Posted on 04/27/2022 8:49:28 AM PDT by dayglored
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In the first step toward a world blossoming with freedom of speech, Elon Musk, the proud new owner of Twitter, ordered the company’s tech team to make all tweets by Bill Gates autocorrect to say “Poopy butt.”
“Poopy butt poopy butt, poopy poopy butt butt,” read a subsequent tweet by Bill Gates.
“Odd, I could have sworn I typed out a hopeful message on the benefits of global, forced, clandestine sterilization of women,” said a confused Gates, staring at his Windows Phone® while his tailor fitted him for a custom brassiere. “Why does it say, ‘Butt, butt, butt, poopy butt poopy butt, poopy poopy poop.’?”
While millions praised Musk’s decision as steering the social media company toward much-needed free speech, others have voiced concerns that untethered misinformation could lead to rigged elections and mistrust of giant pharmaceutical companies.
In one example, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki reiterated President Biden’s support for government regulation of social media in a tweet that said, “I smell like sauerkraut and farts.”
Eyewitnesses claim a frustrated Bill Gates posted in the secret group chat for members of the Dark Council of Global Dominance, ranting about the dangers of granting Elon Musk control over free speech, but his messages autocorrected to the following:
“Man boobs man boobs, booby booby man boobs.”
Nobody does ridicule quite like The Bee.
While it is the Bee, I hope that Musk is at least considering actually doing this.
Yay BEE !!!!
Toobin's tweets to say: I'm busy in a meeting for 5 minutes.
Hillary's tweets to say: Careful. I know what you know.
Zuckerberg's tweets to say: FB is still good for marketing to seniors.
Blinken's to say: War is good for you.
Harris's to complete gibberish. In other words, no change.
Did Elon give The Bee their Twitter account back I wonder?
Psaki: circle back, circle back, circle waaayyyy back.
“....Bill Gates posted in the secret group chat for members of the Dark Council of Global Dominance”
I’m thinking that parts not satire.
Poopy butt fact check: TRUE!
Harris’ is to say: Yum. What else do I need to do for a promotion?
Tomorrow’s Headlines Today:
Musk-Rat Love Ends Abruptly; Captain and Tennille Deeply Saddened
“while his tailor fitted him for a custom brassiere”
LOL
SCREAM!!! COKE UP AND OUT THROUGH NOSE!!! ahahahahaaaabwahahahaaa!!!
I figured, we all could use a good laugh. :-)
He can't yet, that's probably months in the future after the deal finalizes. Musk ain't the boss-man yet.
That said, I'm sure he will do exactly that.
It’s why it is so exquisite
I’d also like to see Musk apologize to DJT on behalf of Twitter for what they did to him and formally and very publicly invite President Trump back to Twitter, even if it’s nothing more than a gesture.......I hope that happens, I think President Trump is owed at least that much........not to mention ot would cause more lib head explosions.....if there are any left.
One of the Bee’s best!
I would guess that Musk will make a blanket invitation to "all humans" (as he phrased it) to join, including all those who were banned in the past. That tacitly includes DJT.
Whether Musk apologizes for old Twitter... we'll see. I personally think he may make a statement that he's "correcting the unfortunate and unfair mistakes made in the past" or something like that. He seems to me to be focused on the future rather than the past.
And Lord knows he'll have his hands full. Tesla, SpaceX, Boring, and now Twitter... he's a busy fella, never mind his insane personal life.
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