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Why Do We All Hate Soccer? Any Euro FReepers?
Me

Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift

I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"

So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.

The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,

"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"

The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"

To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.

Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!

The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.

So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.

If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.

Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?

I DON'T CARE!!


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: boring; soccer; sucks
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1 posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:51 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
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To: GulliverSwift
Because Europeans play soccer the way they plan for the future.
2 posted on 06/04/2002 10:10:08 AM PDT by pabianice
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To: GulliverSwift
The lame zenith for soccer was Brany Chastain's victory strip tease act. Everything else about soccer pales in comparison.
3 posted on 06/04/2002 10:13:11 AM PDT by TADSLOS
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To: GulliverSwift
Here we go again! (We had a couple of long threads on this topic last week) LOL!
4 posted on 06/04/2002 10:13:17 AM PDT by Alberta's Child
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To: GulliverSwift
I disagree! I love watching soccer, which is a lot more exciting than baseball or American football, the sole purpose of which is to smack each other (to define it simplistically). If soccer wasn't on at such odd times, I would have been glued to the TV. In fact I was 4 years ago watching France defeat Italy (I think it was Italy).
5 posted on 06/04/2002 10:15:01 AM PDT by workinggirl
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To: GulliverSwift
ping
6 posted on 06/04/2002 10:16:03 AM PDT by reillyoburbank
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To: TADSLOS
However I do agree that women's soccer is a joke.
7 posted on 06/04/2002 10:16:22 AM PDT by workinggirl
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To: workinggirl
The quarterback does not smack anybody in football. He tries to pass the ball to an open receiver.

But you're a girl. European males also have feminine tendencies, so they'll probably have something in common with you.

8 posted on 06/04/2002 10:18:08 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
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To: TADSLOS
Brandy...I need some.
9 posted on 06/04/2002 10:19:31 AM PDT by TADSLOS
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Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

To: workinggirl
The quarterback does not smack anybody in football. He tries to pass the ball to an open receiver.

But you're a girl. European males also have feminine tendencies, so they'll probably have something in common with you.

11 posted on 06/04/2002 10:23:20 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
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To: whoever
It's rather closeminded to say one sport is better than another sport. If it's not to your liking then fine. There's no need to attack someone else's sport. As for the "femme" comment, I would challange you to call a professional soccer player a "femme" to his face. I doubt you're man enough. I happen to like hockey. You get American football physicality and soccer finese all at once.
12 posted on 06/04/2002 10:24:05 AM PDT by Jim Pelosi
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To: workinggirl
The quarterback does not smack anybody in football. He tries to pass the ball to an open receiver.

But you're a girl. European males also have feminine tendencies, so they'll probably have something in common with you.

13 posted on 06/04/2002 10:24:35 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
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To: GulliverSwift
I'm not much of a soccer fan but I get full games on one of the Spanish language channels (Telefutura). If you turn the sound off (especially when a goal is scored), it is not bad. In fact, without the sound you can occasionally see behavior that appears to be non-random.

There is also Hispanic arrogance involved, and, it is typical of the Mexican grandee's arrogance toward the US. On Telefutura there is absolutely no concession to the English speaking gringo. There is no English subtitle to tell what coutries are playing and which team is which. Whatever you think about soccer, before lunch on Monday and Tuesday, it is the only sport on TV. There most be gringo bars/restaurants all over the country that would have it on their screens by default. The busboys will understand but the arrogant bas**ards running Telefutura will do nothing to make it more entertaining for the non-illegal alien, non-criminal viewers.

14 posted on 06/04/2002 10:25:21 AM PDT by Tacis
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To: GulliverSwift
Boring is absolutely correct!

It's more exciting watching paint dry!!

I think that we, as Americans, have as part of our culture the inborn desire to be better and do better, hence the need to keep score. We can't abide a game where there is little or no scoring. It's against our culture. (No, I'm not a psychologist, but my roommate in college was, so that means I'm practically an expert.LOL!)

15 posted on 06/04/2002 10:27:27 AM PDT by Pablo64
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To: Jim Pelosi

"Hey, I scored a goal! Didn't we already do that an hour ago?"

