In Positive Economic Sign, Walmart Customers Killing Each Other to Buy ----

Borowitz Report ^ | November 25, 2011 | Andy Borowitz

[EveningStar]

In what economists are hailing as a clear sign of economic recovery, Walmart customers across the USA jammed into stores on Black Friday, sometimes killing each other to buy useless ----.

[hinckley buzzard]

heh heh. Maybe they were on to something.

[Jack Hammer]

“In what economists are hailing as a clear sign of economic recovery...”

Quite the opposite, in fact.

If there were an economic “recovery” in progress, shoppers wouldn’t be so insanely desperate to knock each other down in pursuit of overstock merchandise.

[familyop]

"Mr. Logsdon advised Americans not to enter a Walmart unarmed. “If you want to get your hands on a doorbuster, you’d better have a firearm,” he said."

[Revolting cat!]

“Egyptians risk their lives for new government,” he said. “Americans bravely do the same for new flat screens.”

[Free Vulcan]

Gives a whole new meaning to ‘green shoots’.

[popdonnelly]

Um, nobody was killed as far as I know. That usually happens with drug sales.

[the invisib1e hand]

Get used to it. Everything is made in China these days. Apple Computer=100% made in China Walmart=80% imported from China. Who is hated more?

ummmm let me see... information technology that revolutionized the civilization or schlocky white trash outings?

I'll take Apple, thx.

[the invisib1e hand]

Haven’t seen a stampede at an Apple store yet, knock on wood.

[Revolting cat!]

No discounts in Apple stores, and $5 discounts on Apple products elsewhere.

[Revolting cat!]

Did you see the videos on the news programs? It’s not just the usual Amish. Shameful!

[the invisib1e hand]

No discounts in Apple stores, and $5 discounts on Apple products elsewhere.

Keeps the riff raff out. I'd gladly pay the extra fin for the service I get there.

[Astronaut]

Oh, I do support it. I am a capitalist. The free market has decided that it should cater to idiots who want to camp out in front of Best Buy. Its just a shame that America is populated by so many idiots these days, and that people are that gullible and easily manipulated. But I suppose that explains Obama’s ascension to the presidency...