Free Republic

On an unbelievably busy news day, no story is bigger than the shocking resignation of Barack Hussein Obama and his subsequent hasty helicopter escape from the roof of the White House. Early morning television viewers were surprised to find their programs interrupted for an emergency announcement, during which the ashen-faced and possibly drug-fueled president spoke in rambling, frequently cryptic sentence fragments about "the sweet, sweet call to prayer," "dog-flavored shave ice," the merits of Titleist golf balls and, most puzzlingly, his declaration that "Mike is done pretending to be Michelle." He then told America to go (and we paraphrase...

Twilight Zone: St. Petersburg FL - The desk worker who mistook a dead woman for an April Fool's Day joke and threw the 96 year-old's body into a dumpster has been fired.Ronald Benjamin confirmed that the Peterborough Apartment complex fired him Wednesday morning.Benjamin, 61, did not want to say much more to News Channel 8 because he is so distraught about what happened Wednesday. Friends have been at his home, consoling him, throughout the day.“It’s one of those crazy circumstances that probably wouldn’t replicate itself in a hundred years,” said Mike Puetz, St. Petersburg Police spokesperson.The bizarre incident started Wednesday...

Will a warming world eventually kill off roe deer in France? That question is being raised in light of new research indicating that the animals are having a hard time adapting to climate change. In a study published Tuesday in the open-access journal PLOS Biology, researchers tracked the births and subsequent survival of roe deer fawns in France's Champagne region. They noted that spring vegetation on which the adult deer depend for food was starting to flourish two weeks earlier that it did nearly three decades ago, due to gradual warming. But although spring was arriving earlier, the animals' birth...

The proposed move will take the Pentagon from the banks of the Potomac River to northwest Kansas. WASHINGTON (April 1, 2010) -- Top Army officials unveiled plans early today to relocate the massive Pentagon building to the western part of Kansas sometime this summer. "This move will be a huge undertaking, but we determined it was a necessary step as we realign our force structure," said one of the Army's top generals. "Once we started investigating the possibility of the move, we determined that it was not only critical to our efforts, but that it would be good for our...

IN a major behind-the-scenes blowout, President BARACK OBAMA and first lady MICHELLE waged their worst White House fight ever over her lavish vacation trip to China! Sources tell The ENQUIRER that Obama exploded when Mi­chelle refused to cancel her pricey getaway – even after White House advisers warned him that the first couple’s six-year string of extravagant vacations had already drained the U.S. Trea­sury of a whopping $150 million in tax­payers’ money. Michelle arrived in Beijing with her mother, Marian Robinson, and the Obamas’ daughters, 15-year-old Malia and Sasha, 12, on March 20 for a planned seven-day, three-city trip. They...

Don't know if it's already been stated, but every day that the Marxist/fascist Obama squats in the White House is America's April Fools Day to the (formerly) free world. Nothing follows.

Google might not be a scrappy startup anymore, but despite being one of the biggest companies in the world, they have managed to hold on to a unique sense of humour and that's most apparent on April 1 every year. The company has a long tradition of April Fools' Day jokes, and different teams like Chrome and Maps and Gmail all come up with their own pranks so there's a lot to choose from just out of Google. Last year, more than a few people actually believed that Google Nose - a sniff search system - was a real thing....

On March 31st, Easter Sunday, Google posted as their logo-based 'Doodle' a picture honoring far-left union activist Cesar Chavez. This was done instead of honoring the most important Christian holiday in America. Predictably, this led to a large and vocal backlash of Christians and conservatives who were angered that Google paraded out a leftwing icon, rather than acknowledge their Holy Day. The next day, on April Fools Day, I posted this thread, "Google Apologizes to Christians For Easter Cesar Chavez 'Doodle'". Sadly, it was an April Fools Joke.... and while I was delighted at the number of people I fooled,...

In an unusual move conservative chat site Free Republic announced today that it has banned all parody postings. According to a representative of Free Republic, "We had to do something. An informal survey showed us fully 75% of all postings were amateur attempts at parody." He went on "And it is a stretch to call these things parody. Parody isn't just making up crazy stuff and putting it into the mouths of people you don't like." A frequent poster on the web site, DManA approves of the move. "Everyone loves to be tricked, fooled, and made a fool of. That's...

