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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 04/24/2015 5:51:54 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Listen up all you Young Whipper Snappers ~

You all know, I have been a retired for a long time. I've become very bored so decided to open a medical clinic. I put a sign up outside that said: "Old Dr. Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."

My neighbor, a 'young' doctor, was positive that this 'old geezer' didn't know beans about medicine, and thought it would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.  So he visited my clinic ... 'Old Dr. Geezer's Clinic'. This is what transpired:
He told me, "Old Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth." can you please help me ??

I called to my nurse, "will you please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."

Apparently he didn't, like it because he said, "Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"

I told the young doctor, "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

I guess he was annoyed because he came back after a couple of days, probably figuring he could recover his money.

He told me, "Dr. Geezer, I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Again, I called to my nurse, "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the doctor's mouth."

He reacted by saying , "Oh no you don't -- that is Gasoline!

I responded, "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

After now having lost $1000 he left angrily, but I was surprised because he returned for treatment after several more days.

This time he said, "My eyesight has become weak .... I can hardly see !!!!"

I felt a little guilty that I had taken too much money from this young doctor, so I said, "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, " Here's your $1000 back."

He glanced at it and said, "But this is only $500..."

"Congratulations! You got your vision back !!! That will be $500."

I've taken my sign down and closed the clinic, but remember the Moral of my story:

Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart this Wise Old Geezer" !!!!





Sorry for the short beginning today...I'm just super busy at work and didn't have the time to go into full on silliness. So, I leave it to you...



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen

https://coffeeandgeeks.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/poster-starwars-brain-storm-artstation-roberto-robert-darth-vader-stormtroopers.jpg


21 posted on 04/24/2015 6:08:44 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen



22 posted on 04/24/2015 6:10:47 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

There is so much going on with the ClintonS money scandals that we need to have popcorn on auto-refill via Amazon.

The ClintonS and Haiti coming up at 9:00 a.m. (CT) on FoxNews with Bill Hemmer & Martha McCallum.


23 posted on 04/24/2015 6:10:58 AM PDT by TomGuy
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To: left that other site
Mmm....hmmm....
24 posted on 04/24/2015 6:12:30 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: Lucky9teen


25 posted on 04/24/2015 6:13:23 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

26 posted on 04/24/2015 6:13:47 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Lucky9teen

27 posted on 04/24/2015 6:14:19 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

28 posted on 04/24/2015 6:14:48 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lucky9teen

29 posted on 04/24/2015 6:15:07 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Lucky9teen

EXERCISE FOR SENIOR CITIZENS

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags . Then try 50-lb potato bagsand eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
(I’m at this level !).

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag......

.................................................

My Mommy The Dancer..., a real tear jerker

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their mothers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up — teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his mother, he replied, “Well my mother’s an exotic dancer in a cabaret and takes off all her clothes in front of men and they put money in her under-
wear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Johnny aside to ask him, “Is that really true about your mother?”

No,” the boy said, “She works for the democratic National Committee and is campaigning for Hillary Clinton , but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.”


30 posted on 04/24/2015 6:15:09 AM PDT by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: Lucky9teen
A gift for that special person in your life ...

31 posted on 04/24/2015 6:15:22 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

She has outdone Zero!

mmmm mmmm mmmm


32 posted on 04/24/2015 6:15:48 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
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To: ShadowAce

33 posted on 04/24/2015 6:16:35 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: BenLurkin

34 posted on 04/24/2015 6:18:05 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: ErnBatavia

bttt


35 posted on 04/24/2015 6:21:31 AM PDT by petercooper (And I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound bus... Rollin' down Highway 41.)
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To: BenLurkin

36 posted on 04/24/2015 6:26:41 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen


37 posted on 04/24/2015 6:40:09 AM PDT by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: TexasCajun

38 posted on 04/24/2015 6:40:47 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Lucky9teen

39 posted on 04/24/2015 6:42:39 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Lucky9teen
A little late today.... TOP FIFTY! will have to do!

Silliness to Everyone and Have a Great Weekend!!!!

40 posted on 04/24/2015 6:43:31 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Let us now try liberty)
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