Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 09/25/2015 6:14:59 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

is it me, or did anyone listening to the Pope speak, expect him to say "It's a-me, Mario!"?



******

"Pope Francis was named Time magazine's person of the year, and today he performed his first miracle – he got people to buy Time magazine." –Conan O'Brien

******

"Pope Francis revealed that he used to work as a nightclub bouncer. In the same interview he announced that on Tuesday night ladies get into heaven for free." ––Conan O'Brien

******

"According to new statistics, Pope Francis is the most talked about person on the Internet. And not only that, he has the most viewed profile on Christian Mingle." –Conan O'Brien

******

"Do you know who's going to the Vatican for a meeting with Pope Francis? Evil dictator Vladimir Putin. The Pope better be careful because I bet you anything Putin is going to try and steal his ring." –David Letterman

******

"Russian President Vladimir Putin will travel to the Vatican this month to hold talks with Pope Francis. The Pope even offered to hear Putin's confession — or as Putin calls it, 'bragging.'" –Jimmy Fallon

******

"Pope Francis suspended a bishop for spending too much on home renovations. The Pope caught the bishop filming an episode of 'Flip This Church.'" –Conan O'Brien

******

"Today Pope Francis said that if you are an atheist, God will forgive you. And with that, 2,000 years of Christianity came to an end, ladies and gentlemen." –Conan O'Brien

******

"How crazy is it that the Pope has a car? Imagine driving through Rome and a Renault cuts in front of you. You flip the guy off, and it's the Pope!" –Jimmy Kimmel

******

"The Pope recently purchased a 30-year-old car. He's driving around Rome in a 30-year-old car. Can you imagine keeping a 30-year-old car on the road today? There's your miracle, you know what I'm saying?" –David Letterman

******

"Pope Francis said it is a sin for people to waste food. He made that proclamation and then he made Chris Christie a saint." –Conan O'Brien

******

"Pope Francis made an extremely controversial statement. He says he believes anyone can go to heaven if you do good deeds, even atheists. Some Catholics were upset by his comments because it means we wasted a lot of Sundays going to church." –Jimmy Kimmel

******

Pope Francis has landed in the United States for a historic five-day visit to D.C., New York City, and Philadelphia. Whether you're Catholic, Protestant, Jewish or Hindu, you have to be in awe of the amount of traffic this is going to create. ~ James Corden

******

If you wanted to see the Pope during his visit, best of luck to you. He's appearing in Central Park on Friday, but tickets ran out so quickly that they're now being scalped for upwards of $1,500 apiece. That is a lot to pay for someone who can't sing or play guitar. ~ James Corden

******

It's ironic people are scalping tickets for so much when the Pope has been saying that Americans worship money, and that capitalism is destroying our souls. ~ James Corden

******

Twitter has created a bunch of special hashtags to honor the Pope, proving once and for all that Twitter doesn't really know the meaning of the word "honor." ~ James Corden

******

Twitter created #Popeinus. #Popeindc. #Popeinnyc, and #Popeinphilly. But just in case the Pope decides to extend his trip, we've created a few hashtags of our own. If he should choose to come visit us here, we have got #Popeinla, #Popeinorlando, #Popeinseattle — where he ordered a pope-kin spice latte! ~ James Corden

******

Pope Francis is here. He got in yesterday. He didn't do anything last night, they want him to rest for his hectic schedule the next few days. He did get some rest — much of it during his welcoming ceremony on the south lawn of the White House. That's one thing about being Pope — nobody knows when you're sleeping or when you're praying.~ Jimmy Kimmel

******

The Pope addressed about 11,000 people at the welcoming event. He spoke about climate change. He said it's a problem that "can no longer be left to a future generation." Global warming is a very important issue for the Pope because as you know he has to wear a floor-length, long-sleeved gown to work every day and it's hot. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

******  

Pope Francis arrived in Washington, D.C., today. I saw that President Obama actually picked him up at the airport. When asked how the Pope will get back to the airport, Obama was like, "Uber? I don't know. It's not my problem." ~ Jimmy Fallon

******

That's right, President Obama picked up Pope Francis at the airport. Because what better way to alleviate the traffic the Pope is about to cause than sending out a presidential motorcade? ~ Jimmy Fallon

