Why Do We All Hate Soccer? Any Euro FReepers?

Me

[GulliverSwift]

I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"

So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.

The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,

"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"

The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"

To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.

Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!

The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.

So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.

If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.

Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?

I DON'T CARE!!

[pabianice]

Because Europeans play soccer the way they plan for the future.

[TADSLOS]

The lame zenith for soccer was Brany Chastain's victory strip tease act. Everything else about soccer pales in comparison.

[Alberta's Child]

Here we go again! (We had a couple of long threads on this topic last week) LOL!

[workinggirl]

I disagree! I love watching soccer, which is a lot more exciting than baseball or American football, the sole purpose of which is to smack each other (to define it simplistically). If soccer wasn't on at such odd times, I would have been glued to the TV. In fact I was 4 years ago watching France defeat Italy (I think it was Italy).

[reillyoburbank]

ping

[workinggirl]

However I do agree that women's soccer is a joke.

[GulliverSwift]

The quarterback does not smack anybody in football. He tries to pass the ball to an open receiver.

But you're a girl. European males also have feminine tendencies, so they'll probably have something in common with you.

[TADSLOS]

Brandy...I need some.

[GulliverSwift]

The quarterback does not smack anybody in football. He tries to pass the ball to an open receiver.

But you're a girl. European males also have feminine tendencies, so they'll probably have something in common with you.

[Jim Pelosi]

It's rather closeminded to say one sport is better than another sport. If it's not to your liking then fine. There's no need to attack someone else's sport. As for the "femme" comment, I would challange you to call a professional soccer player a "femme" to his face. I doubt you're man enough. I happen to like hockey. You get American football physicality and soccer finese all at once.

[GulliverSwift]

The quarterback does not smack anybody in football. He tries to pass the ball to an open receiver.

But you're a girl. European males also have feminine tendencies, so they'll probably have something in common with you.

[Tacis]

I'm not much of a soccer fan but I get full games on one of the Spanish language channels (Telefutura). If you turn the sound off (especially when a goal is scored), it is not bad. In fact, without the sound you can occasionally see behavior that appears to be non-random.

There is also Hispanic arrogance involved, and, it is typical of the Mexican grandee's arrogance toward the US. On Telefutura there is absolutely no concession to the English speaking gringo. There is no English subtitle to tell what coutries are playing and which team is which. Whatever you think about soccer, before lunch on Monday and Tuesday, it is the only sport on TV. There most be gringo bars/restaurants all over the country that would have it on their screens by default. The busboys will understand but the arrogant bas**ards running Telefutura will do nothing to make it more entertaining for the non-illegal alien, non-criminal viewers.

[Pablo64]

Boring is absolutely correct!

It's more exciting watching paint dry!!

I think that we, as Americans, have as part of our culture the inborn desire to be better and do better, hence the need to keep score. We can't abide a game where there is little or no scoring. It's against our culture. (No, I'm not a psychologist, but my roommate in college was, so that means I'm practically an expert.LOL!)

[GulliverSwift]

"Hey, I scored a goal! Didn't we already do that an hour ago?"

[aShepard]

OK, how about you running all over the field, without let-up, no time outs, no commercial breaks, no time to spit out your chew.

Makes baseball players look like out of condition Dunkin Donut Cops; makes "American football" players look like panting pansies after running a twenty yard play.

Soccer players are incredible endurance athletes. Try it some time!

[Freebird Forever]

It's just another way of undermining American culture & facilitating a takeover by the globalists.

Is it a coincidence that the "soccer family" types tend to support nanny statism?

Donning my tinfoil hat now.

[Alberta's Child]

OK, how about you running all over the field, without let-up, no time outs, no commercial breaks, no time to spit out your chew.

That's interesting -- every time I watch a soccer game, I only see one or two players on each team running at any given time. The rest of them are standing in place or walking slowly.

[dano1]

Basically, a physical game where you are not allowed to use your hands is just stupid! It ignores the basic nature of human anatomy. On the other hand, American football is also stupid because the winning team stops playing before the game is over.