FBI Witness Blames Lynch, Rues Getting Caught [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 March 2019 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Lisa Page, a key cog in the Obama Administration’s conspiracy to derail Trump’s campaign and sabotage him after he won the election, testified to Congress that it was Attorney General Loretta Lynch who ordered FBI Director James Comey to exonerate Hillary Clinton for mishandling classified government communications.

For her part, Lynch denied that she explicitly ordered Comey to do anything. “I just passed on the message given to me by Bill Clinton in our tarmac meeting. He said that Hillary really wanted to be president and that anyone who messed that up would regret it, possibly to the point of becoming suicidal. He advised me not to scoff because he’s seen it happen many times over the years.”

After her testimony Page said she regretted what had happened. “I don’t regret doing everything I could to try to rig the election for Hillary. Please make sure that President Clinton knows that. What I regret most is that we failed. What I regret second most is that we got caught. All that blabbing and boasting that Peter and I did via phone texting was stupid. The Mafia has a code of omertà for a reason. We should have abided by it.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2019/03/16/admitted-thief-throws-hat-in-race-for-dem-presidential-nomination/

[Mr. K]

Too real to be funny.

[Liz]

For her part, Lynch denied that she explicitly ordered Comey to do anything. “I just passed on the message given to me by Bill Clinton in our tarmac meeting. He said that Hillary really wanted to be president and that anyone who messed that up would regret it, possibly to the point of becoming suicidal. He advised me not to scoff because he’s seen it happen many times over the years.”

Cant stop laughing......just priceless.

[FES0844]

So many careers and lives ruined. They did it all for Hillary. Was she worth it? Wish someone would ask that question.

[Governor Dinwiddie]

#2: "Too real to be funny."

Not funny at all. Sickening.
 

[blam]

The Democrats have corrupted every level of the government and are using moles in the government to deny the will of the American people.

Time for another revolution.

Trump's not cleaning out the swamp fast enough.

[Fai Mao]

“Fosterized” is the term used when people around Satan’s PRom Queen tend to become suicidal.

Unless then bow give one of the Clintons “The Full Lewisnski”

[sima_yi]

Awesome, John, just awesome!

[mosaicwolf]

It is not suicide it is known as Arkancide.