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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 02/19/2016 4:48:55 AM PST by Lucky9teen


An election is coming.  Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry.  ~George Eliot, Felix Holt, Chapter 5

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The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face.  ~Clare Boothe Luce

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If the World Series runs until election day, the networks will run the first one-half inning and project the winner.  ~Lindsey Nelson

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I offer my opponents a bargain:  if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.  ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952

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A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation.  ~James Freeman Clarke, Sermon
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A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.  ~Bill Vaughan

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It's not the voting that's democracy; it's the counting.  ~Tom Stoppard, Jumpers

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Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently and all for the same reason.  ~José Maria de Eça de Queiroz, translated from Portuguese

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Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.  ~W.C. Fields

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Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.  ~George Jean Nathan

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How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?  ~Author Unknown

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There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.  ~Author Unknown

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Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?  ~Robert Orben

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Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.  ~Author Unknown

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Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.  ~Robert Byrne

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Our political institutions work remarkably well.  They are designed to clang against each other.  The noise is democracy at work.  ~Michael Novak

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A politician should have three hats.  One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.  ~Carl Sandburg

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I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work.  Of course it doesn't work.  We are supposed to work it.  ~Alexander Woollcott

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I like the smell of a dunged field, and the tumult of a popular election.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

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People often say that, in a democracy, decisions are made by a majority of the people.  Of course, that is not true.  Decisions are made by a majority of those who make themselves heard and who vote - a very different thing.  ~Walter H. Judd

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If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.  ~Will Rogers

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Our presidential race is beginning to sound more and more like Harry Potter's duel with the Ministry of Magic.  ~Dave Beard

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If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.  ~Jay Leno

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The problem with political jokes is they get elected.  ~Henry Cate, VII

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The most important political office is that of the private citizen.  ~Louis Brandeis

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.  ~Richard Armour

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Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.  ~Oscar Ameringer

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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?  ~Author Unknown

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Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.  ~Gore Vidal

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When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.  ~Clarence Darrow

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Truth is not determined by majority vote.  ~Doug Gwyn

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George Washington is the only president who didn't blame the previous administration for his troubles.  ~Author Unknown

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Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians.  ~Charles Krauthammer

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Mankind will never see an end of trouble until... lovers of wisdom come to hold political power, or the holders of power... become lovers of wisdom.  ~Plato, The Republic

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Don't vote, it only encourages them. ~Billy Connolly, An Audience with Billy Connolly, 1985

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Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.  ~H.L. Mencken, 1956

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Take our politicians:  they're a bunch of yo-yos.  The presidency is now a cross between a popularity contest and a high school debate, with an encyclopedia of cliches the first prize.  ~Saul Bellow

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In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.  ~Charles de Gaulle

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We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in.  ~Will Rogers

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Applause, mingled with boos and hisses, is about all that the average voter is able or willing to contribute to public life.  ~Elmer Davis

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The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high office like breakfast cereal - that you can gather votes like box tops - is... the ultimate indignity to the democratic process.  ~Adlai Stevenson, speech, Democratic National Convention, 18 August 1956

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There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle.  ~Alexis de Tocqueville

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We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.  ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

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We have, I fear, confused power with greatness.  ~Stewart Udall

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Political campaigns are designedly made into emotional orgies which endeavor to distract attention from the real issues involved, and they actually paralyze what slight powers of cerebration man can normally muster.  ~James Harvey Robinson, The Human Comedy, 1937

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When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale.  ~John Gardner

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During a campaign the air is full of speeches - and vice versa.  ~Author Unknown

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If a politician murders his mother, the first response of the press or of his opponents will likely be not that it was a terrible thing to do, but rather that in a statement made six years before he had gone on record as being opposed to matricide.  ~Meg Greenfield

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American youth attributes much more importance to arriving at driver's-license age than at voting age.  ~Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man, 1964

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If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.  ~Emma Goldman

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A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.  ~Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley's Philosophy, 1900

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The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.  ~Winston Churchill

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Democracy gives every man the right to be his own oppressor.  ~James Russell Lowell

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Democracy:  The state of affairs in which you consent to having your pocket picked, and elect the best man to do it.  ~Benjamin Lichtenberg

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The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them.  ~Karl Marx

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Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft.  Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.  ~Will Rogers

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Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?  ~Will Rogers



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: elections; ofst; politicians; silliness
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Today's Challenge: Political Limerick

The election season is draining
So many candidates campaigning
So many polls
To see who controls
It's no wonder it's all so draining.
1 posted on 02/19/2016 4:48:55 AM PST by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen
Those who get Friday Silliness only are NOT Christian.

Top 5

2 posted on 02/19/2016 4:52:41 AM PST by FroggyTheGremlim (Hunga Tonga-Hunga.)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 6amgelsmama; 88keys; ...

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

ARF ARF ARF


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
 

3 posted on 02/19/2016 4:54:24 AM PST by Lucky9teen (God's blessing has been on America from the very beginning, and I believe God isn't done yet. TCruz)
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To: Lucky9teen

In.


