Posted on 10/12/2021 1:28:55 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
DALLAS, TX—A spokesperson for Southwest Airlines has announced delays in flights due to strange weather that seems to pass over competitors’ planes, only affecting their own signature blue and orange aircraft. The airline has stated these delays have no connection to their pilots protesting vaccine mandates.
The spokesperson then announced a new Southwest Airlines incentive program for potential passengers: All flights, domestic or international, are free to any passenger who is vaccinated and can also fly a plane.
“The requirements to take advantage of these incredible savings are simple,” said Southwest CEO Bob Southwest to a crowd of customers who have been stuck at the airport all weekend and were frothing at the mouth in anger. “Show us proof of vaccination against COVID-19 and promise us you know how fly commercial airliners, and your flight is on us.”
The CEO then mentioned other skills that were not required, but beneficial: Experience calming herds of rabid, sleepless passengers, expertise in flying through mysterious, invisible weather events, and the ability to land the plane.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Reminds me of Kevin Quaid in the movie Independence Day: I can fly a plane.
God I love the Bee
(note: FR protocol says you should add “(Satire)” at the end of the title).
Everyone knows the Bee is satire. You don’t need it in the headline. It’s more fun to figure out if it is satire when you read the article. The link to the Bee gives adequate warning that it just might not be 100% true.
Fake but accurate.
The Babylon Bee is in the midst of being shadow cancelled. Everyone who supports their humor should at least click the link let them get some ads up on a page.
Hey, I’ll go! Flying an airliner can’t be that much different from flying a Cessna, can it? “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! This is yer Captain speaking, reminding you of the Southwest Airlines’ slogan: any landing you walk away from is a good one. Free drinks!”
psh! Hold me beer!
Set your flaps, release the brakes, throttles full, V1 and rotate at 180 knots, retract landing gear, flaps 0, and give me my beer back.
OK, well I recall the Edict coming down but if others think better than perhaps my memory is bad.
ROFL. Love the Bee
Delta had one of those “vaxxed” pilots. It didn’t work out so well.
I had a few hrs in a Cessna 150 a few yrs ago so guess I am qualified. Whoops- no vax for me though.
Naw, you’re OK, you’ve been vaccinated. Smallpox, polio, diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus...
Gotta love The Bee.
That is stupid.
Emphasis on “had”.
CC
PAN-PAN-PAN soon to become MAYDAY-MAYDAY-MAYDAY.
I can but I won’t and I won’t.
BWAAAHAHAHAHA!
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