Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

St. Patty's Day Joke

Posted on 03/17/2019 11:25:01 AM PDT by Puckster

Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

“Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya”.

“Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?”

“That’s what I’m here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery”

“Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me.”

“I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m sorry.”

Finally, she looked up at Tim. “How did it happen, Tim?”

“It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout, and drowned.”

“Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim, did he at least go quickly?”

“Well, Brenda, no. In fact, he got out three times to pee.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: notnews
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-33 next last

1 posted on 03/17/2019 11:25:01 AM PDT by Puckster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Puckster

Tim Finnegan of the “Finnegan’s Wake” song fame?


2 posted on 03/17/2019 11:32:37 AM PDT by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

Patty is a girl.
Paddy is St. Pat.


3 posted on 03/17/2019 11:33:44 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (Baseball players, gangsters and musicians are remembered. But journalists are forgotten.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

God invented liquor so the Irish would not rule the world...


4 posted on 03/17/2019 11:33:46 AM PDT by Popman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

A black guy dressed as leprechaun walks in a bar...bartender says Get the **** out of here!


5 posted on 03/17/2019 11:34:01 AM PDT by Beagle8U (Lil Debby Slobbercow is Michigan's NPC.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

PS. You won’t find the spelling “Shamus” anywhere in Ireland; it’s always “Séamus”. Just like “Shawn” or “Shaun” is nowhere to be seen; only “Seán”.


6 posted on 03/17/2019 11:34:31 AM PDT by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Puckster
Isn't it Seamus?
7 posted on 03/17/2019 11:35:19 AM PDT by School of Rational Thought
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

An Irishman walked out of a bar...

It could happen!


8 posted on 03/17/2019 11:35:40 AM PDT by Beowulf9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

I had trouble becoming a lawyer because I couldn’t pass a bar.


9 posted on 03/17/2019 11:37:39 AM PDT by JonPreston (If you think we're treated badly now wait untill we're disarmed.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

“Shamus” is American slang spelling.


10 posted on 03/17/2019 11:41:54 AM PDT by dinodino
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster
Who Threw The Overalls In Mrs. Murphy's Chowder?

11 posted on 03/17/2019 11:42:03 AM PDT by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Beagle8U

I don’t get it.


12 posted on 03/17/2019 11:48:23 AM PDT by malach (We live in interesting times)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: dinodino

Mystery writer slang for private detective too.


13 posted on 03/17/2019 11:49:36 AM PDT by skepsel
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

What is the definition of symmetry?

The place where an Irishman is buried.


14 posted on 03/17/2019 12:02:01 PM PDT by TBP (Progressives lack compassion and tolerance. Their self-aggrandizement is all that matters.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

Why is Ireland rich?

Its capital is always Dublin.


15 posted on 03/17/2019 12:02:39 PM PDT by TBP (Progressives lack compassion and tolerance. Their self-aggrandizement is all that matters.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

Why is cubic zirconium the perfect thing to wear for St. Patrick’s Day?

Because it’s a sham rock.


16 posted on 03/17/2019 12:03:38 PM PDT by TBP (Progressives lack compassion and tolerance. Their self-aggrandizement is all that matters.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

What happens when four Irishmen get to together? A fifth shows up.


17 posted on 03/17/2019 12:07:02 PM PDT by jmacusa ("The more numerous the laws the more corrupt the government''.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

Three Irishmen were arguing over the cheapest price for a beer in town.

The first Irishman states that at his bar the first beer is free and then they are only a Euro a mug after that.

The second Irishman states that at his bar the drinks are free the first time you drink there.

The third Irishman states that he knows of a bar where the drinks are free everytime you go there and each time you get laid for free.

The first and second Irishmen ask the third exactly where this bar is located.

The third Irishman replies, I’m not sure as I must ask my sister, she told me about it.


18 posted on 03/17/2019 12:08:08 PM PDT by tired&retired (Blessings)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

19 posted on 03/17/2019 12:13:48 PM PDT by jaydubya2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Puckster

My uncle drowned in a vat of whiskey.
Upon his cremation it took 3 days to put the fire out.


20 posted on 03/17/2019 12:15:53 PM PDT by Keyhopper (Indians had bad immigration laws)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-33 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson