by the baking soda, allows a far stronger coffee. Using water with chlorine in it puts bitterness back in. Folgers red bag at the Navy commissary is the best bang-for-the-buck. Seattle's best is not much better, IMHO.

70 posted on 12/09/2005 5:18:01 PM PST by USCG SimTech (Honored to serve since '71)
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To: Darksheare
You also said my coffee wasn't bad... when it had cutting fluid.
(And wasn't being given to the local deer population..)

I still have the scars. Those deer can go drink ditchwater from now on.

My license has no tags for "Charging Lunatic Deer, Antlerless or not."

71 posted on 12/09/2005 5:18:37 PM PST by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: StoneWallJack


I've been pretty drunk, I've been pretty stupid in my youth, I've done things on a dare in College I wouldn't do now except for some Bill Gates money. Never, not once did I think " Where can I get some of coffee that came out of a cat's ass?"



72 posted on 12/09/2005 5:20:16 PM PST by Malsua
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To: RTINSC
"Arabica beans make the best coffee "

And most grocery storres sell Melita brand coffee which is 100% arabica.

For half the price of Starbucks or the other fancy brands.

73 posted on 12/09/2005 5:21:49 PM PST by mrsmith
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To: humblegunner

Ouch.
Did you guys eventually get revenge on that one?


74 posted on 12/09/2005 5:26:22 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: Darksheare
Did you guys eventually get revenge on that one?

You spelled "sausage" wrong! ;-)

75 posted on 12/09/2005 5:28:49 PM PST by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: Darksheare
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
76 posted on 12/09/2005 5:29:42 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: humblegunner

LOL!
Excellent!


77 posted on 12/09/2005 5:30:32 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: Conservative4Ever

I like my coffee sweet and blond, especially when prepared by my hot, sweet and blond honey, Ambrosia..


78 posted on 12/09/2005 5:30:51 PM PST by RTINSC (Being Offended is the Natural Consequence of Leaving Your Home...)
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To: martin_fierro

There is something wrong there.
*chuckle*


79 posted on 12/09/2005 5:30:59 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: Darksheare


To anyone of you guys. I got a Zach & Dani's roaster for Christmas last year and it works pretty good but is beginning to make funny noises now. Who can give me info on a good replacement roaster, if need be.


80 posted on 12/09/2005 5:39:09 PM PST by Perfesser
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To: Perfesser

Offhand, I dunno.

Could it need to be cleaned at all?
The percolator I have tends to make noise and slow down when it needs thorough cleaning.


81 posted on 12/09/2005 5:43:32 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: listenhillary

"http://turbocrazy.atspace.com/"

Thanks for that!


82 posted on 12/09/2005 5:44:49 PM PST by PetroniusMaximus
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To: mrsmith

Pour some Melita coffee beans on a table next to Starbuck beans. See the difference? It is the oil content and the roasting of the beans that makes the difference. Starbucks has mastered the roasting of the beans. Make a pot of Starbucks and a pot of Melita. Taste the difference? Starbucks is rich in flavor. Melita makes you want to vomit.


83 posted on 12/09/2005 5:45:56 PM PST by RTINSC (Being Offended is the Natural Consequence of Leaving Your Home...)
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To: Perfesser; snippy_about_it; SAMWolf

Sam, snippy, you're pretty serious about your coffee, anything helpful for Perfesser?
(Post 80)


84 posted on 12/09/2005 5:47:27 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: StoneWallJack
I love good coffee and I'm not adverse to paying more for good coffee. However, I'm not a coffee 'snob' as I don't turn up my nose at good old fashioned Folger's.

I had read about people who rave about what a wonderful coffee Jamaica Blue Mountain is so I ordered a 1/2 lb to try it. We drank that and I ordered another 1/2 lb several months later to see if the first batch might have been stale or something. Neither one of us was all that impressed with the Jamaica Blue. On the other hand we really enjoy Kona. It tastes exactly what I think a great cup of coffee should taste like.

Another coffee we have found and like is Indian Malabar. From what I understand it's a seasonal coffee. It has half the caffeine naturally than a regular cup of coffee. Normally when the coffee connoisseurs talk about a coffee having hints of a complex chocolate (or other flavor) flavor, I can't taste what they're talking about. With the Indian Malabar one of the things said about it is there is a hint of a honey taste and I can actually taste a bit of a honey taste. It's not an overpowering hint either. It just makes it a good coffee. We also like a coffee called Papua New Guinea. It's a smooth coffee with a very small bit of sweetness. I normally put cream and sugar in my coffee and with the Papua I have to cut down on the sugar I use or it makes it too sweet. (Yes, I know...it's sacrilege to use cream and sugar. Too bad! Deal with it. <---directed at any of the coffee snobs.)