16 posted on 06/04/2002 10:28:20 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
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To: GulliverSwift
OK, how about you running all over the field, without let-up, no time outs, no commercial breaks, no time to spit out your chew.

Makes baseball players look like out of condition Dunkin Donut Cops; makes "American football" players look like panting pansies after running a twenty yard play.

Soccer players are incredible endurance athletes. Try it some time!

17 posted on 06/04/2002 10:28:37 AM PDT by aShepard
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To: GulliverSwift
It's just another way of undermining American culture & facilitating a takeover by the globalists.

Is it a coincidence that the "soccer family" types tend to support nanny statism?

Donning my tinfoil hat now.

18 posted on 06/04/2002 10:28:52 AM PDT by Freebird Forever
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To: aShepard
OK, how about you running all over the field, without let-up, no time outs, no commercial breaks, no time to spit out your chew.

That's interesting -- every time I watch a soccer game, I only see one or two players on each team running at any given time. The rest of them are standing in place or walking slowly.

19 posted on 06/04/2002 10:30:12 AM PDT by Alberta's Child
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To: GulliverSwift
Basically, a physical game where you are not allowed to use your hands is just stupid! It ignores the basic nature of human anatomy. On the other hand, American football is also stupid because the winning team stops playing before the game is over.
20 posted on 06/04/2002 10:31:25 AM PDT by dano1
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To: GulliverSwift
Soccer fans and their traditions go way back. They start by teaching them young. Then they develop into full grown hooligans!

FUTURE SOCCER STAR

21 posted on 06/04/2002 10:32:38 AM PDT by stlrocket
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To: aShepard
OK, how about you running all over the field, without let-up, no time outs, no commercial breaks, no time to spit out your chew.

Soccer players are incredible endurance athletes. Try it some time!

Sorry, I'm not a fan of watching running. The score's 1-0, but there's LOTS of running. I don't like watching track on T.V., so why would I want to watch track on a grass field?

22 posted on 06/04/2002 10:33:58 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
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To: TADSLOS
Excuse me sir, FR rules and regulations require this...


23 posted on 06/04/2002 10:34:22 AM PDT by codebreaker
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To: GulliverSwift
The quarterback does not smack anybody in football

That statement is correct only if you exclude Brett Favre.

24 posted on 06/04/2002 10:35:27 AM PDT by Freebird Forever
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To: GulliverSwift
A lot of American males were trained as kids that any sport involving a round ball was nasty. You were taught to wash your hands afterward and not tell your parents what you’d been up to or you might get punished…

At our school the only people that played baseball, basketball or soccer were the people that couldn’t make the football, hockey or wrestling teams…

25 posted on 06/04/2002 10:37:02 AM PDT by thatsnotnice
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To: codebreaker
I knew you'd be there for me...
26 posted on 06/04/2002 10:37:03 AM PDT by TADSLOS
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To: TADSLOS
And this..


27 posted on 06/04/2002 10:37:36 AM PDT by codebreaker
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To: GulliverSwift
Maybe, many of us hate soccer, because the "Soccer Moms" voted for Clinton. (just kidding) Seriously, though, I understand player can really get beat up in soccer. It's rough. At least, our football players have the sense to wear a lot of padding and helmets.
28 posted on 06/04/2002 10:40:29 AM PDT by NEWwoman
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To: workinggirl
I disagree! I love watching soccer, which is a lot more exciting than baseball or American football, the sole purpose of which is to smack each other (to define it simplistically). If soccer wasn't on at such odd times, I would have been glued to the TV. In fact I was 4 years ago watching France defeat Italy (I think it was Italy).

May I say; I think you are insane for suggesting soccer is more exciting than the NFL in America. (Go Pack!)

BTW, it's not really referred to at "American Football", it's called the NFL.

"...smack each other..". EXACTLY! That's why I'm glued to my T.V. every Sunday afternoon.

Anyone recall the Joe Thiesman leg injury? Or how about Sweetness (RIP) side stepping into the end zone and of course Brett Favre doing his magic on the field. This is why I love this sport.

