Wow, that's as long as Trump's two terms gonna be!
Posted on 12/02/2017 1:51:18 PM PST by sodpoodle
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home . What the...?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm.......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone! (and God love that pig.)
Wow, that's as long as Trump's two terms gonna be!
If you passed gas for 6 yrs and 9 months,
(a) you wouldn’t have any friends left
(b) wouldn’t your house blow up?
Funny how most all of those things on the list are quite similar to liberals we all know and hate.
Hillary has been passing gas from her pie hole longer than that.
(a) she has no friends
(b) it’s the US she wants to blow up
Hillary tells more lies in one day than the average person does in a decade. (You can look it up if you don’t believe me.)
Piker ... some congresscritters do it continuously for decades.
If you passed gas for 6 yrs and 9 months, ???
That would not equal the energy of one million tons of TNT like an atomic bomb. Foolish fiction on that one so I lost interest in the rest.
The one about the praying mantis isn’t quite accurate.
‘PREYING MANTIS SEX CANNIBALISM IS MUCH LESS COMMON IN THE WILD
Once scientists started observing praying mantis sex in a natural setting, the story had a different ending, which is good for the males. When unconfined in laboratory terrariums, the majority of praying mantis mating ends with the male flying off, unharmed. By most estimates, sexual cannibalism by praying mantis females occurs less than 30% of the time outside the lab. Those are pretty good odds for the fellows. Praying mantis sex, it turns out, is really a rather romantic series of courtship rituals that typically ends satisfactorily and safely for both parties involved.
ADVANTAGES OF BEHEADING YOUR MATE AFTER SEX
There is a decided advantage for the female, however, if she does decide to behead her lover. The praying mantis brain, located in his head, controls inhibition, while a ganglion in the abdomen controls the motions of copulation. Absent his head, a male praying mantis will lose all his inhibitions and consummate his relationship with wild abandon.’
https://www.thoughtco.com/praying-mantis-sex-and-male-cannibalism-1968472
So would it blow up your house, or be continually dispersed? Asking for a friend.
/s
My wife called it my gastro-intestinal disorder.
I called it recreation.
I am pretty sure the Bonobo (chimpanzee like great apes) have sex for pleasure.
I didn’t realize that my brother was atomic.
3 out of 10 chance of losing your head.
Now that’s romantic.
Guys?
Thanks for posting
(Hmmmmmm.......)
I see your point. However, the OP said the head loss was a prerequisite for mantis sex. Obviously that’s not the case.
A little further on at the link I posted, it said the key was to avoid hungry females. If the males couldp just figure out whether she’s eaten recently or not, they could increase their odds dramatically.
I don’t know about the claim that humans and dolphins are the only species to have sex for pleasure. I did a college internship doing marketing materials for a regional zoo and science center, and those monkeys were always spanking themselves. They’d mount practically anything to pleasure themselves too, that is when they weren’t flinging poo in hostility at any zoo workers walking past. They didn’t fling it at visitors, for them they’d play and act cute but we knew better. As soon as visiting hours were over, the poo started flying.
Adds a whole new macabre level to the phrase giving head.
That’s funnier than than it should be.
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