I have absolutely no desire to try the coffee the article is referencing. I'm perfectly happy with the one's I've found and already like. So, somebody else can have my share.
85 posted on 12/09/2005 5:49:03 PM PST by Sally'sConcerns (Native Texan, now in SW Ok..)
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To: martin_fierro
Okay. Since nobody else will ask I guess I'm gonna have to.

Who's a$$ did those beans come out of?

86 posted on 12/09/2005 6:00:03 PM PST by uglybiker (nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BAT MAN!!)
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To: Darksheare

Thanks.........My dear departed younger brother loved his coffee. Somewhat of a snob about it, actually. I told him that he was not a conniseur? because he demanded it be the same all the time. I said a conniseur would drink whatever was available. Only then could he learn the difference between the good and the bad. He was the only one who could drink it his way. You could dilute it with half water and still have a very strong cup of coffee. Anyway, I do try to improve the enjoyment of coffee when I can. It is cheaper to buy it green and roast it.

I sure he was still here to argue with about it.


87 posted on 12/09/2005 6:02:12 PM PST by Perfesser
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To: RTINSC
Starbucks is for insecure suckers.

When I want something better than everyday Melita- a mild roast just the way I like it- for special occasions, I go to the local coffee co.

It's not only cheaper and better coffee, they're good people.

88 posted on 12/09/2005 6:03:20 PM PST by mrsmith
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To: Perfesser


I sure WISH he were here to argue with about it.


89 posted on 12/09/2005 6:04:36 PM PST by Perfesser
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To: Perfesser

Welcome.
LOL, sounds like he liked the stuff the way I make it.
Haven't roasted the stuff personally.
I have run across some stuff that was pretty anemic though.


90 posted on 12/09/2005 6:05:32 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: Perfesser

I understand that.


91 posted on 12/09/2005 6:06:43 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: mrsmith

"Starbucks is for insecure suckers."


Lots of good people drink Starbucks. You appear to have issues other than coffee quality or individual preference..


92 posted on 12/09/2005 6:08:26 PM PST by RTINSC (Being Offended is the Natural Consequence of Leaving Your Home...)
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To: PetroniusMaximus; Pablo64
Tell me more ...

I'm too lazy, but here's the place to go: Sweet Maria's - it's where I've been buying my green beans to roast at home for about 6 years.

I haven't bought coffee in a (bleh!) can in 30 years, and haven't bought roasted whole beans in 5. Starbucks is simply poor coffee, marked way up.

Do your own; as with most homegrown chemistry, it's better.

93 posted on 12/09/2005 6:08:35 PM PST by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: RTINSC
Lots of good people drink Starbucks.

Actually, lots of people drink sugery, milky, chococoffee-flavored overpriced froofroo drinks at Starbucks.

Try going in there and ordering just a plain black coffee. It's awful.

94 posted on 12/09/2005 6:10:33 PM PST by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: Darksheare


He took his coffee maker with him when he traveled so his wife could set it up anywhere and make him a cup. He wasn't aware of the roasting your own possibilities, but did buy the whole beans and grind them. He bought me a coffee mug once for $9.00. He fancied himself a high roller. I thought he was nuts. I may drink tanzanian peaberry or huehuetanango from quatemala but I also drink Folger's when I have to. Caffiene is our friend.


95 posted on 12/09/2005 6:13:52 PM PST by Perfesser
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To: StoneWallJack

Starbucks brewed coffee is rank, imo. An ordinary coffee vending machine is better. I say this in all sincerity.

Starbucks lattes and tazo drinks are very good.


96 posted on 12/09/2005 6:13:59 PM PST by Tax Government (Support the Ann Coulter Act of 2006. No free speech at colleges ==> no fed funds.)
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To: Hank Rearden


Thank you every much, and I love your handle.


97 posted on 12/09/2005 6:16:00 PM PST by Perfesser
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To: Hank Rearden

So, are you saying that Starbucks makes bad coffee because people are buying froofroo coffee drinks at their stores? If it's awful, why are you frequenting Starbucks stores?


98 posted on 12/09/2005 6:17:00 PM PST by RTINSC (Being Offended is the Natural Consequence of Leaving Your Home...)
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To: Perfesser

Caffiene, a gift from above for those of us who need an extra kick.
;-)

My mug is older than I am, and my spoon is an American Airlines stainless...
*chuckle*

Yes, I am very picky about who touches my mug and spoon.
(Not too picky about my coffee grind or roast, only so long as it isn't anemic.)


99 posted on 12/09/2005 6:20:48 PM PST by Darksheare (Bonafide Henchman.)
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To: Hardastarboard
Starbucks couldn't pay me to drink their coffee.
Use no sugar or cream in my coffee. Want my sugar on my oatmeal and my milk in a glass. Feel the same about bourbon steak. Want my steak medium well with steak sauce and my bourbon in a glass please.
100 posted on 12/09/2005 6:21:45 PM PST by jerry639
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