It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign.
Related incident.
Posted on 08/15/2018 6:10:01 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Number One Idiot: I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your IDIOT sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiot : Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
Number Three Idiot :
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
Number Four Idiot :
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $140.00 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $140.00.Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $140.00. Wise guy ... But you still get a sign.
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
Idiot Number Six: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, " Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
Idiot Number Seven : Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign.
Idiot Number Eight : I live in a semi-rural area.We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." Take the sign - Please!
#4: I think this guy is lucky if they didn’t add any new fees for his stunt.
#8: I’m going to give him credit for a very dry sense of humor.
Very funny
We actually had a case very similar to the #3 idiot which happened in our community a decade or so ago. Of course, it involved very different banks as neither Wells Fargo nor Bank of America haunts us (yet).
We had an incident similar to one of your up in Fulton NY many years ago.
Some guy wanted to rob the TOPS supermarket. He got in line and waited his turn and bought a pack of gum to get the cashier to open the drawer. All he had on him was a dollar and the gum cost more than that but with the Shoppers Club card, it would be cheaper.
So he gave her his card, she rang it up, and he robs the store, all caught on video camera in addition.
So the store gets his shoppers club card info and gives it to the police who are waiting for him when he gets home.
My kids and I just roared over that one.
The idiots around here are a special breed - the dumbest thing I ever heard a redneck say (being serious) was, “You cain’t fix it, if’n it ain’t broked.”
I remember when this happened...............
Thank you! I needed a good laugh today.
All graduated with honors from public schools in Maine.
#8: I’m going to give him credit for a very dry sense of humor.
= = = = = = = =
This one goes back to when HUMOR was HUMOR.
Best done in ‘person’ so the incredulous looks and eye rolls and body language can be observed.
Another ‘oldy but goody’
Reporter interviewing ‘man in the street’ about high gas prices.
One young lass comes ups and is asked for opinion and she said
“Yes, it is getting bad, I used to fill up once a week, not it is pretty close to twice a week”
“oh, driving more?”
No, still drive the same.
After questioning etc finally arrived at she learned that ‘filling’ up was 10 dollars a week kept her car going and
she ‘learned’ that as a fill up.
So naturally, as the price rose the amount of gas dropped etc etc..
SO, she wasn’t the idiot the reporter was trying to make her out to be, she was just following an old family custom.
The area we moved to had a different cable company, we explained this to them while we were requesting that service be discontinued.
They continued to call us for months afterward asking "what can we do to win back your business?"
Expand your territory!
Here's your sign.
Old wooody allen movie “ take the money and run” has inept bank robber scene similar to idiot number 3. See it on you tube.
I had a son who did this. His older sister had done something particularly bad, and I made her toilet-train him as a consequence. She got the Eyewitness Insects book at the library, told him insects were a Crunchy Snack, and taught him to identify them.
He would spot something crawly, examine it, and ask himself (he talked to himself in the third person - we called him "James and his other brother James"), "James! Is that a crunchy insect under the table?" "I don't know, James, how many legs does it have?" "One, two ... eight!" "Oh, it is not a crunchy insect, James. Insects have six legs."
"I've got a gub."
I love that quote.
A burglar broke in to a business and when he saw himself being recorded on a tv monitor, stole the monitor.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign.
Related incident.
The lesson here is that we should be more concerned about ‘clever’ crooks and less with loony larceny;)
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