it's useless to say
So I'll just live my life
in dreams of yesterday.
Posted on 07/31/2002 8:47:35 PM PDT by TheEaglehasLanded
Sexual Assault of Animals Now Illegal in Illinois
Wednesday, July 31, 2002
By The Leader-Springfield Bureau
Governor Ryan has signed into law a bill making sexual assault of animals illegal in Illinois. SPRINGFIELD -- Governor George Ryan signed a sexual assault bill into law last Thursday, with two new provisions to prosecute sexual crimes. One section of the new law is raising eyebrows.
One provision of the new law makes it a Class 4 felony to engage in sexual conduct with an animal. If the act is done in the presence of a minor, or the animal suffers physical injury, it becomes a Class 3 felony, resulting in one to three years of imprisonment plus mandated psychological counseling.
"Most people thought that it was already illegal to have sex with animals in Illinois, but it wasn't," said Ledy VanKavage, legislative director for the Illinois branch of American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA).
"We have heard from veterinarians throughout the state that they are developing 'rape kits' for animals that have been sexually-assaulted by humans. This is a growing problem and it is more widespread than most people know," VanKavage said.
The problem involves the use of the internet. "We know that this problem is now spreading to minors, as they obtain information off the internet about how to have sex with animals." VanKavage said. "One little girl we heard of did an internet search on 'turtle love.' What she found was a whole manual on how to have sex with turtles."
"We find it appalling that libraries and schools are not filtering out information like this on their computers," Kathy Valente, State Director of Concerned Women for America (CWA) said today.
Conservative groups such as CWA, Eagle Forum of Illinois and Citizens for Community Values worked with animal rights groups and law enforcement representatives, such as the Chicago Police Department and the Cook County States Attorney, to get this bill into law. The APSCA worked to form a diverse coalition supporting the legislation.
Sponsors of the legislation endured ridicule while the bill was on the floor of the House. Rep. Bill Black (R-Danville)and Rep. Jay Hoffman (D-Collinsville) were the House sponsors. The legislation passed easily in the House.
According to the ASPCA, it was difficult to find a state senator who would sponsor the legislation because of the awkwardness of the topic. The sponsors were Senator "Tony" Munoz (D-Chicago) Senator Adeline Geo-Karis (R-Zion) and the lead sponsor was Senator Patrick O'Malley (R-Palos Park). The legislation passed the Senate easily, as well.
Along with 1-3 years of imprisonment for sexually assaulting an animal, the courts will mandate psychological counseling for those found guilty.
"There are reports of this type of perversion happening throughout the nation," Valente said. "This new law will finally provide a way for Illinois prosecutors to stop this activity. We hope that not only will innocent animals be protected from sexual predators, but that our law enforcement community will step up their protection of children who are sexually abused, as well."
A second provision in the new law will make it an aggravated criminal sexual assault to use a dangerous weapon other than a firearm while committing a rape.
Citizen activist Jonathan Forbes of Alton pointed out the problem to his local legislator, "When I discovered that it was an aggravated criminal sexual assault to use a gun when committing a rape, and the punishment wasn't as severe when a knife was used during the crime, I pointed out the discrepency to my state representative, Steve Davis."
Forbes said that Davis agreed that the punishment should be consistent when a dangerous weapon of any type was used, and Davis moved to correct the problem. "We worked very hard to create a bi-partisan coalition on this bill, and believe that this will be an additional deterrent," Forbes said today.
Forbes, who says he works with both parties and both conservatives and liberals, says that he believes what is often left out of the process is common sense. He encourages citizens to get involved in the political process, and to "keep moving" to promote good legislation.
This is a joke, right?
/ wiseguy mode off.
Soooo, if the turtle escapes from the ...uh...engagement unscathed, it's a Class 4 felony, but if her shell is broken, it's a Class 3 (with jail time)? What a world.
...."I've been down, since I began to crawl..."
...."If it wasn't for bad luck......I wouldn't have no luck at all...."
Remember the ads showing scantily clad women seductively carressing dogs? How about the ads showing sexily dressed children and academicians calling for "intergenerational sex?"
