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How to Prepare for a Pre-Dawn Visit From the FBI (humor)
American Thinker ^ | 26 Sep, 2022 | Pete McArdle

Posted on 09/26/2022 4:55:57 AM PDT by MtnClimber

It’s clear the FBI has no interest in students threatening to shoot up schools (Nikolas Cruz), team doctors who assault underage gymnasts (Larry Nassar), or crackheads illegally possessing guns (Hunter Biden).

No, if you’re a criminal, a pervert, or a Democrat -- or some combination of the three -- the Feebs won’t be busting your door down at three in the morning and dragging you out into the street in your tighty whities.

The folks the Bureau’s been busting lately with great fanfare, and occasionally a CNN news crew in tow, are a different sort altogether: folks who vote Republican; Trump supporters; parents concerned about the crap taught in public schools; and Catholic abortion activists.

That’s who the rogue FBI wants to embarrass, take down, and ruin. So I’ve compiled a list of things you can do to limit the damage when the FBI eventually comes for you.

Protecting Your Front and Back Yards

When the Feebs go after enemies of the Deep State, they like to surround the house. It looks impressive on TV.

So, you’ll need two dogs on long chains, one in the front yard and one in the back. German shepherds are a good choice for deterrence, Shih Tsu’s are best if merely making a loud ruckus is what you’re after.

It goes without saying that bent cops are inherently cowards who want no part of big nasty dogs or even an ankle-biter. The FBI raiders parked in front of your home will either have to wait for animal control to show up -- giving you time to shower and put on a nice outfit for the perp-walk -- or the gutless Feebs will shoot your dogs, at the very least alerting you as to what’s happening.

Door Signs

There’s two ways you can go with door signs.

(Excerpt) Read more at americanthinker.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: communism; fbi; humor; ptsd
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1 posted on 09/26/2022 4:55:57 AM PDT by MtnClimber
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To: MtnClimber
I like the idea of having a door sign: We love Joe Biden, he’s NOT a useless vegetable!
2 posted on 09/26/2022 4:56:07 AM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: MtnClimber
"We love Joe Biden, he’s NOT a useless vegetable!"

Actually, Traitorjoe and his puppetmasters are worse!

A useless vegetable sitting in the Oval Office would be a welcomed relief.

3 posted on 09/26/2022 5:01:49 AM PDT by Carl Vehse (A proud member of the LGBFJB community)
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To: MtnClimber
A suggestion...

Passover for Libs

4 posted on 09/26/2022 5:06:48 AM PDT by mewzilla (We need to repeal RCV wherever it's in use and go back to dumb voting machines.)
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To: MtnClimber

5 posted on 09/26/2022 5:07:13 AM PDT by Travis McGee (EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: MtnClimber

Sadly, more truth than humor in this article. I know a guy who took early retirement from the FIB because he could no longer stand what they’d become.


6 posted on 09/26/2022 5:13:35 AM PDT by Vigilanteman (The politicized state destroys aspects of civil society, human kindness and private charity.)
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To: Travis McGee

Still say that one in the middle is a little short for a stormtrooper...🤨


7 posted on 09/26/2022 5:16:42 AM PDT by mewzilla (We need to repeal RCV wherever it's in use and go back to dumb voting machines.)
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To: MtnClimber
"German shepherds are a good choice for deterrence, Shih Tsu’s are best if merely making a loud ruckus is what you’re after."

An old acquaintance of mine had a surf shop. His alarm system was a little Chihuahua who slept in his dog bed on the counter and two Dobermans who would sleep until the Chihuahua alarm went off.

8 posted on 09/26/2022 5:20:28 AM PDT by Hatteras
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To: mewzilla

He’s the brains.


9 posted on 09/26/2022 5:35:20 AM PDT by AndyJackson
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To: mewzilla

Napoleon Complex.


10 posted on 09/26/2022 5:37:42 AM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (Great minds drink alike...me and my baby havin' a hell of a night. - - BB King)
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To: mewzilla
Oh! Almost forgot this one;


11 posted on 09/26/2022 5:39:14 AM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (Great minds drink alike...me and my baby havin' a hell of a night. - - BB King)
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To: MtnClimber

FBI misled judge who signed warrant for Beverly Hills seizure of $86 million in cash

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-09-23/fbi-beverly-hills-safe-deposit-box-raid-forfeiture-judge

SEPT. 23, 2022 5 AM PT
The privacy invasion was vast when FBI agents drilled and pried their way into 1,400 safe-deposit boxes at the U.S. Private Vaults store in Beverly Hills.

