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The revelation that the millions the U.S. spent to train anti-Assad rebels in Syria has netted a total of five trained fighters has sparked criticism from even the most reliable of apologists for his regime: the New York Times. “By any reasonable standard, this is a pathetic return on our investment,” the Times editorialized. The Obama Administration, however, refused to accept responsibility. U.S. Press Secretary Josh Earnest strove to deflect blame by pointing out that “the president’s preference has always been to kill our country’s enemies via drone strikes. The decision to try to train local Syrian rebels was taken...

In a speech before the Business Roundtable President Obama urged corporate leaders to lobby the Republican Congress and ask their representatives to support increased budgetary authority. “Republican propaganda would cast Chinese hackers, Russian military adventures, or Islamic terror as the gravest threats to our way of life,” the president said. “Don’t fall for it. Nothing is as great a threat as the possibility that the omnibus budget won’t be approved in time to avert a government shutdown.” While not totally dismissing these other dangers, Obama told the business leaders that “these are more distant and dissipated sources of trouble. Even...

In what some are characterizing as a breach of diplomacy, President Obama has invited several prominent critics of Catholic doctrine to his meeting with Pope Francis. Among these controversial invitees are a pro-abortion nun, a transgender woman, a homosexual Episcopal bishop, and two Catholic homosexual activists. The intent of this affront says Press Secretary Josh Earnest “is to make the point that religious doctrine, just like Constitutional law, must evolve to meet evolving social customs and beliefs. High profile leaders like Pope Francis cannot afford to resist these trends if the Church hopes to stay relevant in the 21st century.”...

Videos showing the 6 foot, three inch tall GOP presidential candidate Jeb Bush oddly standing on tiptoes for the group photo prior to Wednesday night's debate has stimulated some ridicule of the candidate. This ridicule has prompted Bush campaign manager David Kochel to defend his man by claiming that "it was an effort to level the playing field. Carly Fiorina gets to boost her height by wearing high heels. Why shouldn't Jeb try to offset her unfair advantage by similarly elevating himself?" if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at... http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,180701.0.html

A plea from 57 House Republican to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) to allow the Senate majority to vote on the Iran treaty fell on deaf ears. At issue is McConnell's refusal to bypass the filibuster of the Senate minority that is blocking a vote on the measure. Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas), spokesman for the 57 GOP House members emphasized that "voting on a matter as consequential as the Iran deal should take precedence over the preservation of a mere Senate rule." Although the Senate rule authorizing filibusters has no Constitutional or statutory basis, McConnell firmly rejected Smith's arguments....

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) maintains that she abhors abortion and defended federal funding for Planned Parenthood as "the surest path toward reducing its frequency in the future." "Each birth raises the population total," Pelosi said. "The more babies that are aborted today, the fewer we will have to abort in the future. By holding down the population now, we avert the burden of having to fund even more abortions in the next generation." The Congresswoman contrasted "my long view with the short-sightedness of today's knee-jerk opponents of sensible population control. I mean, isn't it obvious that a future...

A gaggle of university climatologists have written to President Obama and Attorney General Loretta Lynch urging them to prosecute people who continue to contradict the "scientific consensus" on climate change. Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) immediately endorsed the idea as "essential to our survival as a planet." "The freedom of people able to contradict the accepted science impedes the government from taking the steps necessary to combat dangerous climate change," Whitehouse contended. Paraphrasing a famous observation made by Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes for justifying suppression of free speech, the Senator averred that "allowing a person to deny the truth...

The Department of Justice says it will not pursue an investigation of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email account for the transmission of classified government documents. “On paper it looks like Secretary Clinton broke the law,” Attorney General Loretta Lynch admitted. “Juxtaposed to this, however, we have to consider the fact that President Obama gave his permission for Mrs. Clinton to use her private email system. Since he is the superior and she is the subordinate she cannot be held liable for merely following orders. To do so would seriously degrade discipline, obedience, and loyalty...

An Egyptian billionaire’s offer to buy a Mediterranean island for refugees from the war-torn Middle East region to inhabit and build a new country was not well received by the intended beneficiaries. “Building a new country is too much work,” complained Muhammad Moosheer. “Why can’t we go to countries that will give us food and houses? Why should we be denied the benefits that America or Germany grant to their people?” US President Obama agreed, calling the job of building a new country from the ground up “daunting. Frankly, the idea makes no sense. There’s no need to reinvent the...

Dismissing Republican objections that he has failed to comply with the Corker-Cardin law’s requirement that all portions of the deal with Iran must be disclosed to Congress, President Obama proclaimed that the agreement will be implemented next week. “At this point, whether Congress goes along is a moot issue,” Obama declared. “The UN has already approved it. A lower authority cannot overrule this higher authority. Besides, the GOP can’t even get a Senate vote on a resolution to disapprove the deal anyway. So, there’s no way they’re going to stop me.” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell concurred, saying that “President...

