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BCS Declares Germany to be the Winner of WWII
The Volokh Conspiracy ^ | January 13, 2009 at 6:11am | Paul Cassell

Posted on 01/13/2009 12:08:19 PM PST by HaplessToad

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

* * *

Perhaps I'm biased as a Utah partisan, but seems about right to me ....


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: bcs; humor; wwii
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1 posted on 01/13/2009 12:08:20 PM PST by HaplessToad
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To: HaplessToad

What? What is the BCS?


2 posted on 01/13/2009 12:14:17 PM PST by Cheesel (The Ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by professionals.)
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To: Cheesel

I can’t believe that there is anyone here that knows less about college football than me!


3 posted on 01/13/2009 12:17:25 PM PST by HaplessToad
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To: HaplessToad

Tell that to Hitler.


4 posted on 01/13/2009 12:18:52 PM PST by texas_mrs
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To: HaplessToad

LOL this is hilarious.

Even worse is some NFL commentators want a BCS system in place because the Cards made the playoffs while the Pats are left in the cold.


5 posted on 01/13/2009 12:18:58 PM PST by Unlikely Hero ("Time is a wonderful teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its pupils." --Berlioz)
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To: HaplessToad
Perhaps I'm biased as a Utah partisan, but seems about right to me ....

I suspect Mountain West conference teams have to go undefeated for at least 2 or 3 consecutive seasons to have a chance at even being considered for a national title. It's just the way it is in far and away worst system in major sports, pro or college. NCAA football could be great (by integrating the major Bowls into an 8-team playoff system -- not a particularly difficult task), but as it stands they're both a laughing stock and a source of endless frustration.

6 posted on 01/13/2009 12:19:18 PM PST by Mr. Mojo
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To: HaplessToad

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said “...we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.”

More proof a playoff system is badly needed.


7 posted on 01/13/2009 12:21:03 PM PST by Rennes Templar (The Messiah and the Religion of Fleece)
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To: Mr. Mojo
Don't despair THE ONE will fix it.........
8 posted on 01/13/2009 12:21:21 PM PST by Osage Orange (The MSM / DBM...is THE most dangerous entity in the WORLD!!!)
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To: HaplessToad

I’ve seen this before. It isn’t new.


9 posted on 01/13/2009 12:21:53 PM PST by MahatmaGandu (Remember, remember, the twenty-sixth of November.)
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To: HaplessToad

The BCS is not perfect and I sort of understand Utah’s claim. Still I think Florida probably is the best team in the country. If not Florida, then it is probably Texas.


10 posted on 01/13/2009 12:23:01 PM PST by yarddog
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To: HaplessToad
The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

WTH? "Single, equally-weighted 'event?' " Too bad that computer wasn't at the "single, equally-weighted event" of Stalingrad the winter of '42-'43. Those ~2, 000,000 casualties could have used this information to figure out who really won the seige/battle single, equally-weighted event. (/sarc) Idiots.

11 posted on 01/13/2009 12:23:53 PM PST by shoutingandpointing (Just say, "nn-nn-NO!" to Campbell's soup.)
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To: Osage Orange

I know. ...after he brings peace to the Middle East and prosperity to all Earthlings. Can’t wait.


12 posted on 01/13/2009 12:24:15 PM PST by Mr. Mojo
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To: HaplessToad

Already posted here: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2144063/posts


13 posted on 01/13/2009 12:24:53 PM PST by Doohickey (The more cynical you become, the better off you'll be.)
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To: HaplessToad

I think the BCS system is obviously the best way to go.

Signed, The ‘69 Orioles


14 posted on 01/13/2009 12:27:00 PM PST by Hatteras
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To: Mr. Mojo
The funny thing is.....this might be the only thing he could legitimately take some small credit for.

IF, it happens....LOL!!

15 posted on 01/13/2009 12:27:57 PM PST by Osage Orange (The MSM / DBM...is THE most dangerous entity in the WORLD!!!)
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To: HaplessToad

I’ll vote for the BCS system.

Signed, The 1980 Russian Hockey Team


16 posted on 01/13/2009 12:29:32 PM PST by Hatteras
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To: HaplessToad

Thankfully the US was in a league of it’s own.


17 posted on 01/13/2009 12:29:48 PM PST by usmcobra (Your chances of dying in bed are reduced by getting out of it, but most people still die in bed)
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To: Unlikely Hero
Even worse is some NFL commentators want a BCS system in place because the Cards made the playoffs while the Pats are left in the cold.

Here's a tip, Don't use a video camera to win games.

18 posted on 01/13/2009 12:30:16 PM PST by MetalHeadConservative35 (My country right or wrong,To support her when right,To right her when wrong - Stocksthatgoup)
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To: Hatteras

Or the 2001 Mariners.


19 posted on 01/13/2009 12:30:39 PM PST by Mr. Mojo
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To: HaplessToad

Well knowing how accuratley computer climate models predict global warming, then I guess if the computer says Germany won World War II then by all means..> Ich bin ein Berliner


20 posted on 01/13/2009 12:31:58 PM PST by qam1 (There's been a huge party. All plates and the bottles are empty, all that's left is the bill to pay)
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