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Pope Admits He’s Making Up Pretty Much Everything As He Goes
Babylon Bee ^ | May 21, 2018

Posted on 06/14/2018 11:28:40 AM PDT by Lazamataz

VATICAN CITY—In an honest, impromptu homily delivered Monday, Pope Francis admitted he is just making most of his theology up as he goes, ignoring thousands of years of official Church doctrine in favor of “whatever pops into my head at the time.”

Where past Popes have been careful in their attempts to stay in line with official Catholic teaching, Pope Francis confessed he doesn’t really know much official doctrine, stating that he’s more of a “shoot from the hip kind of guy” when it comes to weighty topics of morality, salvation, God, and eternity.

“People ask me questions, and I’m not always sure what to say, so honestly I’m just winging it,” the Pope said in his candid, unscheduled address. “This job is really hard, when you think about it. Trying to be the Vicar of Christ and deal with everybody’s complicated theological questions all at the same time? Ugh. It gives me a headache. So I just start talking. Even I’m surprised with what comes out sometimes.”

“I just want everyone to know about, like, love and God and stuff,” he added thoughtfully before beginning to take questions from those gathered in the Sistine Chapel, with the Pope signing off on Christian fornication, adultery, and polygamy during the short impromptu Q&A session.

At publishing time, frantic Catholic leadership had located the Pope and tackled him to the ground to prevent him from saying anything further.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; itssatirepeople; saps; satire; unlabeledsatire
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To: ClearCase_guy

ha, ha, ha, ha good one!
He should be bounced, yesterday!!


21 posted on 06/14/2018 11:58:19 AM PDT by bantam
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To: Lazamataz

It’s somewhat terrifying how close to the truth this satirical piece is. :-/


22 posted on 06/14/2018 11:58:58 AM PDT by Antoninus ("In Washington, swamp drain you.")
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To: Lazamataz

VATICAN CITY—In an honest, impromptu homily delivered Monday, Pope Francis admitted he is just making most of his theology up as he goes, ignoring thousands of years of official Church doctrine in favor of “whatever pops into my head at the time.”


Hey Pope, you might try actually reading The Bible, pray and meditate on it, understand it, before you open your mouth. You don’t have to make stuff up.


23 posted on 06/14/2018 12:00:50 PM PDT by upbeat5
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To: Lazamataz

Satire is dead.


24 posted on 06/14/2018 12:02:06 PM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: Lazamataz

He’s too busy with politics, promoting left wing politics, to be concerned with small things like the Bible. Fool.......


25 posted on 06/14/2018 12:04:57 PM PDT by vespa300
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To: Lazamataz

The hell you say! What do we expect from a Jesuit?


26 posted on 06/14/2018 12:08:19 PM PDT by laweeks
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To: MichaelCorleone
Is the Babylon Bee reliable? This is an astonishing admission.

A word about posting satire

Posted on 9/29/2014, 3:38:42 PM by Jim Robinson

No, FR is not trying to quash satire. However, it should be clearly labeled as such in the title. Some people seem to think it's great trickling our readers into falling for satire. It's not. A lot of people come to FR and scan the headlines clicking on articles of interest. If they're not familiar with the author or source, they may be misled and may even pass it on to others. No thanks.

If you post satire, please label it as "satire' in the title.

Thanks


27 posted on 06/14/2018 12:13:25 PM PDT by Lonely Bull ("When he is being rude or mean it drives people _away_ from his confession and _towards_ yours.")
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To: Lazamataz

I love this guy anyway
He is VERY Christ like
He really cares about the poor and has lived among them most of his life
That is what a pope a vicar of Christ is supposed to be like
John paul II clealry will never have a match. He was AWESOME


28 posted on 06/14/2018 12:16:15 PM PDT by Truthoverpower (The guvmint you get is the Trump winning express !)
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To: upbeat5

Hey Pope, you might try actually reading The Bible, pray and meditate on it, understand it, before you open your mouth. You don’t have to make stuff up.

____________________________________________________

Exactly. If only this Pope (and all Popes) realized there was a book delivered “once for all” outlining Christianity and that their man-made dogma was - well - SINFUL.


29 posted on 06/14/2018 12:31:47 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd
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To: Truthoverpower
I love this guy anyway He is VERY Christ like

RIGHT! Because Jesus was ALWAYS going on about Global Warming and how Gays and Transexuals are a-okay in his book! Jesus even warned us there was no actual Hell!

30 posted on 06/14/2018 12:34:39 PM PDT by Lazamataz (What America needs is more Hogg control.)
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To: Lazamataz

Doesn’t everyone make up things as they go? So what’s new?


31 posted on 06/14/2018 12:46:28 PM PDT by zaxtres
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To: zaxtres

No.

They don’t.


32 posted on 06/14/2018 12:58:14 PM PDT by Lazamataz (What America needs is more Hogg control.)
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To: Lazamataz

Oy. I admit that I laughed. Mea culpa.


33 posted on 06/14/2018 1:04:31 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Lazamataz
"As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live."
--John Paul II

"Love and God and stuff"
--Francis
34 posted on 06/14/2018 1:07:04 PM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: Lazamataz

“infallible”


35 posted on 06/14/2018 1:07:56 PM PDT by jiggyboy (Ten percent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: NorthMountain

It is to many on this thread.


36 posted on 06/14/2018 1:10:40 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Lazamataz

Is Pope Francis related to Cheech Marin?


37 posted on 06/14/2018 1:20:22 PM PDT by USMCPOP (Father of LCpl. Karl Linn, KIA 1/26/2005 Al Haqlaniyah, Iraq)
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To: Lazamataz

I only say this, because this is not under the “catholic vanity” banner .....

“Why hasn’t ‘somebody done this thing, for the good of the family’?”


38 posted on 06/14/2018 1:27:31 PM PDT by Terry L Smith (.)
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To: trisham

It’s very difficult to invent lunacy that’s loonier than reality. Even when you manage it, many people can’t tell the difference; fictional lunacy and real-world lunacy are too similar.


39 posted on 06/14/2018 1:43:23 PM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: Lazamataz

This begs the question, Is the Pope catholic???


40 posted on 06/14/2018 2:05:42 PM PDT by docsintown
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