The Obama Administration brushed off U.S. District Court Judge Rosemary Collyer’s ruling that the GOP’s lawsuit against unappropriated spending for health care would proceed. In her decision, Collyer wrote that “the Constitution could not be more clear: ‘No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury but in consequence of Appropriations made by Law.’ Neither the president nor his officers can authorize appropriations; the assent of the House of Representatives is required before any public monies are spent.” “While the President is disappointed that this errant judge has aided and abetted a GOP political stunt, the ruling will have no impact...

Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe (D) brought his own armed guards to a Washington DC anti-gun rally sponsored by Michael Bloomberg’s anti-gun advocacy group Everytown for America. The Governor saw no irony or hypocrisy in his action. “First of all, DC is a very dangerous place with a high rate of gun related violence,” McAuliffe said. “It would be foolhardy for me to expose myself without having some sort of protection. Second, a governor is no ordinary, expendable average schmo. My elevated position of power makes me a target. I have a right to defend myself against anti-government radicals.” McAuliffe also...

In testimony before the House Judiciary Committee, Priscilla Smith, a Director and Senior Fellow at the Program for the Study of Reproductive Justice at Yale Law School, maintained that dismemberment abortions are “humane.” The procedure entails gripping the child with medical instruments, twisting off limbs one-by-one until the baby bleeds to death and then crushing the head. Asked by Committee Chairman Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R-Va) whether such a “humane” procedure would be an appropriate method of executing convicted murderers, Ms. Smith said “no. Even if the condemned individual were sedated tearing him apart would be horrifically barbaric and messy. Rather...

More than 50 analysts for the Defense Intelligence Agency have complained to the Department of Defense's Inspector General that their reports are being fraudulently altered by "higher ups." The gist of the alterations has been to make the Administration's war against terror appear more successful than it actually is. "For the most part our efforts against ISIS have been ineffective," said one analyst requesting anonymity. "Despite the drone strikes and the President's tough talk, ISIS continues to gain strength. They have seized the American-made weapons abandoned by an Iraqi Army unwilling to fight. ISIS atrocities remain unabated. There is no...

US Secretary of State John Kerry told attendees at the Global Leadership in the Arctic conference in Alaska that global warming presents a threat every bit as severe as World War II did 75 years ago. “World War II was the most disastrous event of the twentieth century,” Kerry said. “Over 50 million people died as a result. Global warming could easily top that toll. That is why it is imperative that the leaders of the world steel themselves for the hard choices they will have to make to combat this threat.” An example of the kind of hard choice...

This week, President Obama announced he was using his executive authority to rename the nation’s tallest peak Mount Denali. The peak was named after former President William Mckinley by Congress in 1917. McKinley’s career of public service included a stint in the US House of Representatives, a term as Governor of Ohio, and a a bit more than one term as President from 1897 until he was assassinated in 1901 after being reelected in 1900. A red-faced House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) called President Obama’s unilateral decision to rename Mount McKinley “an outrage. It makes my blood boil. This mountain...

In yet another attempt to dampen the negative implications emanating from her 2009 decision to use a private email account for official State Department business, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was “sorry that people are so confused by the issue.” Clinton acknowledged that “the decision was not well thought out. I didn’t stop to think about the potential downside of using an unsecured network for the highly confidential messages my work would entail. I was too eager to dive into the much more important business of resolving the diplomatic mess left behind by...

The Susan B. Anthony List invited 2,000 Democratic Congressional staffers to a screening of the undercover videos that have been released by the Center for Medical Progress. Only ten showed up. Only three would look at any of the videos. Only two unpaid interns watched all 90 minutes of tape. SBA President Marjorie Dannenfelser acknowledged that “viewing the horrors shown to be taking place at Planned Parenthood is difficult. Nevertheless, awareness of the enormity of the crimes being committed by this organization is an important step if we hope to end them. Abortionists in this country have murdered over 50...

Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, was led away in shackles after U.S. District Judge David Bunning ordered her to be held in jail until she agrees to comply with his orders. Bunning justified the harsh treatment calling "contempt of court among the most serious offenses against the rule of law in this country. The humiliation of shackles and the open-ended nature of the incarceration is needed to strike fear into both Ms. Davis and others who night contemplate challenging our authority." The judge belittled Davis' contention that her natural right...

Member of the House Select Committee on Benghazi Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) is calling for an end to the investigation. As Schiff sees it, "the hearings can serve no useful purpose. Closing them down will save the taxpayers' money." Schiff, who has attended only one of the Committee's 45 sessions, reasoned that "even if it is incontrovertibly proven that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was responsible for the lapses that resulted in the death of Ambassador Stevens and several others there is no remedy Congress can implement. The dead cannot be brought back to life. And Mrs. Clinton has...