******

The trip to Washington, D.C., has actually been very educational for the Pope. You know, because he's only ever read about purgatory. ~ Jimmy Fallon

******

I saw that top congressional leaders sent a statement to the House and Senate with guidelines for Pope Francis' visit, including a request to not shake his hand. Apparently, they're worried that if politicians touch the Pope they'll burst into flames. ~ Jimmy Fallon

******

In addition to the “no shaking hands,” Congress was given a lot of rules about the Pope's visit. First, there’s "Don't fake-sneeze just to get an easy blessing out of the Pope." ~ Jimmy Fallon

******

Pope Francis' plane touched down in Washington at 4 p.m. I knew the moment he was here because I felt a disturbance in the guilt. What is that? Catholic, you are. That's what Yoda says. ~ Conan

******

 

 

 

 

 

 



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: clock; ofst; pope; silliness; tc
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-66 next last
To: onona

Very well. I will sacrifice for you!


21 posted on 09/25/2015 7:07:53 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Let us now try liberty)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

OK...too late to be in the Top Anything...

But Good Morning Everybody!

:-)


22 posted on 09/25/2015 7:14:51 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

IT'S FRIDAY!!1!

23 posted on 09/25/2015 7:16:00 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Rummyfan

You mean...the muzzies didn’t have it cancelled?

Ein Prosit!

have one for me, will ya?


24 posted on 09/25/2015 7:20:40 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
"I pray John will seek the treatment he needs!"


25 posted on 09/25/2015 7:28:50 AM PDT by TexasCajun (#BlackViolenceMatters)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: left that other site

Curious to see if there will be any muzzie protestors....


26 posted on 09/25/2015 7:28:57 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Let us now try liberty)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: onona

Two?

27 posted on 09/25/2015 7:36:28 AM PDT by FroggyTheGremlim (Hunga Tonga-Hunga.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: Rummyfan

Take lots of pictures, FRiend! :-)


28 posted on 09/25/2015 7:39:28 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: Rummyfan
If there are, it's possible they'll have the schiess beaten out of them by the polizei. I envy you, sir. Been to Oktoberfest 3 times, all when I served back in the 80's. Have fun!
29 posted on 09/25/2015 7:41:23 AM PDT by hoagy62 (Only one solution left.....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: eCSMaster
 photo wcc0923051.jpg

These two :)

30 posted on 09/25/2015 7:47:32 AM PDT by onona (something pithy this way comes)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: eCSMaster

TWO?

First thing I thought of. :-)

31 posted on 09/25/2015 7:49:23 AM PDT by Oatka (This is America. Assimilate or evaporate. [URL=http://media.photobucket.com/user/currencyjunkie/me)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: left that other site

32 posted on 09/25/2015 7:59:24 AM PDT by PROCON
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen


33 posted on 09/25/2015 8:06:19 AM PDT by relentlessly
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen


34 posted on 09/25/2015 8:18:58 AM PDT by relentlessly
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: relentlessly

Stealing that........


35 posted on 09/25/2015 8:46:26 AM PDT by Envisioning (4.13.15 - That awkward moment in history when 53 million racists became sexists...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: eCSMaster
Don't you just hate when hot brass goes down your drindl?
36 posted on 09/25/2015 8:51:13 AM PDT by fireforeffect (A kind word and a 2x4, gets you more than just a kind word.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Rummyfan

One beer for ALL Freepers? Or a beer each for every FReeper?

Inquiring minds want to know!


37 posted on 09/25/2015 9:10:01 AM PDT by Monkey Face (The service that counts the most is usually recognized by God alone.-- Michael T Ringwood)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: TexasCajun

Since he is resigning... looking back at that picture... that is a man that has a heavy conscience. He is ashamed.

Scandal to surface in 3...2...


38 posted on 09/25/2015 9:25:47 AM PDT by envisio (I ain't here long... I'm out of napalm and .22 bullets.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: PROCON

America has finally caught and domesticated a Bigfoot!


39 posted on 09/25/2015 9:27:27 AM PDT by envisio (I ain't here long... I'm out of napalm and .22 bullets.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

IN!!! (Finally)


40 posted on 09/25/2015 9:29:57 AM PDT by TADSLOS (A Ted Cruz Happy Warrior! GO TED!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-66 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson