Related to the Law of Missed Turns -- if, despite your GPS frequent reminders, you miss your turn, and need to turn around, your previously empty highway will suddenly become full of fast-moving vehicles and there will be no place nearby to turn around.
Law of Changing Traffic Lights - If you are trying to complete a short task in your car while sitting at a red light, the light will always change to green mid-task. If you are not trying to complete a short task and are in a hurry, the light will remain red an inordinate amount of time.
Law of the Grocery Store: Within 10 seconds of entering an empty aisle, it will fill with other customers blocking your access to the item(s) you want.
Gunbsmiths’ Law of Springs - A compressed spring, accidentally released, will achieve escape velocity and will be found in orbit.
Law of Mechanical Reproduction: if you disassemble and reassemble an item enough times, you will have enough left over parts to make a new item.
Law Of Stupid: Stupidity is a self-correcting problem.
First corollary: Stupidity is self-correcting only if stupidity is left alone.
Second corollary: Attempts to correct stupidity only increase the depth and duration of stupidity.
My three laws of plumbing:
You don’t own the right tool
You will get wet
When clearing a clogged toilet, the first step is to close your mouth, safety glasses optional but recommended.
From my BIL who is a retired plumber for decades:
1. SFDH
2. Don’t bite your fingernails.
For every sock the dryer loses, a random Tupperware lid appears in the kitchen.
Law of the Rings. It deals with the probability of a ring of phone or doorbell.
It’s all depending on two factors, E (the extension or distance you are from the ring source, which gets squared if you took the stairs), and A (your age, which is also squared if you took the stairs or are committed to any activity in the bathroom).
Law of Stairs is about the proximity to the last step up or down, where you are most likely to have forgotten your mission and most likely to remember what you forgot to bring with you on the journey.
Law of Orphan Footwear. This applies to shoes as well as socks, I have three shoes with missing mates and I’m not even 30 years old, so this is not an age-related thing. Yes I have looked everywhere, except in the Last Place, for which there is a well-known Law.
5 minutes after you finish doing the all the dishes, a spoon will appear in the sink.
“Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.”
And I thought that only happened to me.
The Law of Screwdrivers: If you need a flat-tip, the only screwdrivers in the drawer (up to 40) will be a Phillips. And the inverse Law is also true.
Ten foot rule: the cell phone will not ring unless you are ten feet or more away from it, and the likelihood of it ringing increases with the amount of glop your hands are in or your presence on the toilet...
“Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.”
Perpetual Motion by Kimberly Miner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTQ93k5tlXg
This little 1 1/2 minute video was a project done by an RIT student as a commentary of RIT and its emphasis on technology. She’s poking fun at RIT, and the video is worth the time spent watching it.
Law of Physical Surfaces - also applies to kids with plates of spaghetti and the stain will remain 30 years later.
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - the company will immediately change the recipe.
Law of the Bath with a bit of Doctor’s Law - the phone will ring the second you climb on a ladder to paint the bathroom causing you to fall off said ladder busting your head open and the doctor will stand outside your patient room to diagnose it as nothing to be bothered with as blood is dripping onto his floor.
Law of Law - It never works on democrats
I always liked the Law of the Experiment (or Demonstration):
The success of any demonstration or experiment is inversely proportional to the importance of the people watching it. Always.
The length of time an object is stored in your attic (basement, garage) is inversely proportional to the time you will absolutely NEED it after you’ve donated it to charity.