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Study: AC/DC’s ‘Highway To Hell’ More Theologically Accurate Than 96% Of Modern Worship Songs-SATIRE
The Babylon Bee ^ | 6/13/18 | Staff

Posted on 06/13/2018 8:18:13 AM PDT by fungoking

U.S.—A recent survey performed by CCLI confirmed that AC/DC’s hard rock classic “Highway to Hell” is more theologically accurate than 96% of the songs that most worship bands play on any given Sunday. The study examined over 800 songs and compared their theology to the Scriptures, and found that the Australian rock group’s 1979 classic was “significantly more accurate” than over 96% of them.

“While modern worship songs tend to contain little theology, an anemic view of sin, and a poor understanding of the work of the Holy Spirit, ‘Highway to Hell’ has a very biblical view of the doctrine of hell,” a CCLI rep said. “Lead singer Bon Scott had a clear understanding of man’s natural inclination toward sin and the inevitable judgment of God that follows.”

“Just take a look at some of those lyrics in that hard-hitting first verse,” the head CCLI researcher told reporters. “‘Don’t need reason, don’t need rhyme, Ain’t nothing I would rather do / Going down, party time, My friends are gonna be there too.'”

“Bon Scott’s understanding of mankind’s depravity clearly rivaled anything Paul wrote in the third chapter of Romans,” he added. “It’s better than that song that keeps inviting the Holy Spirit in like He’s some kind of coy puppy dog.”

Further findings confirmed that other metal classics like Iron Maiden’s “The Number of the Beast,” Metallica’s “Master of Puppets,” and Megadeth’s “Symphony of Destruction” were also more accurate than most songs played on Air1 or K-LOVE.


TOPICS: Humor; Religion
KEYWORDS: humor; religion; satire
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1 posted on 06/13/2018 8:18:14 AM PDT by fungoking
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To: fungoking

Doesn’t seem like satire to me.


2 posted on 06/13/2018 8:23:10 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (<img src="http://i.imgur.com/WukZwJP.gif" width=800>https://i.imgur.com/zXSEP5Z.gif)
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To: fungoking

As a Pastor, I listen to all the worship music we use in the church, and I have gotten more theology in a Peanuts comic strip than out of most of the religious contemporary worship songs out there.

The chances are pretty good that if you can dance to it, it is terrible in its theology and worthless in worship.


3 posted on 06/13/2018 8:23:59 AM PDT by wbarmy (I chose to be a sheepdog once I saw what happens to the sheep.)
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To: fungoking

Ironically, their lead singer died after recording this song, so it’s 100% true.


4 posted on 06/13/2018 8:24:27 AM PDT by Disambiguator (Keepin' it analog.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
Doesn’t seem like satire to me.

I was about to post the exact same thing.

5 posted on 06/13/2018 8:24:29 AM PDT by pgkdan (The Silent Majority STILL Stands With TRUMP!)
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To: fungoking

FWIW

http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=1178

The title is often attributed as a phrase AC/DC guitarist Angus Young used to describe touring in America. There is a much more literal explanation, however. “Highway to Hell” was the nickname for the Canning Highway in Australia. It runs from where lead singer Bon Scott lived in Fremantle and ends at a pub/bar called The Raffles, which was a big rock ‘n roll drinking hole in the ‘70s. As Canning Highway gets close to the pub, it dips down into a steep decline: “No stop signs... speed limits... nobody gonna slow me down.”

So many people where killed by driving fast over that intersection at the top of the hill on the way for a good night out, that it was called the highway to hell, so when Bon was saying “I’m on the highway to hell” it meant that he was doing the nightly or weekly pilgrimage down Canning Highway to The Raffles bar to rock and drink with his mates: “Ain’t nothing I would rather do. Going down, party time, my friends are gonna be there too.”


6 posted on 06/13/2018 8:26:51 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: wbarmy

7 posted on 06/13/2018 8:28:40 AM PDT by kosciusko51
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To: fungoking

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
Evil minds that plot destruction
Sorcerers of death’s construction
In the fields the bodies burning
As the war machine keeps turning
Death and hatred to mankind
Poisoning their brainwashed minds
Oh lord yeah!

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to the poor

Time will tell on their power minds
Making war just for fun
Treating people just like pawns in chess
Wait ‘til their judgement day comes
Yeah!

Now in darkness world stops turning
Ashes where the bodies burning
No more war pigs have the power
Hand of God has struck the hour
Day of judgement, God is calling
On their knees the war pig’s crawling
Begging mercy for their sins
Satan laughing spreads his wings
Oh lord yeah!

They got nothing on Black Sabbath, the most scripturally accurate band of the last 50 years.


