Free Republic

Charles Darwin, the 19th century geologist who wrote the treatise 'The Origin of Species, by means of Natural Selection' defined evolution as "descent with modification". Darwin hypothesized that all forms of life descended from a common ancestor, branching out over time into various unique life forms, due primarily to a process called natural selection. However, the fossil record shows that all of the major animal groups (phyla) appeared fully formed about 540 million years ago, and virtually no transitional life forms have been discovered which suggest that they evolved from earlier forms. This sudden eruption of multiple, complex organisms is...

The Billy Goats Gruff Once upon a time there were three billy goats called Gruff. In the winter they lived in a barn in the valley where they paid outrageous utility rates thanks to Gray Davis. When spring came, they longed to travel up to the mountains to eat the lush sweet grass, have a big steak, and drink beer. They loved driving their gas-guzzling SUV. On their way to the mountains the three Billy Goats Gruff had to cross a rushing river. But there was only one bridge across it, made of wooden planks. There would have been more...

The Ant and the Grasshopper OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks...

A new twist to the story of: THE LITTLE RED HEN Once upon a time, on a farm , there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?" "Not I," said the cow. "Not I," said the duck. "Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the goose. "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did....

I’ll never forget the day that Mr. Wright came to teach our kindergarten class while Ms. Simpleton was out having surgery. The day before she left for the hospital she was teaching us how President Bush was giving tax cuts to the rich instead of ordinary Americans. That was during our math lesson. When Mr. Wright came to our class, he taught us about taxes by using Oreo cookies. We had used Oreo cookies in class once before when Mrs. Simpleton was talking about Clarence Thomas. She said he was black on the outside and white on the inside. I...

I’ll never forget the day that Mr. Wright came to teach our kindergarten class while Ms. Simpleton was out having surgery. The day before she left for the hospital she was teaching us how President Bush was giving tax cuts to the rich instead of ordinary Americans. That was during our math lesson. When Mr. Wright came to our class, he taught us about taxes by using Oreo cookies. We had used Oreo cookies in class once before when Mrs. Simpleton was talking about Clarence Thomas. She said he was black on the outside and white on the inside. I...

GEORGE W BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road HANS BLIX We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY Although I voted...

The Ant and the Grasshopper OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the Summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE ORIGINAL STORY: Be responsible for yourself! MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper...

I happened recently upon a boxed gift set of the beloved Beatrix Potter tales-which I promptly purchased and brought home to my wife." Imagine the fun we'll have-reading this to our Great grandson next year !" Later, I looked through the books, and saw certain things had changed ....... Mr. Owl woke up to a terrible clatter. Blinking in the sun,he peered out from his pantry window. "Whooo? Whoooo? Whooo'se making all that noise?",he grumbled. "Oh,hi, Mr. Owl !",cried Squirrel Nutkin. " It's just me and Chadwick Chipmunk ." Squirrel Nutkin put his paw around Chadwick ( who was...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned...

OLD VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! MODERN VERSION:

Charles Berlitz, who just died, was known as one of the world's top linguists and grandson of the founder of the Berlitz language schools. Yet his true claim to fame was as author of "truth is stranger than fiction" books that were actually just plain fiction. A Time magazine reviewer summarized all of Berlitz's paranormal works in describing one as taking "off from established facts, then proceed[ing] to lace its theses with a hodgepodge of half-truths, unsubstantiated reports and unsubstantial science." Among his vast repertoire: "The Mystery of Atlantis" (1969), "Mysteries from Forgotten Worlds" (1972), "The Bermuda Triangle (1974), "The...

The Ant and the Grasshopper OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks...

(Previously posted on 04/08/2003 2:36:43 PM PDT by Scothia) One day as the Little Red, White and Blue Hens were scratching in the yard, they found a kernel of wheat. "This kernel ought to be planted to produce food for lots of hungry animals," they said. "But it's a big job, and the foxes prowl the gardens. Who will help us plant it?" "We will not," honked the Goose Gaggle. "Nor I," said Le Chat, yawning. "Nor I!" said Der Hund. "Then we will do it ourselves," said the Little Red, White and Blue Hens. And they did. Soon the...

"The Pentagon has barred French, German and Russian companies from competing for $18.6 billion in contracts for the reconstruction of Iraq, saying it was acting to protect "the essential security interests of the United States."– The Dallas Morning News, Dec. 10 Once upon a time, four friends shared the forest. When an evil dictator threatened the peace and security of them all, one of the friends concluded that the bad man had to be driven out of the forest. "Who will help me disarm and depose this dictator?" asked the American Eagle. "Not I!" said the French Cock. "Not I!"...

Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?" "Not I," said the cow. "Not I," said the duck. "Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the goose. "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden...

Mary had a little lamb, His fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, The Lamb was sure to go. He followed her to school each day, T'wasn't even in the rule. It made the children laugh and play, To have a Lamb at school. And then the rules all changed one day, Illegal it became, To bring the Lamb of God to school, Or even speak His Name! Every day got worse and worse, And days turned into years. Instead of hearing children laugh, We heard gun shots and tears. What must we do to stop the...

Hansel and Gretel Hansel and Gretel were lost in the woods when they came upon a house made of candy and cake. An old witch invited them in and then captured both of them intending to eat them. Gretel had a chance save both of them by pushing the old woman in an oven but she decided that it would be wrong not to respect the witch's cultural traditions. So Gretel and her brother allowed themselves to be cooked and eaten. The witch was so happy with the children's actions that she invited all of her witch friends to the...

Here's a news item from the too-lame-to-be-true category. But it is. It seems Bill Clinton and Mikhail Gorbachev have collaborated on a retelling of Prokofiev's beloved children's classic, ''Peter And The Wolf.'' In the original, you'll recall, Peter and his friend the duck are out frolicking in the meadow when the slavering wolf shows up and embarks on his reign of terror. He gulps down the duck as his hors d'oeuvre, and has the cat lined up to follow. But fortunately, Peter gets hold of a rope and uses it as a noose with which to muzzle the wolf and...

<p>Before humans used chlorophyll and carotenoids to explain fall leaves, they drew on a mother's grief over the kidnapping of her daughter or the persistence of a group of bear hunters to account for the spectacle of summer green giving way to autumn's fiery blaze.</p>