Free Republic 2nd Qtr 2024 Fundraising Target: $81,000 Receipts & Pledges to-date: $25,422
31%  
Woo hoo!! And we're now over 31%!! Thank you all very much!! God bless.

Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Bill Clinton Laments Double Standards [semi-satire]

    07/10/2018 10:01:32 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 July 2018 | John Semmens
    In a commentary on what he alleged were the “appalling ethical standards infecting contemporary political discourse,” former President Bill Clinton contrasted his own personal experience with that of Donald Trump, saying that “back then, you couldn’t just tell an outright lie and get away with it. Look, I tried. I lied about my relationship with an intern. I tried to portray her as a nut-job stalker. I even lied under oath. But they still got me. I lost my law license and my good name.” “Compare that with Trump,” Clinton suggested. “Everybody knows he’s the type of person who must...
  • Last Night’s Trump Derangement Twitter Meltdown was Glorious to Behold

    07/10/2018 6:11:54 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 15 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) President Trump nominates Supreme Court justice, left goes crazy, fake news media piles on. Wash, rinse, repeat. – So, Brett Kavanaugh will become the latest nominee for the Supreme Court by a GOP president to have his reputation trashed by the Democrat/fake news media propaganda complex. Let’s all hope he can withstand it. So predictable and staged was the leftists’ fake reaction to the nomination that one can only wonder how anyone remains dim enough to fall for this nonsense anymore. A small army of Soros-funded professional protesters began gathering in front...
  • Live By the Sword, Die By the Sword

    07/10/2018 4:26:23 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 12 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-10-18 | MOTUS
    Glenn Reynolds has an ongoing gag line: “The left is really going to hate living under the new rules they’ve created.”In this case it’s their in-kind special interest group replacement policy: a woman is to be replace with a woman, a black man with another black man, etc.. Otherwise you’re losing the increasingly tortuous game of affirmative action. So if you don’t like the newly named Supreme Court nominee – and I note that loud portions of the Left have already assembled with their unhinged flock to scream at the waning moon with pre-printed signs opposing Justice Kavanaugh’s appointment -don’t...
  • Israel Accused of Causing Iran's Drought [semi-satire]

    07/09/2018 11:33:01 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 July 2018 | John Semmens
    Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali, head of Iran's Civil Defense Organization, blamed Israel for his country's drought. "If you look at satellite photos you can see that all mountainous areas between Afghanistan and the Mediterranean are covered in snow, except for Iran," he said. "The only logical explanation for such an anomaly is a Zionist conspiracy to attack my country." The General speculated that "it could be some sort of giant fan that is blowing precipitation-bearing clouds away from Iran or an infrared ray that evaporates the snow that should be there. Either way, it's an act of aggression that...
  • Amy Coney Barrett is the Perfect Nominee for this Moment in Time

    07/09/2018 5:13:11 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 63 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Hillary Clinton, the gift that just keeps on giving. To Republicans. – Oh please, let this be so. Michael Goodwin, terrific columnist for the New York Post, had a great piece on Saturday laying out the reasons why he believes that the Fainting Felon is planning behind the scenes to mount yet another run for the presidency in 2020. Personally, I think he’s right – have long thought this would inevitably be the case – and that everyone should begin prepping themselves for Hillary Part III: The Return of the Pantsuit. And...
  • What To Do While Waiting For Doomsday

    07/09/2018 4:29:49 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 13 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-9-18 | MOTUS
    Leftist First World problems: How to stay calm today when President Trump isn’t going to name his Supreme Court nominee until 9:00 pm?Suggestion #1: Slice soap #SoapCutting has more than 70,000 posts on Instagram alone. Most posts were of videos showcasing a single bar of soap being sliced up. – ABC News Soap slicing? Really? And Democrats are still worried about VSGPDJT’s jobs creating economic program being “reckless and irresponsible?” Hmmph.Suggestion #2: Sand Pounding:Equally unproductive but will keep them unemployed and out of trouble while waiting for their heads to explode.Posted from: MOTUS A.D.
  • DNC Denounces Record Employment [semi-satire]