A bizarre case leaves an Arizona community questioning their perception of reality and a police department wondering if Glock is the right sidearm for its officers. Last week was a milestone for Arizona police officer Martin Walker. March 27 marked his twentieth year with the Dilbert Police Department and the day that he was first issued his Glock semi automatic pistol. “In 20 years, thousands of rounds, I never had a jam, malfunction, hell, any real problem with it until [that day],” Walker said and, on the verge of tears, added. “I don’t know I could trust a Glock again...

It's no "U.S. Army training special cat unit," but the White House on Monday rolled out an April Fools' joke video starring "Kid President"—9-year-old viral video maker Robby Novak. "It looks like you were expecting somebody else," Novak, dressed in a dark suit and wearing a red power tie, says from the podium in the White House briefing room. “April Fools on all y’all! I’m Kid President and I hope everyone has an awesome day. It’s everybody’s duty to give the world a reason to dance. I made it to the White House! I’m here! Peace.” (Peace? Or budding Richard...

April Fool’s Day Announcement Brings Practical Joke to an End WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In an April Fool’s Day announcement that took the political world by storm, the Republican Party revealed today that its entire presidential race had been an elaborate prank. “April Fool!” exclaimed former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum at a press conference in Washington, where they were joined by fellow merrymakers Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and Herman Cain. Moments after revealing that the GOP primary had been one long practical joke, Mr. Santorum explained the rationale behind staging such...

APRIL FOOLS — Flanked by dozens of out-of-work hardrock miners anxious to put their skills back to work, city transportation and Colorado Our Way or the Highway Department officials announced plans this morning for Glenwood Springs' version of Boston's infamous “Big Dig.” Instead of going forward with the planned Grand Avenue Bridge replacement, the Permanent Landing Team (PLT) has been meeting in secret at the CDOT Hanging Lake Tunnel command center for months hatching the new plan. It will involve tunneling from the north side of the Colorado River at the Interstate 70 Exit 116. The 1.5-mile underground passage will...

Dedicating the month of April to the greatest April Fool of them all. Below are new and old "toons" of our Vice President. More as to the original post as we progress through the month of April.

Banner only. Developing...

Chandigarh, March 31 In a startling development an unidentified flying object said to be carrying “aliens” crash landed near Zirakpur in the early hours of Friday morning. Estimated to be the size of five cargo ships, this elliptical object that emitted an “intense white light encircled the fields before it went down with a thud. No one is believed to have been killed or injured and the area has been cordoned off by a large contingent of the Punjab police that has been rushed to the site. Right after the crash, radio signals were severely disrupted with cellphones going off...

Sarah is slated to appear on the local ‘Bob & Mark In the Morning Show’ April 1 to make a big announcement — is this an April Fools’ Day joke? It seems like the day we have all waited for and/or feared is upon us — Sarah Palin is set to make a major announcement on the Anchorage-based Bob & Mark In the Morning Show April 1. Sarah has said if she were to make a presidential run she would announce it on the early-morning radio show on which she appeared roughly three times a week while running for governor...

Attorney General Eric Holder on Monday pushed backed against those who accuse the Justice Department of enforcing civil rights laws based on race, saying people need to just "look at the facts." "The notion that we are enforcing any civil rights laws -- voting or others -- on the basis of race, ethnicity or gender is simply false," Holder said. For more than a year, Republicans and others have been questioning why the Obama administration reversed course on a federal lawsuit against two members of the New Black Panther Party, who were videotaped outside a

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.snip Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "

In a surprising, yet reassuring turn of events, Pope Benedict XIV, the head of the Catholic Church has announced that he is willing to excommunicate any and all Catholic Priests who have been rightfully accused of pedophilia while in service to the Catholic Church. "It is my sworn duty to uphold the tenants of the faith which rest securely on the never changing, holy scripture, which speaks succinctly, yet passionately, against sexual sin within the body of Christ." Pope Benedict wrote in a letter addressed to "Fellow Catholics, Christians, and citizens of this great planet." ...