You’ve done all you can, except to pray.
Remember Monica of Hippo, who prayed (and wept) every night for her son’s conversion.
We now know her as Saint Monica, and her son as Saint Augustine.
Try referring to him as your fake American son. That term works. Just keep insisting he is a fake American. It triggers hardcore. It may make him eventually ask what a real American is.
I did the same thing. It lasted 5 years. Hang in there. Proverbs 22:6 is true, but brief, and does not describe the roller coaster ride in the middle.
This country is very deeply divided. And it’s not democrat vs Republican. It’s not liberal vs conservative. It’s good vs evil.
My advice is to give him to God. Pray for him often...That God’s will be done in his life. Then concentrate on loving and caring for the child still at home. If the prodigal son ever comes back “home”, then welcome him with open arms. Until that day comes, live your life trying to do God’s will and leave everything concerning your son to God.
Principle is I pay for my speech. I do not subsidize a kid’s speech who ends up being opinionated with it or, worse, disrespecting me or my raising other siblings, molesting them.
At that point in time the child is no more child but a person that can become dangerous, denouncing mom and dad like a snitch to the cops or to “Bernie Sanders” thought police.
I would say he needs to be told in uncertain terms these principles, but not even! When a chick breaks up with a guy to go to another guy, she gives no account of it, and it is abrupt. Do the same thing, like an adult to adult relationship, ie cutting off without explanation. He should be smart enough to figure he went over the line and that you understand he went over the line. Make him “take on the day” like a big boy. It is hard, but a father’s job is not to help the child like a mother but to throw the child out there so he learn to manage on his own.
Liberals always think they’re smarter than conservatives until the rubber meets the road and reality rears its ugly head. You can’t put everyone on welfare benefits and expect the money train to run on forever. They’ve tried socialism over and over and it fails every time. Let your son learn how well socialism works by supporting himself and becoming an alma mater of the School of Hard Knocks. Mother Nature can be a real beotch in that regard and a sobering one.
Going through this with nephew. He thinks dems are insane with spending but republicans hate everyone.
We were VERY tight and I helped him a lot after his dad died five years ago.
But being on different sides of a political spectrum takes it’s toll on any relationship.
I think both he and your son, once they have experience with the real world and taxes and the way some groups behave, will wake up and come around.
I forget who said “if you’re young and a republican, you have no heart. If you’re old and you’re a democrat you have no brain”
He is VERY young. Plenty of time to change or maybe even go back and forth before he comes back to the flock.
You probably won’t find a magic bullet solution to such a complex subject here. Use your best judgement, tempered with wisdom and humility, and above all... count your blessings he didn’t come back from college with a methamphetamine addiction. That’s when you throw in the towel.
First, if you look around...you will notice lots of situations like this....husband and wife who can’t resolve their political feelings....father and daughter....grandfather and grandson...etc. In the big picture of America, we have crossed a divide and now have to deal with this personal conflict.
Second, you might as well accept the idea that when he is in your presence, there will not be one single topic revolving around politics to be discussed. You can sit down and write the list of a hundred things (weather, vacations, car repairs, etc). Memorize the list...stick to the list. If he moves to the bad-topic list, simply raise a finger, smile, and note that we will only discuss things which require no arguments. For a short duration visit of 24 to 72 hours, I think most people can stick to this agenda and get by. If he stays longer than 72 hours, I doubt if your patience will be enough.
Third, in your mind...you need to see him as somewhat lost, but the odds are in five to ten years...he will have found his compass and come mostly back to some acceptable ‘norm’. By continually sticking to your 100 topics list...you will enforce upon him the idea that he has to find a way to work with other people. In companies that he will work in...neighbors of his...etc, he will eventually have to learn to keep cordial relations or fail in life.
The bottom line is that he is one of millions with this inability to handle reality. So, create a fake safe space with topics of conversation that have nothing to do with politics or news.
Let them go...
And no. I don’t mean cut them out of your life. Let them take their own journey.
I am the opposite of your situation. My parents are complete brainwashed commie socialists. All government is government controled by government. My father, especially, hated my life choices of starting my own business. He worked his entire life as a gov’t stooge. Me... I’ve worked private and have had my own business 10 years now. He hates what I am.
