Sexual Assault of Animals Now Illegal in Illinois (ROTFL ALERT)

IllinoisLeader.com ^ | July 31, 2002 | Springfield bureau

[TheEaglehasLanded]

you can screw the people here just not your pets

[Jorge]

. "One little girl we heard of did an internet search on 'turtle love.' What she found was a whole manual on how to have sex with turtles."

This is a joke, right?

[TheEaglehasLanded]

NO THIS IS ACTUAL LEGISLATION PASSED BY OUR LEGISLATURE AND SIGNED BY OUR RINO GOVERNOR.

[coloradan]

Time to haul all those dogs that want to hump your leg off to jail, and press felony charges against them. I don't know how many times I've seen felony sexual assault committed by dogs against people. Throw the book at them!

[slimer]

Do they consider the blow-fish an animal?

[FormerLib]

Yep, it's those derned Christians, again. Trying to force their morals on everyone. Just as bad as the Taliban, they are.

/ wiseguy mode off.

[Paul Atreides]

Welcome to the new, better world that liberals have brought us.

[Paul Atreides]

Well, I guess Hillary can visit home a feel a little safer. Not that she would be in any danger in the first place.

[Ben Bolt]

Pets and farm occupants do not pay taxes ...

[knak]

turtles?????? I don't even want to know!

[Mr. Mojo]

If the act is done in the presence of a minor, or the animal suffers physical injury, it becomes a Class 3 felony

Soooo, if the turtle escapes from the ...uh...engagement unscathed, it's a Class 4 felony, but if her shell is broken, it's a Class 3 (with jail time)? What a world.

[Ben Bolt]

No it is not a joke .. The web is very much forthcoming ..
On google , I slapped on a keyword and at this time I enjoy Albert King as I type this .

[Mr. Mojo]

...."born under a baaaad sign....."

...."I've been down, since I began to crawl..."

...."If it wasn't for bad luck......I wouldn't have no luck at all...."

[Hunble]

What? I must give my Goat child support for her kids?

[Vidalia]

According to this report, Bestiality has been an accepted sexual norm for citizens of Illinois for at least 250 years?

Capone only caught syphilis?

Bill won't sleep with Hillary?

Baaaaaaaaaaa...

[Ben Bolt]

HEY !!!!!!
How dare you have a good time . Stand down , damn it ;)

[M. Peach]

When homosexuality became acceptable, conservatives feared the "slippery slope." Now we have people screwing animals and having sex with kids (sometimes killing them) and we even have liberals trying to make this acceptable.

Remember the ads showing scantily clad women seductively carressing dogs? How about the ads showing sexily dressed children and academicians calling for "intergenerational sex?"

All we have to do is remember Greece and Rome, and remember what happened to their civilizations when they indulged in "sexual liberation." Now I'm no prude by any stretch, but where in the hell are we heading? What's the "next horizon?"

[F.J. Mitchell]

According to PETA animals have the same rights as humans, therefore sexual acts between consenting adults of any and all species in the privacy of their own bedroom, den, lair, sty,coop, burrow, corral, etc., should be no body's business but the sexactees. (sarcasm)

[Paul Atreides]

I am in complete agreement. We have a Princeton professor, advocating sex with animals, who is hailed as a genius. We have thongs with sexually-provocative sayings being sold for toddlers. We have an organization, NAMBLA, whose sole existence is to break down the barriers between adults having sex with children. We have influential people wanting to infest the Boy Scouts with homosexuals. When the liberals claim they want to do stuff "for the children", that's when the red flags go up.

[Consort]

I can't stop wanting ewe,
it's useless to say
So I'll just live my life
in dreams of yesterday.