They rummaged through personal belongings of a jazz saxophone player, an interior designer, a retired doctor, a flooring contractor, two Century City lawyers and hundreds of others.

Agents took photos and videos of pay stubs, password lists, credit cards, a prenuptial agreement, immigration and vaccination records, bank statements, heirlooms and a will, court records show. In one box, agents found cremated human remains.

Eighteen months later, newly unsealed court documents show that the FBI and U.S. attorney’s office in Los Angeles got their warrant for that raid by misleading the judge who approved it.

They omitted from their warrant request a central part of the FBI’s plan: Permanent confiscation of everything inside every box containing at least $5,000 in cash or goods, a senior FBI agent recently testified.

The FBI’s justification for the dragnet forfeiture was its presumption that hundreds of unknown box holders were all storing assets somehow tied to unknown crimes, court records show.

It took five days for scores of agents to fill their evidence bags with the bounty: More than $86 million in cash and a bonanza of gold, silver, rare coins, gem-studded jewelry and enough Rolex and Cartier watches to stock a boutique.
[more at link]


12 posted on 09/26/2022 6:10:45 AM PDT by Travis McGee (EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: MtnClimber

FBI misled judge who signed warrant for Beverly Hills seizure of $86 million in cash

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-09-23/fbi-beverly-hills-safe-deposit-box-raid-forfeiture-judge

SEPT. 23, 2022 5 AM PT
The privacy invasion was vast when FBI agents drilled and pried their way into 1,400 safe-deposit boxes at the U.S. Private Vaults store in Beverly Hills.

They rummaged through personal belongings of a jazz saxophone player, an interior designer, a retired doctor, a flooring contractor, two Century City lawyers and hundreds of others.

Agents took photos and videos of pay stubs, password lists, credit cards, a prenuptial agreement, immigration and vaccination records, bank statements, heirlooms and a will, court records show. In one box, agents found cremated human remains.

Eighteen months later, newly unsealed court documents show that the FBI and U.S. attorney’s office in Los Angeles got their warrant for that raid by misleading the judge who approved it.

They omitted from their warrant request a central part of the FBI’s plan: Permanent confiscation of everything inside every box containing at least $5,000 in cash or goods, a senior FBI agent recently testified.

The FBI’s justification for the dragnet forfeiture was its presumption that hundreds of unknown box holders were all storing assets somehow tied to unknown crimes, court records show.

It took five days for scores of agents to fill their evidence bags with the bounty: More than $86 million in cash and a bonanza of gold, silver, rare coins, gem-studded jewelry and enough Rolex and Cartier watches to stock a boutique.
[more at link]


13 posted on 09/26/2022 6:11:06 AM PDT by Travis McGee (EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts; MtnClimber
Amazing, shocking story above.

Anything the FBI thieves saw that they valued at $5,000 or more, they stole, "presuming" it to be from criminal activity. Grampa's Rolex, anything.


14 posted on 09/26/2022 6:21:52 AM PDT by Travis McGee (EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: MtnClimber

15 posted on 09/26/2022 6:30:36 AM PDT by Travis McGee (EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: MtnClimber

Link is to the Greg Price thread shown above.

https://twitter.com/greg_price11/status/1573774473592979457


16 posted on 09/26/2022 6:31:12 AM PDT by Travis McGee (EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: Travis McGee

Catholic activist, his wife and 7 kids.

An offbeat Catholic, if you get my drift. Must be of a certain age to get the reference.


17 posted on 09/26/2022 7:01:07 AM PDT by jdsteel (PA voters: it’s Oz or Fetterman. Deal with it and vote accordingly.)
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To: Travis McGee

Now you know makers of Mason jars haven’t went out of business.


18 posted on 09/26/2022 7:48:46 AM PDT by Vaduz ( )
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To: null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; bitt; ...

P


19 posted on 09/26/2022 8:20:10 AM PDT by bitt ( <img src=' 'width=50%> )
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To: All

By now it’s clear, the FBI has no interest in
<><>students threatening to shoot up schools (Nikolas Cruz),
<><>team doctors who assault underage gymnasts (Larry Nassar),
<><> crackheads illegally possessing guns (Hunter Biden),
<><>ex presidents w/ top security docs in a chicago warehouse
or a second bathroom (only if stored in country clubs),


20 posted on 09/26/2022 8:45:08 AM PDT by Liz (MAN PROPOSES.......... GOD DISPOSES.)
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