    07/08/2018 9:55:36 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 July 2018 | John Semmens
    The Bureau of Labor Statistics’ June jobs report showed that the US economy added 213,000 jobs—bringing the number of employed Americans to 155,576,000—the tenth record high of the Trump presidency. Democratic National Chairman and former Secretary of Labor under Obama, Tom Perez warned voters “to not be taken in by this mirage of the so-called good life.” “Remember, each person pushed into a 40-hour-a-week job has lost at least 40 hours of leisure time,” Perez pointed out. “Is this a trade-off that truly benefits everyone? Most jobs are boring. Many are dangerous. Shouldn’t the goal be to work toward the...
  • Tales of Liberal Woe Can be so Enlightening

    07/08/2018 5:21:23 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 23 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Is there nothing the all-powerful, all-evil Trump cannot do? – Writing in the UK Guardian, some fake journalist named Brigid Delaney just published what is quite possibly the single dumbest anti-Trump screed ever written. Yes, yes, I know it’s an extremely crowded field with tons front runners with recognizable names – are you listening, George Will, Bill Kristol, Max Boot? – and that we are still early in the race, given that President Trump very likely still has more than six years to serve in the office. But the nondescript Ms. Delaney...
  • Possible Troop Withdrawals Rattle Globalist Lobby [semi-satire]

    07/07/2018 11:29:45 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 July 2018 | John Semmens
    As of now, there are 60,000 US troops stationed in Europe. Pentagon evaluation of potentially withdrawing “some of them” has the globalist lobby on edge. An article published by McClatchy headlined “European Leaders Worry…” neglected to name a single European leader. Instead, numerous members of the globalist lobby ominously warned of the dire consequences if President Trump follows through with his campaign promise to reduce the US military contingent in Europe. NATO was established in the midst of the Soviet Union’s 1948-49 blockade of Western Berlin. It was meant to deter Soviet military aggression against Western Europe. The Trump Administration...
  • Making America Work Again

    07/07/2018 5:01:58 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 9 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-7-18 | MOTUS
    What normally would be considered good news has instead become the Progressive Democratic Socialists of America Apocalyptic News of the Week: June Jobs Numbers Beat Expectations with 213,000 New Payroll Jobs. WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!First, from Nancy Pelosi: Of course San Fran Nan is an avid adherent of the innovative economic theory of the Amazing Money Velocity of the Unemployment Dollar: “For every dollar spent on unemployment benefits, the economy grows by, according to one estimate, $1.52; by others, $2. So somewhere in that range, but much more than is spent on it." - Pelosi, December, 2013 So you...
  • First They Came for Donald Trump and we did Nothing; Then They Came for Jim Jordan…

    07/07/2018 4:58:47 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 46 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Tired of all this Winning yet? – San Fran Nan and her fellow Democrats recoiled in horror at yet another fantastic jobs report, as the private sector added another 213,000 new jobs in June, once again beating analyst expectations. The jobs report includes new record low unemployment for Hispanic workers and continued record low unemployment for Black workers. Thus, Democrats went into a panic, with Pelosi issuing a statement claiming that “Donald Trump’s reckless policies are hurting millions of hardworking families.” Because lying shamelessly is all they got. A classic case of...
  • Don't nobody challenge Trump, it just ain't done!

    07/07/2018 12:39:56 AM PDT · by KittenClaws · 45 replies
    Todaykittenclawsi | Kittenclaws
    I think the title speaks for itself. Pretty sure I'll be banned for this, but you know what? I don't care. There are plenty of FReepers that would love to see me go because I question the great Qanon I actually fell for the July 4th bit.....but Live and learn
  • Albright Says "Plenty of Room" for Illegal Immigrants [semi-satire]

    07/06/2018 10:47:03 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 July 2018 | John Semmens
    Former secretary of state Madeline Albright castigated the Trump Administration's opposition to unconstrained illegal immigration, calling it "undemocratic and essentially similar to what a fascist would do. Treating people differently because of their race or ethnicity is something that Hitler did. If a German like Chancellor Merkel realizes it's wrong to exclude Africans and Asians, then why can't Trump realize it's wrong to exclude Mexicans?" "It's not as if we don't have room for immigrants in America," Albright observed. "Homes in America are much bigger than they were a generation ago. Almost every family has underutilized space—a spare bedroom, a...
  • #FLOTUSFriday – We Do Patriotism Right

