Skip to comments.Bender's NFL LIVE THREAD Week 17
Posted on 12/26/2017 5:50:48 AM PST by Impy
"As you know in emulation of the '72 Dolphins toasting themselves with Champagne once every team in the leauge has suffered their first defeat of the year, we break out the FINEST in Detroit malt liquor once every team has notched it's first win of the season."
Ah, and you have yet to drink this year thanks to the Cleveland Browns being 0-15. How worried are you that they'll match your achievement?
"As worried Roger Goodell is that he'll never again know the touch of a human female."
"Hey, I resemble that remark! Jane, Jane come back to me!"
"Yaaar, Jane's swabbing MY deck now!"
"Sorry Rog, what can I say? I need to be with a man that has a visible member. We'll always have that time I defended you on twitter."
"As worried Bears fans are that rodeo clown Ryan Pace will still be their GM next year."
"Unfathomable! Inconceivable! To horrible to even think about, somebody hold me!"
"Der, they can't fire me, I've got pictures of Virgnia McCaskey touching me in my no no place! Besides, teacher says I'm 'making progress', I just learned to use the real potty like a big boy! Did you know they make adult tricycles? I got one for 'December Global Festivies'. Teacher says we're not a supposed to say 'Christmas' no more, Google says it's racist."
"As worried Colon Crapernick is that he has a better chance of walking on the moon than being on a footbal field again."
"Oh I WILL be the first space tourist to walk on the Moon and I'll build my own football field! No honkeys allowed!"
"If you build it, they will come."
"Yeah, you honkeys will see, all the greats will come and play in MY NFL. Jim Browm! With the moon's lower gravity he'll be like a 25 year old again!"
"That's not how gravity works, Colon. And we meant that the bad guys from 'Space Jam' would come and kidnap you for their human zoo on 'Moron Mountain'."
"You can't tell me that thing is human! I'm pretty sure I already have plenty of his species already."
"I'm not sharing a cage with that guy. I may be half cabbage but I deserve to have some dignity!"
"As worried Freepers are that Bender will retire permanently and leave them stuck with you doing NFL threads! Perish the tought."
So...pretty worried then, eh? Hey Stoolers coach Omar Epps, isn't there anything you can do? I mean, you guys lost to the Bears. Maybe you take the foot off the gas a little bit?
"No can do, Imp. But that reminds me, congratulations!
Oh right, so you'll be giving us your playoff spot then?
"Maybe that fine White girl can convince me."
This just in, Omar Epps is out as Pittsburgh Steelers Head Coach after being hit with a harassment lawsuit, hit over the head with a 300 page harrasment lawsuit, repeatedly, he's in a coma. His assailant is still at large.
Week 17 already. Happy Boxing Day!
I haven’t watched a single game this season — after being a rabid fan since 1969.
The nfl is dead to me. And I won’t be going back.
It would be great to see the empty seat statistics... Just to see who is winning!!!
Yes, if someone spits in my face, I don’t go back for seconds.
n f who?
Well, I had the honour of watching the Lions fu$k it up in the last play they had against the Bengals to win the game and stay in the playoff hunt. But nice to see the other two teams I like (Eagles and Patriots) doing splendidly well this season.
At least as telling as empty seats will be stats on the sale of NFL gear.
I do like your and Bender’s creative posts, but the NFL is bread and circuses, without the bread.
Local TV has 2 early games and 2 late games this week
No game by game picks from me, cause you know, 0-15. So I’ll go to NBCSN and record the ‘other’ kind of football for later.
Nor have I.
Looking at all those empty seats, I think “NFL” could stand for the “No Fans League”! But I think the WNBA has that patented, so....
I heard on the radio this morning that no teams “qualified” to be moved to a Sunday evening time slot - apparently if there are playoffs on the line, and the NFL thinks it could help their pocket book, they move those games to “prime time”.
I think they want to avoid having to explain the horrible viewing percentage for a “playoff-potential game”, held in prime time! LOL!
The NFL stopped being fun a long time ago. It just took the anthem protests to break me of the habit. Frankly, it is a relief.
I now have Sunday free to hunt (or do whatever my Wife tells me to do) and do not miss watching football one little bit.
We had a large group over for Christmas - someone put the game on one of the TV’s - I couldn’t even pretend to care.
Watching, much less getting excited about, an NFL game is a waste of time. Put down the remote and walk away from the TV. You will be much better off.
Yesterday, I was listening to the Steelers-Texans game online and Tunch Ilkin commented that there were more Terrible Towels/Pitt. fans than hometown fans (Houston).
Nor I. Instead I got a lot done around the house and spent more time with family.
Screw the NFL.
I’ve been a life long fan of the Green Bay Packers. I got my Shareholder’s certificate in the 1997 offering. I had season tickets (12 years, for the Oilers, since we live near Houston). I had had (F)NFL Sunday Ticket since it began. I was a founding member of the Cheddarhead Pack of Houston when it was formed.
This season, I stopped following the (F)NFL entirely. I am finished with it and their cheap shit. I will NEVER go back. I will continue to Stand Proudly with and for my Fellow Vets, our flag and our country. Being an Oathkeeper and a Vet means more to me than any sport or team.
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