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This is why the PGA has rules;)
1 posted on 03/19/2019 8:05:32 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

Golf - a good walk ruined by chasing a little white ball.


2 posted on 03/19/2019 8:08:00 AM PDT by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: sodpoodle

Golf - a good walk ruined by chasing a little white ball.


3 posted on 03/19/2019 8:08:00 AM PDT by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: sodpoodle

At least somebody found some amusement at a golf course, all I ever got was frustration.


5 posted on 03/19/2019 8:12:25 AM PDT by DeFault User
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To: sodpoodle

If AOC’s IQ was a golf score, she’d be a pro...................


7 posted on 03/19/2019 8:13:52 AM PDT by Red Badger (We are headed for a Civil War. It won't be nice like the last one....................)
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To: sodpoodle

I’ve found a lot of these hard golf eggs, but never saw a live golf.

Love, Jethro


8 posted on 03/19/2019 8:14:02 AM PDT by NonValueAdded (#DeplorableMe #BitterClinger #HillNO! #cishet #MyPresident #MAGA #Winning #covfefe #BuildIt)
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To: sodpoodle

Jesus and Moses were playing golf together...

The 7th hole was a par 3 across a pond...Jesus pulled out his 8 iron and Moses said “Don’t you think you should hit your 7?”

Jesus said “I saw Arnold Palmer hit his 8 pin high here last week. If he can do it, so can I.”

Jesus promptly hit his ball into the water...As he walked across the water to get his ball, the group behind came up to the tee...

One guy looked and said “Look at that!!! Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ???”

Moses said “Nah...He knows he’s Jesus...He thinks he’s Arnold Palmer...”


10 posted on 03/19/2019 8:16:21 AM PDT by JBW1949 (I'm really PC....PATRIOTICALLY CORRECT!!!!)
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To: sodpoodle

If hole 9 is “behind” hole 10, then why are the last 9 holes the “back 9”?


12 posted on 03/19/2019 8:21:10 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: sodpoodle

Good Joke !

Cow Pasture Pool however is not a real ....?


16 posted on 03/19/2019 8:28:28 AM PDT by litehaus (A memory toooo long.............)
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To: sodpoodle

Groan....


20 posted on 03/19/2019 8:36:07 AM PDT by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Support Israel.)
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To: sodpoodle
I grew up across the street from a golf course. I started working as a caddy, and as soon as I was old enough, worked as a greens keeper. My job was to get up at five in the morning, cross the street, and place sprinklers on the greens, let them run for a couple of hours, then shut them off and put them away before the golfers arrived.

As an employee, I got to play for free. I never became good at it, and haven't played since I graduated from high school.

22 posted on 03/19/2019 8:37:38 AM PDT by JoeFromSidney (Colonel (Retired) USAF.)
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To: sodpoodle
Q. What is the difference between a golf ball and a G spot?

A. A guy will spend two hours looking for a golf ball

24 posted on 03/19/2019 8:39:03 AM PDT by FatherofFive (Islam is EVIL and needs to be eradicated)
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To: sodpoodle

A woman at a golf course begins yelling, I’ve been stung by a bee!

Her golf instructor asks her where she had been stung.

Between the first and second hole, she replies.

The golf instructor tells her, Oh, your stance is too wide.


28 posted on 03/19/2019 8:52:43 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
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To: sodpoodle

Feelthy but funny.

I had golf lessons, but literally couldn’t find the ball. Missed hitting it all the time.
Went of ophthalmologist, he tested my eyes, laughed. “You’ve never known where anything is, you are so astigmatic. One eye a baseball, one a football.”

So I watch my favorite sport on TV.


29 posted on 03/19/2019 9:02:26 AM PDT by Veto! (Veto! (Political Correctness Offends Me))
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To: sodpoodle

A guy walks into a doctors office with a 5 iron wrapped around his neck and 2 black eyes. “What happened to you?” asked the doctor. “Well it all started when my wife and I were golfing and by accident she hit the ball into a cow field. When we went to investigate, I saw the ball in a cow’s ass. I went and lifted the tail of the cow and that’s when I made my mistake.” The doctor looked puzzled and asked, “What mistake was that?”
“I said ‘Hey this looks like yours hun!’”


30 posted on 03/19/2019 9:03:19 AM PDT by READINABLUESTATE (Sharia law, which in itself is antithetical to the United States Constitution - Judge Jeanie Pirro)
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To: sodpoodle
My bro and I rode to the golfcourse on our bike. Collected lost balls and sold them. Made some decent bucks at $.25 each.

But we did better picking worms. 300 in half an hour. Penny a piece. In 1950...that was a lot of money.

32 posted on 03/19/2019 9:06:46 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: sodpoodle
That was funny. I'n a cyclist, not a golfer. Occasionally I'll ride by thr Country Club. I'm wearing about $200 worth of cycling gear (mainly my Sidi cycling shoes), on a $2000 bike (considered entry-level in the cycling world).

And the golfers, who are laughing at me, are wearing stuff that cost way more than mine did (remember the general from Beetle Bailey golfing, wearing the most outrageous stuff?)

Holding a Titleist golf club worth more than my whole bike. And riding around on a golf cart and saying, 'I do it for the exercise'.

33 posted on 03/19/2019 9:07:34 AM PDT by real saxophonist (One side has guns and training. Other side's primary concern is 'gender identity'. Who's gonna win?)
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To: sodpoodle

GOLF - Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.


47 posted on 03/19/2019 9:59:23 AM PDT by Phlap (REDNECK@LIBARTS.EDU)
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To: sodpoodle
Guy comes home from the club at 11:00, soaked with sweat, grey faced.
His wife says, "Where the hell have you been? It's dark, you're 5 hours late!"
The guy holds up his hand to stop her. "It was horrible! Middle of the 3rd hole, Harry has a heart attack! Drops dead, right on the fairway!"
"Yeah, so?"
"The rest of the day, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry..."
49 posted on 03/19/2019 10:39:18 AM PDT by jonascord (First rule of the Dunning-Kruger Club is that you do not know you are in the Dunning-Kruger club.)
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To: sodpoodle

Bob and Fred were best of friends and retirees. the only time Bob was happy was just before, during , and after playing golf.

One afternoon Bob was hanging around the house and annoying his wife. Finally in frustration his wife say Bob just go call Freed and play some golf. This cheered Bob up immediately and he left the house to play golf with Fred.

Many hours later, late into the evening, Bob comes home, being his normal grumpy self. His wife asks where have you been? Didn’t you play golf with Fred?

Bob answers, yes we played golf, but Fred dropped dead of a heart attack on the 3rd tee. The wife responds Oh my that is terrible. Bob says it sure was! For the rest of the day it was hit the ball and drag Fred, hit the ball and drag Fred.


53 posted on 03/19/2019 4:15:45 PM PDT by dirtymac (Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country! Now)
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