29 posted on 06/04/2002 10:41:08 AM PDT by MotleyGirl70
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To: Pablo64; all
It's against our culture

What Culture ?!

30 posted on 06/04/2002 10:41:39 AM PDT by John_11_25
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To: GulliverSwift
Here we go again...
31 posted on 06/04/2002 10:43:13 AM PDT by Weimdog
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To: GulliverSwift
This reminds me of a classic SCTV show where, The station manager (Joe Flarity) decides that the stations comercial revenue is too low so he is going to have a telethon to raise money. He his sitting buy this bank of silent phones and starts talking to the audience. " Okay you are not calling.... Let me show you what you will be seeing on SCTV if you don't donate" Cut to: Soccer game " Soccer that's right Hours and hours of Soccer... Newton Vs. Hamshire...... the Phones start ringing off the hook.
32 posted on 06/04/2002 10:43:51 AM PDT by Walkingfeather
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To: Pablo64
You're right, soccer is deadly boring. Another problem it has is there is no discernable strategy. (I'm sure there is, but not to TV viewers) As slow as baseball is, there is delicious strategy and tension there where spectators bite their nails and can hardly breathe... bases loaded, 1 out, meeting at the mound, etc... same with football, there is strategy and time to savor the possibilities.

Soccer is just non-stop run around and kick the ball, the game has no context or backstory (not to mention SCORING). Soccer will NEVER EVER EVER catch on in the USA.

33 posted on 06/04/2002 10:44:20 AM PDT by berned
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To: GulliverSwift
But you're a girl. European males also have feminine tendencies, so they'll probably have something in common with you.

Must be nice to be a real masculine type like you. Can't think of a more masculine name than GulliverSwift.....

34 posted on 06/04/2002 10:44:50 AM PDT by Nate505
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To: GulliverSwift
All You Soccer Balls Are Belong To Us!
35 posted on 06/04/2002 10:45:57 AM PDT by MotleyGirl70
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To: GulliverSwift
The MOST interesting game to watch is Jai Alai....but ONLY if you have money riding on the outcome.
36 posted on 06/04/2002 10:46:24 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: MotleyGirl70
May I say; I think you are insane for suggesting soccer is more exciting than the NFL in America. (Go Pack!)

Yeah, that Packers game against the Rams in the playoffs was real exciting......or an absolute joke, take your pick.

Anyone recall the Joe Thiesman leg injury? Or how about Sweetness (RIP) side stepping into the end zone and of course Brett Favre doing his magic on the field. This is why I love this sport.

I love football too. But it can get rather boring at times. Anyone remember the Ravens/Giants SuperBore? Or all the years the Cowboys beat up the Bills in the Superbowl? I wonder, how many of you would think football is a high scoring sport if they changed touchdowns to 1 point and Field Goals to a half point?

37 posted on 06/04/2002 10:49:21 AM PDT by Nate505
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To: GulliverSwift
Judging as how Paraguay got hosed by the refs, I can see that soccer referees are just as incompetent as NBA referees.
38 posted on 06/04/2002 10:51:46 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: GulliverSwift
Very funny and right on the mark. I have a very good German friend in CA who cannot believe that I don't watch soccer and can hardly wait for it to catch on in the USA. So I watched for awhile and then ........ zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I highly recomend the sport to insomniacs.

39 posted on 06/04/2002 10:53:27 AM PDT by PoisedWoman
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To: berned
You're right, soccer is deadly boring. Another problem it has is there is no discernable strategy. (I'm sure there is, but not to TV viewers) As slow as baseball is, there is delicious strategy and tension there where spectators bite their nails and can hardly breathe... bases loaded, 1 out, meeting at the mound, etc... same with football, there is strategy and time to savor the possibilities.

But how many times in baseball do we see a team down by a run or two, bases loaded, 2 outs.....the drama, the excitement....and then the batter hits a harmless ground ball and ends the inning. Or an easy pop fly. What a let down. Or there's the always exciting 1-2 count, with the batter hitting 5-10 foul balls in a row only to ground out. Baseball has its boring moments as much as any other sport does. The key difference is we grew up on the sport, so it is interesting. I'm sure Indians (the nuclear type) think Cricket is interesting, but nobody here does, and I'm sure they think baseball is boring.