8 posted on 06/13/2018 8:35:47 AM PDT by Mariner (War Criminal #18)
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To: dfwgator

Wow, thanks for posting that. I must have listen to that song a bajillion times and assumed (based on the album cover) something very different about it.


9 posted on 06/13/2018 8:39:23 AM PDT by Made In The USA (Next thing you know, 'ol Jed's a millionaire)
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To: fungoking

‘fraid not. The song may be in agreement with the popular concept of hell, but not with the Bible’s teaching of Gehenna, the word that is said to be translated “hell.” Gehenna was a proper noun, that didn’t need translating, any more than Jerusalem or Bethlehem did.

Our popular concept of hell is Roman Catholic tradition, pure and simple.

For a serious study, see “Jesus’ Teaching on Hell” at:

https://www.samuelgdawson.com/uploads/1/1/5/5/115526689/jesus_teaching_on_hell.pdf


10 posted on 06/13/2018 8:40:50 AM PDT by FNU LNU
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To: Mariner

Oh yeah

Some people say my love cannot be true
Please believe me, my love, and I’ll show you
I will give you those things you thought unreal
The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal
Oh yeah

Follow me now and you will not regret
Leaving the life you led before we met
You are the first to have this love of mine
Forever with me ‘till the end of time
Your love for me has just got to be real
Before you know the way I’m going to feel
I’m going to feel
I’m going to feel
Oh yeah

Now I have you with me, under my power
Our love grows stronger now with every hour
Look into my eyes, you will see who I am
My name is Lucifer, please take my hand
Oh yeah

Follow me now and you will not regret
Leaving the life you led before we met
You are the first to have this love of mine
Forever with me ‘till the end of time
Your love for me has just got to be real
Before you know the way I’m going to feel
I’m going to feel
I’m going to feel
Oh yeah

Now I have you with me, under my power
Our love grows stronger now with every hour
Look into my eyes, you will see who I am
My name is Lucifer, please take my hand


11 posted on 06/13/2018 8:40:52 AM PDT by Mariner (War Criminal #18)
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To: FNU LNU
"Our popular concept of hell is Roman Catholic tradition, pure and simple"

Cuz God's allowed His entire flock to be misled on matters of eternal significance for millennia.

By your reading, FNU, we're obliged to conclude that the Holy Spirit's comatose. Or doesn't want to get involved. Or something.

12 posted on 06/13/2018 8:52:02 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (God is not the Author of Confusion, but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints --1 Cor 14:33)
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To: fungoking
I thought maybe they were touring the southwest.

US 666 Arizona 1958 North.svg

13 posted on 06/13/2018 8:54:15 AM PDT by Yogafist
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To: fungoking

When compared to “Stairway to Heaven” we see the rate of the traffic flow in their respective directions.


14 posted on 06/13/2018 8:55:04 AM PDT by G Larry (There is no great virtue in bargaining with the Devil)
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To: wbarmy
As a Pastor, I listen to all the worship music we use in the church, and I have gotten more theology in a Peanuts comic strip than out of most of the religious contemporary worship songs out there.

I hate the "Jesus is my boyfriend" genre of church songs.

15 posted on 06/13/2018 9:03:40 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Go go Godzilla)
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To: sauropod

Bkmk


16 posted on 06/13/2018 9:06:35 AM PDT by sauropod (I am His and He is mine. #FreeTommy)
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To: Mariner

If we’re gonna talk about Black Sabbath being scripturally accurate, I think you have to start with the song After Forever...

Have you ever thought about your soul
Can it be saved?
Or perhaps you think that when you are dead
You just stay in your grave
Is God just a thought within your head
Or is he a part of you?
Is Christ just a name that you read in the book
When you were at school?

When you think about death, do you lose your breath
Or do you keep your cool?
Would you like to see the Pope on the end of a rope?
Do you think he’s a fool?
Well I have seen the truth, yes, I’ve seen the light
And I’ve changed my ways
And I’ll be prepared when you’re lonely and scared
At the end of our days

Could it be you’re afraid of what your friends might say
If they knew you believe in God above?
They should realise before they criticise
That God is the only way to love

Is your mind so small that you have to fall
In with the pack wherever they run
Will you still sneer when death is near
And say that you may as well worship the sun?

I think it was true it was people like you
That crucified Christ
I think it is sad the opinion you had
Was the only one voiced
Will you be so sure when your day is near
Say you don’t believe?
You had the chance, but you turned it down
Now you can’t retrieve

Perhaps you’ll think before you say
That God is dead and gone
Open your eyes, just realise
That he’s the one
The only one who can save you now
From all this sin and hate
Or will you still jeer at all you hear?
Yes! I think it’s too late


17 posted on 06/13/2018 9:12:40 AM PDT by cschroe (Veritas est lux)
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To: fungoking

[[Going down, party time, My friends are gonna be there too.’]]

