Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"
So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.
The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,
"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"
The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"
To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.
Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!
The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.
So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.
If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.
Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?
I DON'T CARE!!
Doesn't have the same appeals as the women I guess. Since I live 8 blocks from the stadium, I've actually gone to the Columbia Swizterland game for the men a few years back, and the womens US v brazil.
You don't seem to understand America -- kids don't play soccer because they love it, they play soccer because their parents want them to play it. And their parents want them to play it because they (the parents) don't understand the game enough to know when the kids aren't playing well.
This is precisely why the kids stop playing as soon as they outgrow their parents.
Defensive backs can only play one side of the field, while soccer players have to play both. Not to mention, the former gets breaks in between. It's a stupid argument, because both tend to be supurb athletes. But defensive backs get winded as well. And some can't even tackle well, including one of the best defensive backs of all time. And defensive backs have been known to flail at times, especially when they are trying to draw a pass interference call....
Hockey is king in Michigan. GO WINGS!
LOL!!! He's taken more dives than any soccer player!
How dare you slander a fine Son-of-the-South by even daring to compare him to some unamerican "futbul" player.
That sack he gave to Strahan was selfless charity work.
:-)
The first time I watched a World Cup Game I saw some star player (Belladona?) take a small hit and go down like he stepped on a land mine.
Would be Vlad Divac to shame.
That statement is correct only if you exclude Brett Favre.
You ever see Joe Kapp play quarterback? He used to go looking for people to smack.
So there was a golden opportunity to pick up points and the captain chose to not to take it, because he said he 'was tired' not immobilised by his foot.
In the NFL he would have been thrown back on the field and asked if Becks was joking for saying he was tired in the World Cup.
But I used to enjoy running down the field kicking the ball. I also played the goalie position a lot in elementary school, and it was fun. If you like to play it, that's fine.
But we Americans would lose our distinctivness (and sanity) if we became the same as the bland Europeans and the poor third-world countries that like to watch soccer. But certainly it's not just soccer that makes them bland, it's socialism, homo faggot promotion, and weird sounding pop music. (I watched some of the Internationl Music Awards)
I'll one-up that. The EARLY UFC's, especially 1-10. Ken Shamrock would kick all their asses!!!!!
LOL!
I set the bar at 'a slice of buttered toast', not 'geniuses', now didn't I?
The mere fact that they can suit up correctly puts them ahead of Soccer's best...
I once got into a conversation with a guy who claimed that hockey players weren't good athletes because they changed lines during the course of the game and didn't play a full 60 minutes. He was a distance runner, so he challenged me to run a 5K race against him to prove his point.
"OK," I said, "but we'll do it like a hockey game just to see how 'athletic' you REALLY are. We'll sprint for 40-60 seconds at a time, then stop and rest for two minutes. We'll keep doing this until we cover the 5K."
"Oh, and by the way," I added, "You might want to wear some padding as you run, because I am going to knock you on your @ss every step of the way."
Baseball is a cerebrel game, given to statistics and complex comparisons and traditions. But our other national games, Football, Basketball and Hockey are games where outlandish size and injury are relished. It seems to me that Soccer doesn't contain the same ingedients and thereby fails to have the allure to the US fan. Now it soccer players started to bulk up to 240 lbs....watchout, blood on the field....LOL
You'll never be truly happy until you learn to take the good with the bad...
Of course, I'm not saying Britney Spears is not weird.
Surely you're not trying to compare watching a no-hitter to a soccer game are you? BTW, when's the last time you watched a baseball game that lasted seven hours?
Soccer is actually very common, but it is strictly a kids game mostly until about age 12. After that, most players, in paticular our best athletes, switch fulltime to American Football. Especially since football dominates the fall, basketball and hockey in winter, and baseball in spring.
Largely because of that, I doubt you'll see the US compete for the World Cup championship, and why there are few Americans in pro-soccer leagues(even a lot of American soccer leagues have a large number of Mexicans). Our best athletes are playing in the NFL, NBA, or NHL.
I think Soccer in Europe culturalwise is similar to football in the US. We even are starting to have our own fan hooligans here.
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