40 posted on 06/04/2002 10:53:45 AM PDT by Nate505
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Comment #41 Removed by Moderator

To: GulliverSwift
I have come to the conclusion that soccer is the Worlds sport for simple reason..

As sports go its so light weight it’s the worlds lowest common denominator

42 posted on 06/04/2002 10:55:19 AM PDT by tophat9000
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To: MotleyGirl70
All You Soccer Balls Are Belong To Us

that should read

ALL YOUR STANLEY CUPS ARE BELONG TO US

who cares about soccer its cup finals time!

43 posted on 06/04/2002 10:56:26 AM PDT by MetalHeadConservative35
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To: GulliverSwift
Any game that does not allow the use of the hands for catching and throwing tests the definition of a SPORT. A great game for socialists who try to make everyone even and bored by limiting skill/dexterity and raw athletic ability. Poor dictators also like it because all you need are some poor people who chip in for a ball and find an open area to play. If college football was one end of the excitement spectrum, soccer would be right behind cross country turtle races. If a cute chick would take off her top every time she scored a goal there would be some male viewership??
44 posted on 06/04/2002 10:57:03 AM PDT by bray
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To: GulliverSwift
I have said that there are some cultural differences why you don't like to watch soccer.

Number One: American sports constantly change their games so the scores are high. No longer will you see 2-1 "pitcher's duels" in baseball because the balls are juiced and the new small parks these people play are not fit for high school. We have 24 second shot clocks and "no zone" rules for defense in basketball, yet we call no fouls. We tinker with passing, kicking, and blocking rules in football so the scores are no longer 10-3.

Number Two: Americans like their own sports.

Number Three: Americans hate ties. Look what they have already done to hockey. Do you remember all the handwringing that went on in college football before the advent of overtime?

Number Four: If we had soccer hooligans, you would watch.

45 posted on 06/04/2002 10:59:04 AM PDT by KC_Conspirator
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To: Nate505
You make some valid points. Soccer is just not IMO ever going to capture American tastes. We like high scoring, and second-guessing managers. (Do you bring in a lefty to face the lefty, do you go for it on 4th and inches etc) which requires a slower pace for Vin Scully to tick off all the strtegic options. We also love intricate statistics which soccer is devoid of.

Also, as you say, it's too late for us to learn the subtleties of a foreign game. Hockey is almost too much for us. As to your point about the bases loaded, then the guy grounds out, that's part of the drama! If you're rooting for the team in the field, a weak grounder with the bases loaded is ectasy!

46 posted on 06/04/2002 11:05:27 AM PDT by berned
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To: Alberta's Child;GulliverSwift
You guys should have watched last years world cup finals.

Incredible action, and there weren't a whole bunch of teeth left on either side.

Wife works with alot of international guys - to them soccer is passion - recite each play, each game, and talk how the play was set-up by all the team members.

47 posted on 06/04/2002 11:05:42 AM PDT by aShepard
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To: GulliverSwift
Well truthfully I don't spend a lot of hours watching other people play ANY sport, I'd rather play in a game myself or do some other activity. But as far as the boring scale goes, watching pro soccer is at least as exciting as watching pro football, IMHO. Or baseball. Or basketball. If you're into the sport, it's not boring. Hey, they all beat watching golf! (golfer flameproof suit on)
48 posted on 06/04/2002 11:12:47 AM PDT by Sender
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To: GulliverSwift
Currently, I am a high school and club team mens soccer coach. I played and coached in college. Also, my son, even though he is 16 is on the USA U17 Olympic Development Team. I just want to make a few comments:

I love most sports, you name it, I love it. Guess it is just the competativeness?
I think soccer is the most demanding of all sports and I will not go into all of the comparisons.
I respect all that who do not appreciate soccer. Hey, that is what makes our country great.

49 posted on 06/04/2002 11:13:52 AM PDT by AGreatPer
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Comment #50 Removed by Moderator


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