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SATIRE: Progressive Parents Devastated After Son Comes Out As Straight
Babylon Bee ^

Posted on 05/02/2019 4:42:44 PM PDT by Sub-Driver

Progressive Parents Devastated After Son Comes Out As Straight

May 2nd, 2019

OAKVALE, CA—Progressive parents Willow and Arthur Riverstone are reeling after their son Sebastien came out to them as straight.

"This is a bombshell we'll be feeling for the rest of our lives," Arthur told reporters. "I mean, we love our son and we want to support him, but we never thought he'd be one of the straights."

Sebastien, who is fourteen and currently attending Oakvale Highschool as a freshman, broke the news to them last Wednesday when he wanted to invite a girl named Sophia to come over and hang out.

"We were hoping she was at least transgendered, but no dice," said Willow.

"We're still trying to decide if we would attend the wedding if you know... he's serious about this," Arthur said. "I just wasn't prepared for this. We didn't raise him this way. I mean, what's he going to do? Give us grandkids? I don't know how the environment is going to handle this, let alone me and my wife." The man broke down sobbing.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; chat; notnews; satire
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To: 21twelve

These are the end of days (End of the Church Age dispensation) I’m awaiting the Trumpet, “Come up hither”

Good thing I’m not God, I haven’t the patience!


21 posted on 05/02/2019 5:04:17 PM PDT by patriot torch
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To: rhombus10

[What used to be obvious satire, is not so obvious in an insane world.]

Unfortunately, that’s quite true.


22 posted on 05/02/2019 5:04:59 PM PDT by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold ......)
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To: Sub-Driver

< grin>


23 posted on 05/02/2019 5:05:37 PM PDT by sauropod (Yield to sin, and experience chastening and sorrow; yield to God, and experience joy and blessing.)
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To: 21twelve

I never had that problem with my boys.


24 posted on 05/02/2019 5:06:25 PM PDT by ebshumidors
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To: Sub-Driver
Shirt son wore when announced./s
25 posted on 05/02/2019 5:09:24 PM PDT by CharlesMartelsGhost
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To: 21twelve
they can take him away from you for “child abuse”

In that case they can keep him and raise him.

26 posted on 05/02/2019 5:09:33 PM PDT by BipolarBob (AOC is the Democrat prophecy come true : "A bartender will lead them".)
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To: Sub-Driver

Straight and faithful Chritian conservative, would literally kill them.


27 posted on 05/02/2019 5:12:28 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Sub-Driver

I guess naming him “Sebastien” didn’t work.


28 posted on 05/02/2019 5:14:32 PM PDT by Southside_Chicago_Republican (The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.)
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To: chesley

Swift would be stumped as to how to satirize the left.

I think he was working on a plan to fully utilize them?

A bit dated but still workable, think Soylent Green?

A Modest Proposal For preventing the Children of the left From being a Burthen to Their Parents or Country, and For making them Beneficial to the Publick

http://www.readwritethink.org/files/resources/30827_modestproposal.pdf


29 posted on 05/02/2019 5:14:42 PM PDT by DUMBGRUNT ("The enemy has overrun us. We are blowing up everything. Vive la France!")
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To: Sub-Driver

I worked in Beverly Hills for 10 years...dated a gal in Hollywood who babysat some 13 year old girls, one of which had carved her initials in another girl’s chest. California is inhabited only by sickies, liberals and illegals, everyone with brains and money has been long gone. We are in Colorado with our son’s family and our older daughter is in Alaska. The people who bought our last home in California will pay $15,000/year in property taxes when we were paying $5,000...California is doomed...the only official gender will be “confused”...


30 posted on 05/02/2019 5:16:15 PM PDT by Stayfree (Liberalism is a mental disease caused by stupidity and elitism!!)
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To: CharlesMartelsGhost

Get these on Amazon and sell millions of them...at least to the 90 million gun owners and probably tens of millions more to all the Christians who are not gun owners.


31 posted on 05/02/2019 5:19:11 PM PDT by Stayfree (Liberalism is a mental disease caused by stupidity and elitism!!)
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To: CharlesMartelsGhost

Get these on Amazon and sell millions of them...at least to the 90 million gun owners and probably tens of millions more to all the Christians who are not gun owners.


32 posted on 05/02/2019 5:19:12 PM PDT by Stayfree (Liberalism is a mental disease caused by stupidity and elitism!!)
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To: Stayfree

It was made by a food vendor in Kentucky, Belle’s Smoking BBQ

https://pjmedia.com/trending/kentucky-bbq-truck-catches-grief-for-tongue-in-cheek-lgbtq-t-shirt/


33 posted on 05/02/2019 5:22:03 PM PDT by CharlesMartelsGhost
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To: Rusty0604

“Satire site”.

I fell for it completely. I was not surprised at all. Disgusted, yes, surprised, no.


34 posted on 05/02/2019 5:22:15 PM PDT by laplata (The Left/Progressives have diseased minds.)
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To: Sub-Driver

Well, there’s still some “hope” he’s bi. Or maybe he’s 1/1024th Cherokee.


35 posted on 05/02/2019 5:22:31 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Leave the job, leave the clearance. It should be the same rule for the Swamp as for everyone else.)
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To: 21twelve

One wonders ... what will it take ... hypothetically .. before . Never mind.


36 posted on 05/02/2019 5:28:02 PM PDT by Freedom4US
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To: BlackFemaleArmyColonel

ROFL


37 posted on 05/02/2019 5:29:05 PM PDT by madison10
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To: Sub-Driver

I know this article is a joke, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a Leftist couple who is disappointed that their son is straight. The Left has become a parody of itself.


38 posted on 05/02/2019 6:14:30 PM PDT by Repeal 16-17 (Let me know when the Shooting starts.)
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To: TexasGator

Which one?


39 posted on 05/02/2019 6:16:17 PM PDT by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: metmom

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3745877/posts


40 posted on 05/02/2019 6:21:41 PM PDT by TexasGator (Z1z)
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