***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

Random Silliness anyone?

 

Fed Up With "Frozen," 2 Dads Perform Parody Song 

 

A good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?"

"Yep".

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep".

When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?"

"Yep".

Then the good Samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?"

"Yep".

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep".

So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs. Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, protect me from this man. He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"

 

 

Danny's doorbell was ringing and when he answered it, he found his pretty neighbour Sally, pacing restlessly at his door. Sally, who had recently got a divorce, said to him, "Dan, I am feeling so lonely, I can't take it anymore.
I want to let my hair down, get drunk & want to have a good time. What are you doing tonight?"

Danny replied quickly, "I am free!"

"Wonderful." Sally said. "Can you take care of my kids?"

 

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.

''I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..'

'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.

''I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal'

 

[BenLurkin]

[BenLurkin]

[BenLurkin]

[BenLurkin]

[BenLurkin]

[BenLurkin]

Next season...on "The View"...

[Yorlik803]

lol

[Disambiguator]

Is that John Belushi in that costume?

[IYAS9YAS]

No! No! No! No! No! No!

You've mixed Star Wars with Star Trek. We're all doomed!!!!!!!

[Monkey Face]

Yes. Yes, it is.

[musicman]

[Disambiguator]

[martin_fierro]

[relentlessly]

[Lucky9teen]

Senior trying to set a password

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiledcabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiledcabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use

[dragonblustar]

School drops Cougars as team name because it might offend women

http://blog.syracuse.com/sports/2012/01/utah_high_school_cougars_offensive_team_name.html

[dragonblustar]

.

[Lucky9teen]

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”

The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the girl you were with?”

“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Nina Capelli?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Cathy Piriano?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”

“Please, Father! I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

“Four months vacation and five good leads...”

[dragonblustar]

.

[Lucky9teen]

An oldie but a goodie