Let your kid[s] go. There is NOTHING you can say to oppose the modern day brainwashing. NOTHING. You can only direct information. But think of it this way. My lib prog parents disowned my because they were steeped in the commie propaganda. Maybe... They will adopt conservative principles like I have for the past 20 years Find Christ, find peace, and just relax.... My parents’ hate what that i’m not a rabid hillary pajamaboy. BUT, you get over it.
Let them go...
And no. I don’t mean cut them out of your life. Let them take their own journey.
I am the opposite of your situation. My parents are complete brainwashed commie socialists. All government is government controled by government. My father, especially, hated my life choices of starting my own business. He worked his entire life as a gov’t stooge. Me... I’ve worked private and have had my own business 10 years now. He hates what I am.
Let your kid[s] go. There is NOTHING you can say to oppose the modern day brainwashing. NOTHING. You can only direct information. But think of it this way. My lib prog parents disowned my because they were steeped in the commie propaganda. Maybe... They will adopt conservative principles like I have for the past 20 years Find Christ, find peace, and just relax.... My parents’ hate what that i’m not a rabid hillary pajamaboy. BUT, you get over it.
Democrat Party: Scam, Pitch, Deny, Deny, Deny
- Dinesh DSousa
You cannot keep your slaves, be you can try to keep your labor, pre Obamacare slavery.
He has yet to really be exposed to the world, outside his family or university. He may yet change his mind once his ideas get exposure to reality and he’ll see his understanding is inadequate.
Housemate suggests bk by Drs Sibcy & Clinton re the root of the problem & that there’s likely nothing but prayer that can be done. Sometimes Pookie’s Toons can be used but not often.
Most parents fail their children because they ban mistakes.
The road to success is accepting, even encouraging mistakes. Do not ridicule them.
If a child always has a safe place to return,
and can openly make mistakes,
there is no limit to what he can accomplish.
No limit.
Give him a few years of supporting himself and paying taxes. Chances are he’ll become at least somewhat more conservative. Don’t preach or fight about it, at least not if you want to ever see your grandkids.
I have experience in this from a Christian viewpoint. My wife and I raised our children with Christian beliefs and values. We took them to church and everyday we would read to them from the Bible, Book of Virtues, etc. My wife and I would discuss Christian principles and pray/sing with them at bedtime. My two oldest got it and were no trouble, but my youngest daughter rebelled to the point that at 18 years old I had to tell her to leave my house. It was a tough decision, but she refused to stop doing drugs and she put us in jeopardy by bringing drugs into our house or having them in her car in our driveway. We didn’t see much of her for two years and expected any day to get a visit from the police telling us that she was dead from a drug overdose. She got really low and linked up with a guy who was abusive and controlling. A lot of bad things happened to her and she was arrested twice and spent a year on probation. We put her in God’s hands and there were many friends and family praying for her daily.
One day she “woke up” and realized that she wanted to come back to God. It was a gradual process (eight years now), and along with an immoral lifestyle she had picked up a lot of “liberal” values. I was happy that she was back and when we started to clash on a “conservative vs. liberal” issue I mostly let it go, or tried to focus her back to a Biblical worldview.
She became a hairdresser and had a good job in a top rated salon. She moved back into my house and was paying rent (yes, I gave her the family discount). She started going back to church and got involved in Bible studies. As she got closer to God she became more frustrated with her work environment and wanted to serve God in a special way. Her boss agreed to give her a leave of absence to go on a long term (6 month) mission trip. After she returned she felt burdened to do more and decided to commit her life to full time Christian missionary work. I am so proud of her and am in awe of God and the power of prayer.
Not every prodigal story ends so well, but I believe one of the most neglected assets we have is the power of prayer, and I hope this is an encouragement.
Give it time.
I believe it was Churchill who said anyone in their twenties who is not a liberal has no heart. And anyone in their forties who is not a conservative has no brains.
Each person is different. I know I gave my parents fits as I found my own voice. My daughter did the same to me. You may never agree on anything but the love will come back.