Posted on 04/18/2008 7:38:55 AM PDT by Gopher Broke
The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear ' the rules' From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... These are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
If you watch the Lifetime Channel enough, you'd think all men go around walloping the ladies. It's sad, really.
AMEN!!
I married my wife for many of the same reasons. Some of the stuff on the list applies to her...but not all of it. And the bits that do, she keeps tucked away enough in her back pocket and only pulls them out infrequently enough so that I really don't care.
BUT, I will say that I pick my battles. For instance, I have absolutely no concept of how she can stomach watching hours and hours of reality TV. But, if she likes it, and doesn't make me watch (we settled that early on in our marriage....) so be it. Ain't worth the hassle of arguing over.
She probably says the same thing about me and hockey. Or yardwork. Or whatever.
I have enough real drama in my life, I don't need to go looking for the manufactured, prepackaged kind.
Yep, it was!
And the woman presiding/selling was the local Baptist Church organist. She said the preacher knew what she was doing and approved because it helped keep marriages together.
Most of the women were married. And erm, ah....actually, by the end of the evening, I felt like the prissiest one there.
The saleslady made out like bandit and....
Let me just say there were probably a dozen happy husbands the next day :)
Actually, they’re rechargable at the outlet now.
mrs. envisio will set and watch Law&Order. I have a choice to set and watch it with her or go do something else. I do not expect her to whine if I am setting watch American Chopper.
(thats just an example because she actually likes that show)
She can get up or watch TV in another room, if she likes.
...and there is no hints and pouting and soforth. If she don’t like something, she comes out and tells me, as I do to her.
Why is it that the Free Republic harpies come descending on every gender-related post, regardless of how innocuous? This is a humorous post. It will not “get ugly” except in the sense of your anti-male sensibilities. Please spare us your eye-rolling and general sense of female superiority; your antics are reminiscent of schoolgirls deciding who is and is not “mature”. Perhaps a feminist website would be more to your liking.
>>>If you watch the Lifetime Channel enough, you’d think all men go around walloping the ladies<<<<
If you watch enough of anything, especially sitcoms and commericials (Lowes commercials in particular), you’d think men are subserviant, bumbling, 12 year old idiots.
I am not a Harpie, read my other posts.
Slow your roll there sparky....these women are saying they are not like that, that their men don’t need this list.
Talking to me or not, you and the other old aunt types on here need to find something better to do than cluck like old hens at every post you find disagreeable. Go ride your vaunted bike or something.
True enough!
All women say “they are not like that”, pal!
Lets just say it was like being in room full of male Gummy bear parts. And then there was this ring toss game wthi prizes. And things being passed around and comments like “now WHAT do you do with this?”
All led by this sweet faced sweetie pie.
See Jerseys and Envisios posts.
We love men, really. And for the most part, we aren’t like the list— no more than you guys are like my list ;)
Ever since I was a Boy Sprout I've believed in having good maps. My spouse does too now and so do our grown daughters. With good maps you don't need to ask for di8rections and you can enjoy all sorts of side trips that even the locals won't tell you about. With a Gazetteer I found a great way to bypass Denver and that horrendous toll road.
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