The writer is ignorant of scriptures- Hell is NOT going to be a ‘party time’ and while friends may be there too- noone will know it because hell will be utter darkness- no light- and only hte screams of the tormented will be heard-

The following is Just a few of my thoughts mixed in with the thoughts of a man called Alphonsus Liguori, a biblical scholar who has studied the issue thoroughly and wrote a book describing hell called “What will hell be like?” Here is the link:-

http://olrl.org/doctrine/hellbelike.shtml ————

Hell will be a fire so intense that it hurts the bones, not just the skin- (Ever had a bruised bone? It’s very very painful- now imagine all your bones hurting like that- That is what the fire will do- pain deep to the bones) The fire that we know today, as terrible as it can be, is child’s play compared to the supernatural fire of eternal damnation- This fire will literally boil the person’s inside- but will not kill them- It will broil the brain, but we will not feel relief by going unconscious- it will boil the bowels- but will not destroy them- “Thou shalt make them as an Oven of Fire, in the Time of Thy Anger” - Psalm 20:10. Folks, the person in hell is going to burn forever- This is serious business- God isn’t joking about this- He views sin that seriously- -————

Hell fire will not consume, nor give light- this is no ordinary fire- it is a supernatural fire- it does not consume the body so there will be no relief day and night- -————

Hell will also be freezing cold. “Let him pass from the snow water to excessive heat, and his sin even to hell.” (Job 24:19) one moment you are burning, the next moment you are freezing- There will be no rest- No escape- constant torment -————

Hell will be a place of constant torment by demonic beings (Think about folks- When Job says horrors- He is not exasperating- it’s going to be horrifying- your worst nightmares played out constantly) “Before I go, and return no more, to a land that is dark and covered with the mist of death: a land of misery and darkness, where the shadow of death, and no order, but everlasting horror dwelleth.” (Job 10:22). ————

Hell will be a place where the person is forced to think about God and about the terrible choice they made while they were alive- constantly- this will eat at the person for eternity ————

Hell is the place where the worm feeds on the flesh but does not consume the flesh- ie you will have a constant feeling of being eaten alive- Think about a simple itch and how annoying it can be- now imagine worms crawling all over your body- eating away- but never consuming the flesh- Just the sensation of it happening- ————

Hell is a place where thirst can not be quenched- ever- try going 2 days without anything to drink- it’s not very fun, and is quite uncomfortable- Hell is eternal thirst- not just 2 days worth -———

Hell is a place of unimaginable overwhelming stench- Sin around some rotting meat on a hot day- I mean really putrid rotting meat- crawling with maggots- This is nothing compared to the inescapable stench of hell- if you are sensitive to foul odours- it’s is only going to be worse in hell- ————

Hell is a place where there will be no relief from people constantly shrieking and screaming, both in anger and in pain- Ever try to sleep with loud noises present? Not very fun. ————

Hell will be so crowded that you won’t be able to move- although it will be too dark to see anyone else- a person will be crowded- never able to find a comfortable spot to rest- always being shoved and manoeuvred around by unseen neighbouring damned- -————

Hell will be a place where memories torment the person always- never ceasing- always remembering how they rejected God when they had the chance to accept Him- This knowledge will never leave them and always haunt their minds- They shall never find peace again- ever- ————

Hell will be a place where all our earthly desires to sin will be magnified many times- Whatever pet sins a person enjoys fulfilling now, that desire to fulfil them in hell will be magnified many times but they will be unable to full fill them- ————

Hell will be a place where rage and anger and disdain and fury take hold and consume a being- *********

Take heed- Hell is not going to be a big party place- it is serious business!- God is very serious about sin- and He is giving us all every chance possible to avoid it while we are alive on earth- Sin has no place in a Holy Heaven- God was not kidding when He told adam and Eve not to eat that apple- They didn’t beleive Him- and no it wasn’t ‘just an innocent mistake on their part’ it was a serious blatant violation of God’s command not to eat of the tree-

Christ willingly gave His life, willingly sacrificed His life, willingly chose to lay His life down for yours- so that you, lost sinners, do not have to experience eternity without Him- He paid the price- Will you accept the gift?


18 posted on 06/13/2018 9:14:29 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: All

Spinal Tap was probably the scripturally accurate band in the last 50 years.

I’m just saying...


19 posted on 06/13/2018 9:15:57 AM PDT by MplsSteve
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To: Bob434

IT’S SATIRE...lighten up Francis.


20 posted on 06/13/2018 9:16:37 AM PDT by fungoking (Tis a pleasure to live in the 0zarks)
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