Posted on 01/13/2024 5:41:21 AM PST by CFW
We received about 20 inches of snow this week. So ….
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead.
8:22 - The transgender man / woman / person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used to decorate snow figures.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.
8:37 - Then I was accused of using a black face on the snow person.
8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.
8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything, marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.
10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...
Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. We are doomed.
I recently tried a novel approach with some Jehovah’s witnesses who appeared at the end of the driveway while I was walking the dog.
They got out of their car and got about three words out....
I stared at them and started pointing and screaming:
“Look at your eyes. Look at your eyes. You are brainwashed. Get out of here.”
They stopped talking but did not retreat back to their car.
I repeated my mantra.
They ran back to their car and drove off....
Always make them live up to their so called standards.
As in, I’m offended that you are offended. You are triggering me by being critical of my snow creation. You’re invading my personal space and are giving me bad feelings of rejection. Now you owe me reparations.
Too true. But it made me cry y. Couldn’t laugh at the truth
“Not sure this accurate, but only named storms can get federal funding, therefore almost all get named.”
Yeah, I was exaggerating a bit, but not by much.
It is actually the weather channel and not a government agency that is naming the winter storms. Here are the storm names for the 2023-24 winter season. I think the current one is Gerri.
https://weather.com/storms/winter/news/2023-10-04-winter-storm-names-2023-2024
“Moral: There ain’t no moral to this story. We are doomed.”
Sadly, he’s right! 😃😞
“Scientists say Snow people mass extinction cause by global warming. Republicans pounce.” -June 2024
It would go a long way toward fixing things if we stopped putting warning labels on stuff, IMHO.
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