it's useless to say
So I'll just live my life
in dreams of yesterday.
Posted on 07/31/2002 8:47:35 PM PDT by TheEaglehasLanded
Bump for an offshore bank account ............... I cant stand it .
Personally, I think our liberty will survive a law against having sex with animals. It will upset the libertarians and some of the liberals, but I don't think it will hurt the country in any way. In spite of what some will claim, the soldiers didn't shiver at Valley Forge so that a modern pervert could fornicate with a goat.
WFTR
Bill
I wonder how they define the crime? After all, as you noted, some animals are just about inescapable; more significantly, some people have perfectly legitimate reasons for sexually stimulating animals (e.g. to collect semen for artificial insemination of livestock). I wonder how they write the law to distinguish between harmless, justifiable, and illegal acts?
(Also brings up an interesting point - what if the human is the one who is assaulted?)
'I was a turtle's love toy'
The Florida marine Patrol has been put on alert after reports of a giant sex-starved turtle molesting divers.
Real estate agent Bruce Gernon was diving in the Upper Keys when he was mounted and pushed to the bottom by a huge "buck" turtle that divers have nicknamed "Crazy Charlie."
"The damn thing really overpowered me," Gernon told a local newspaper. "I either looked real good to him or he thought I was another turtle." It wasn't the first time that the turtle had attacked. Another diver had narrowly escaped a few days previously The sex-starved turtle wrapped its flippers around the diver, who wishes to remain anonymous, and dragged him to the bottom. "I understand the turtle mounted the guy for about five to 10 minutes, "Gernon said. "It's a good thing he had air in his tank or he could have drowned."
Shaken by the harrowing experience, the terrified diver abandoned his divingequipment and swam to his boat. "We've been the butt of a few jokes around town since it happened, "Gernon said. "A couple of bars have put up 'wanted' posters for the rapist.
"It was a scary experience, but now that it's over I'm trying to adjust to the fact that I was a turtle's love toy." Bob Epstein, an outdoor writer who broke the story in an Islamorada weekly, said he has since been contacted by at least 10 other divers who have been sexually molested by the turtle.
This is a joke, right?
Turtle sex is no joke, my friend. There are at least two SCUBA diver in Florida who are not laughing.........
From the September 7 issue of "The Reporter," a weekly newspaper for the Upper Keys of the Florida Keys (Key Largo to Long Key)
AMOROUS LOGERHEAD MOLESTS DIVERS
While diving at Channel 2 Bridge, Bruce Gernon, an Islamorada real estate agent on a diving holiday, was mounted and pushed to the bottom by a large loggerhead turtle. The turtle attempted to mate with the diver, who said at first he was frightened nearly out of his wits. He further stated, 'I shoved a lobster at the turtle who inhaled the crustracean and then I spun out of its grasp. I felt I was free of the encounter, but then the turtle, with renewed interest, grasped me again with its front flippers from the back and around my shoulders. Once again it attempted to pin me to the bottom. All the while the stupid turtle probed me, in my backside. Being a strong swimmer and determined not to be molested any further by this deluded loggerhead, I twisted out of its grasp and made for the surface and my boat.'
... Another diver, who wishes to remain anonymous, wasn't so fortunate. This diver, a professional procurer of saltwater aquarium fish, was pinned by a large loggerhead, perhaps the same oversexed turtle that attacked...Gernon, This time, the turtle made good its mating attack on this luckless individual. Totally shook up by the experience, and frightened to the extreme, the diver, who was attacked twice and pinned to the bottom, left catch, gear, fish, and all the rest of his equipment ...[and made]...for a mad dash to the safety of his boat."
Brilliant! Thanks!
I've always found that Lobster was best used to get you laid.
This time, the turtle made good its mating attack on this luckless individual.
I can hear the counselling session now...
sob...sob..."he hasn't called, he didn't write"...sniffle...sob
(Sorry.)
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