    07/06/2018 5:08:28 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 13 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-6-18 | MOTUS
    #FLOTUSFriday, and this week’s sighting was exceptional: red, white and blue, worn right.Or, as InStyle put it: “First Lady Melania Trump opted for a Fourth of July outfit that was dripping in patriotic symbolism.” [annotation mine] While attending a picnic for military families at the White House, Melania stepped out in a blue and white gingham floor-length dress which she cinched at the waist with a bold, fire-engine red bow belt. The high-slit, which was only visible when the First Lady descended the stairs, gave us a peek at color-coordinated cherry pumps. The look—by Melania's favorite American designer, Ralph Lauren—is...
  • Democrats Have Fully Embraced Fascist Socialism

    07/06/2018 4:57:25 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 26 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Maxine Waters gets her way in Flyover Country.: Some guy in San Antonio named Kino Jiminez is looking for work today. He lost his job at a bar called Rumble after he was filmed assaulting a teenager at a local Whataburger (good choice!) for having the temerity to wear a “Make America Great Again” cap. In addition to stealing the kid’s cap and verbally abusing him, Mr. Jiminez also threatened him physically and threw a soft drink in his face. Being a liberal idiot, he was no doubt shocked that he ended...
  • Let’s Make Congress the (Only) Legislative Branch Again

    07/05/2018 5:13:57 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 19 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-5-18 | MOTUS
    Lost in the 4th of July holiday festivities was this announcement, released July 3rd: Attorney General Jeff Sessions today announced that, consistent with his November 2017 memorandum prohibiting the Department from making rules without following the procedures required by Congress, he is rescinding 24 guidance documents that were unnecessary, outdated, inconsistent with existing law, or otherwise improper. “The American people deserve to have their voices heard and a government that is accountable to them. When issuing regulations, federal agencies must abide by constitutional principles and follow the rules set forth by Congress and the President. In previous administrations, however, agencies...
  • Here’s How the Left Demeaned Independence Day

    07/05/2018 4:54:19 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 4 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Liberals just keep coming out of the anti-America closet, Part 6,582.: Some guy named Dylan Matthews, writing at the far-leftwing Vox.com fake news site, ran a piece on July 4 titled “3 Reasons the American Revolution was a Mistake.” The piece includes the usual complaints about America’s horrible treatment of native Americans, which are mostly true, but then moves to unsupported claims that slavery would have somehow ended sooner without the Revolution and – hilariously – that the British parliamentary form of government is somehow far superior to the American Republic. Obviously,...
  • God Bless America!

    07/04/2018 4:52:44 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 19 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) The Campaign Update wishes you all a very happy Independence Day! Tired of all this Winning yet?: Wal-Mart was discovered to be hawking t-shirts with the slogan “Impeach 45” at its online marketing website, and incredibly bone-headed move by a retailer whose business is largely focused out here in Flyover Country. Enterprising folks on social media responded yesterday morning by calling for a boycott of the company. Within hours, management at Wal-Mart announced it was removing the social justice warrior gear from its digital shelves. #Winning. Yeah, this probably isn’t going to...
  • The Fourth of July, 2018

    07/04/2018 4:25:54 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 6 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 7-4-18 | MOTUS
    I’ve got a crowd coming to celebrate the 4th on the deck, if it doesn’t rain.  If it does we’ll move indoors for a kitchen picnic. Either way, I still have a lot to do so I hope you enjoy my “best of the 4th” post. Happy Birthday America!From 2010: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? These founding documents were designed and declared with full knowledge of human nature and complete understanding of the soul’s tendencies. The result was the formation of a more perfect union which has stood the test of time in no small part due to the wisdom of...
  • They Hunt!

    07/03/2018 2:35:29 PM PDT · by marktwain · 14 replies
    Gun Watch ^ | 29 June, 2017 | Dean Weingarten
    Young Hunter with Canadian Goose and 20 gauge 870 A few years ago, a relative of mine was visiting his sister in a Midwestern college town. The sister and her husband have done well. They have two lovely children and are in the upper middle class. The husband is an entrepreneur and a developer. The sister and kids are athletic. My relative is an accomplished woodsman, hunter, and shooter. He is not above a play on words or a practical joke.  He shares an opinion with Thomas Jefferson. Ball games do not impress him. He followed Jefferson's advise on...