4 posted on 02/19/2016 4:54:50 AM PST by real saxophonist
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To: Lucky9teen

In before Hillary tells the truth about anything.....


5 posted on 02/19/2016 4:56:30 AM PST by exit82 ("The Taliban is on the inside of the building" E. Nordstrom 10-10-12)
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To: Lucky9teen
In the top ?? somewhere, whatever...



The Democrat Party today announced that it is changing its symbol from the Donkey to a Condom because it more accurately reflects the Party's political stance. A condom:
* allows for inflation
* halts production
* destroys the next generation
* protects a bunch of dicks
* and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed! Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate.

The Best Blonde Joke Ever?


Speaking of blonde jokes...


Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a bar. Donald leans over, and with a smile on his face, says, "The media are really tearing you apart for that scandal."

Hillary: "You mean my lying about Benghazi?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "You mean the massive voter fraud?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "Using my secret private server with classified material to hide my activities?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything else?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "Using the Clinton Foundation as a cover for tax evasion, hiring cronies, and taking bribes from foreign countries?
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "Giving 123 Technologies $300,000,000, and right afterward it declared bankruptcy it was sold to the Chinese?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "You mean arming the Muslim Brotherhood and hiring them in the White House?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "Whitewater, Watergate committee, Vince Foster, commodity deals?"
Trump: "No the other one."

Hillary: "The IRS targeting conservatives?"
Trump: "No the other one."

Hillary: "Turning Libya into chaos?"
Trump: "No the other one."

Hillary: "Trashing Mubarak, one of our few Muslim friends?"
Trump: "No the other one."

Hillary: "The DOJ spying on the press?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "You mean HHS Secretary Sibelius shaking down health insurance executives?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "The State Department interfering with an Inspector General investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "Me, the IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?"
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "Threats to all of Bill's former mistresses to keep them quiet."
Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "I give up! ... Oh wait, I think I've got it! When I stole the White House furniture, silverware and china as Bill left Office?"
Trump: "THAT'S IT! I almost forgot about that one"



6 posted on 02/19/2016 4:57:22 AM PST by upchuck (Killary is the poster girl for everything wrong with our government. h/t Mister Da)
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To: upchuck

If free markets are something you dread,
Our Constitution is over your head,
And American history
To you is a mystery,
On election day, please, stay in bed!


7 posted on 02/19/2016 4:59:00 AM PST by Lucky9teen (God's blessing has been on America from the very beginning, and I believe God isn't done yet. TCruz)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 10... yippee


8 posted on 02/19/2016 4:59:38 AM PST by WesG (Without geometry, life is pointless.....)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy Friday!


9 posted on 02/19/2016 4:59:58 AM PST by Travis T. OJustice (I miss my dad.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy Friday!


10 posted on 02/19/2016 4:59:59 AM PST by Travis T. OJustice (I miss my dad.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy Friday!


11 posted on 02/19/2016 4:59:59 AM PST by Travis T. OJustice (I miss my dad.)
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To: Lucky9teen

IN!! TOP 10!


12 posted on 02/19/2016 5:00:05 AM PST by Monkey Face (I am not heartless.I am smarter.My happiness does not depend on anyone else.Not any more.)
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To: Lucky9teen; Travis T. OJustice

Well, it woulda been the Top 10 if Travis’ computer hadn’t had the hiccups...


13 posted on 02/19/2016 5:02:39 AM PST by Monkey Face (I am not heartless.I am smarter.My happiness does not depend on anyone else.Not any more.)
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To: Monkey Face

:)

Happy Friday!


14 posted on 02/19/2016 5:05:40 AM PST by Travis T. OJustice (I miss my dad.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Good Morning!

:-)


15 posted on 02/19/2016 5:06:23 AM PST by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Sorry but a good lymerick doesn’t use the same rhyming
twice.
The election season is draining
So many candidates campaigning
So many polls
To see who controls
It’s no wonder it’s all so draining.

Try: It’s no wonder we’re also complaining!


16 posted on 02/19/2016 5:12:43 AM PST by mistfree (It's a very uncreative man who can't think of more than one way to spell a word.)
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To: Travis T. OJustice

The same to you, Travis T! :o]


17 posted on 02/19/2016 5:14:02 AM PST by Monkey Face (I am not heartless.I am smarter.My happiness does not depend on anyone else.Not any more.)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP 20!!!


18 posted on 02/19/2016 5:17:58 AM PST by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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To: Lucky9teen
On election day, please, stay in bed!

I'll be up bright and early tomorrow to go vote. Polling locations are open 7a-7p.

I'll proudly cast my vote for Trump.

19 posted on 02/19/2016 5:29:01 AM PST by upchuck (Killary is the poster girl for everything wrong with our government. h/t Mister Da)
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To: Lucky9teen

Good morning!


20 posted on 02/19/2016 5:35:31 AM PST by ErnBatavia (It ain't a "hashtag"....it's a damn pound sign. ###)
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