Skip to comments.Today's Ghastly Groaner
Posted on 09/28/2018 12:07:46 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husbands occupation.
Hes a funeral director, she said.
Interesting, the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldnt mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.
After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40s, and a preacher when in her 60s, and now, in her 80s a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.
(Excerpt) Read more at cdapress.com ...
Somebody has been poking around on reddit
Not me. These are in print daily in the CdA Press. Who cares where it originated? It’s some innocent humor to lighten the mood.
I guess you’ve heard of Alexander Graham Kowalski, the world’s first telephone Pole?
And the rope joke? Aw, just skip it.
Old post repeated...
Watching the weather for the Southeast coast today, I couldn’t help but remembering hurricane Andrew in Miami, remembering the time my wife and I were facing the possibility of a hurricane.
I was ready for it, but my wife was not. When the wind reached a screaming pitch and the trees snapped, the rain streamed horizontally, roofs were flying, fences were flattened, etc., my wife was rooted to the spot. She stared and stared through the glass of the window, Immovable,with her nose pressed to the windowpane. The stark fear in her eyes will stay with me forever.
Fortunately, as the eye of the storm arrived and the winds temporarily lessened, I was able to open the door and let her in.
One lazy Sunday morning Bob and Louise were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when Bob said to her unexpectedly, When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately.
Now why would you want me to do something like that? Louise asked.
I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry and I dont want some other jerk using my stuff.
Louise looked at him intently and said: Bob, what makes you think Id marry another jerk?
At least her mind is still working fine at that age. :)
One lazy Sunday morning Bob and Louise were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when Louise said to himunexpectedly, When I die, how are you going to react.
Why I’d go mad with grief Bob answered.
But would you re-marry?, she asks.
Bob looked at her and said: Louise, I said I’d go mad with grief, I didn’t say I’d go crazy.
Ha, very good.
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. Red Skelton
I may joke about marriage, but getting married was the best decision I ever made. I would do it again in a heartbeat, and to the same woman!
I'm on number four guess I'm just a gullet for punishment.
gullet = gluten spell check sucks sometimes
I used to be addicted to Tide Pods, but I’m clean now.
Looks like it got you twice:
Gluten: gluten | ˈɡlo͞otn | noun a substance present in cereal grains, especially wheat, that is responsible for the elastic texture of dough. A mixture of two proteins, it causes illness in people with celiac disease.
Glutten: glutton | ˈɡlətn | noun 1 an excessively greedy eater. a person who is excessively fond of or always eager for something: a glutton for adventure.
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