All we have to do is remember Greece and Rome, and remember what happened to their civilizations when they indulged in "sexual liberation." Now I'm no prude by any stretch, but where in the hell are we heading? What's the "next horizon?"
Bump for an offshore bank account ............... I cant stand it .
Personally, I think our liberty will survive a law against having sex with animals. It will upset the libertarians and some of the liberals, but I don't think it will hurt the country in any way. In spite of what some will claim, the soldiers didn't shiver at Valley Forge so that a modern pervert could fornicate with a goat.
WFTR
Bill
I wonder how they define the crime? After all, as you noted, some animals are just about inescapable; more significantly, some people have perfectly legitimate reasons for sexually stimulating animals (e.g. to collect semen for artificial insemination of livestock). I wonder how they write the law to distinguish between harmless, justifiable, and illegal acts?
(Also brings up an interesting point - what if the human is the one who is assaulted?)
'I was a turtle's love toy'
The Florida marine Patrol has been put on alert after reports of a giant sex-starved turtle molesting divers.
Real estate agent Bruce Gernon was diving in the Upper Keys when he was mounted and pushed to the bottom by a huge "buck" turtle that divers have nicknamed "Crazy Charlie."
"The damn thing really overpowered me," Gernon told a local newspaper. "I either looked real good to him or he thought I was another turtle." It wasn't the first time that the turtle had attacked. Another diver had narrowly escaped a few days previously The sex-starved turtle wrapped its flippers around the diver, who wishes to remain anonymous, and dragged him to the bottom. "I understand the turtle mounted the guy for about five to 10 minutes, "Gernon said. "It's a good thing he had air in his tank or he could have drowned."
Shaken by the harrowing experience, the terrified diver abandoned his divingequipment and swam to his boat. "We've been the butt of a few jokes around town since it happened, "Gernon said. "A couple of bars have put up 'wanted' posters for the rapist.
"It was a scary experience, but now that it's over I'm trying to adjust to the fact that I was a turtle's love toy." Bob Epstein, an outdoor writer who broke the story in an Islamorada weekly, said he has since been contacted by at least 10 other divers who have been sexually molested by the turtle.
This is a joke, right?
Turtle sex is no joke, my friend. There are at least two SCUBA diver in Florida who are not laughing.........
From the September 7 issue of "The Reporter," a weekly newspaper for the Upper Keys of the Florida Keys (Key Largo to Long Key)
AMOROUS LOGERHEAD MOLESTS DIVERS
While diving at Channel 2 Bridge, Bruce Gernon, an Islamorada real estate agent on a diving holiday, was mounted and pushed to the bottom by a large loggerhead turtle. The turtle attempted to mate with the diver, who said at first he was frightened nearly out of his wits. He further stated, 'I shoved a lobster at the turtle who inhaled the crustracean and then I spun out of its grasp. I felt I was free of the encounter, but then the turtle, with renewed interest, grasped me again with its front flippers from the back and around my shoulders. Once again it attempted to pin me to the bottom. All the while the stupid turtle probed me, in my backside. Being a strong swimmer and determined not to be molested any further by this deluded loggerhead, I twisted out of its grasp and made for the surface and my boat.'
... Another diver, who wishes to remain anonymous, wasn't so fortunate. This diver, a professional procurer of saltwater aquarium fish, was pinned by a large loggerhead, perhaps the same oversexed turtle that attacked...Gernon, This time, the turtle made good its mating attack on this luckless individual. Totally shook up by the experience, and frightened to the extreme, the diver, who was attacked twice and pinned to the bottom, left catch, gear, fish, and all the rest of his equipment ...[and made]...for a mad dash to the safety of his boat."
Brilliant! Thanks!
I've always found that Lobster was best used to get you laid.
This time, the turtle made good its mating attack on this luckless individual.
I can hear the counselling session now...
sob...sob..."he hasn't called, he didn't write"...sniffle...sob
(Sorry.)
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All aboard. |
Don't even ask about the sucker-fish.
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