I DEDICATE THIS THREAD TODAY,
TO EVERYONE POSTING THEIR FAVORITE MEME
The Media and The Left
Posted on 02/17/2017 5:05:44 AM PST by Lucky9teen
TOP 5??? OMG!! TGIF!!
Top 5
Top O’ The Morning!
Top 10 ????
IN!!
Top twenny w00t
Warning!!
Before reading this Friday Silliness post.
Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are falling' victim to temptation."
Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be quite ill."
NOT a photoshop.
* Oh, yes, Friday Silliness most definitely has a scientific research department. It runs on beer, mostly.
I said "Don't worry, it's all under control. It's been very busy and I haven't stopped to take a break all day."
"Can you do me a favor" he asked.
I said "Of course, What is it?"
"Pick up the pace a little. I'm in the foursome behind you."
I ran into this homeless man and asked how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, a TV, the Internet, and I went to the gym, pool and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills, no debt and even had full medical coverage."
I felt sorry for him and asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"
"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no….
"Obama pardoned me!"
h/t Bill
Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Named Jethro.
Very gentle to family members but owner cannot afford to
feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers,
thieves, murderers, pimps or molesters left in the
neighborhood for him to eat.
Most of them knew Jethro only by his Oriental street name,
Ho Lee Schitt. 
And, yes, that picture is photoshopped. The dog is a Bull Mastiff which rarely exceeds 130 pounds.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: "Sue..........Sue"
"Is that you, Bill?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! I'm so glad! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again."
"Oh, Bill, are you in Heaven?"
"No, I'm a rabbit in Pebble Beach!"
When the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, the GM of Budweiser said without hesitation, "I'll have a premium Bud."
The head of Coors said, "Make mine a Silver Bullet."
To which the boss of Heineken rejoined, "I'll have a Heineken, the King of Beers, and the cleanest draught on the planet."
The General Manager of XXXX (Australia) paused a moment and then placed his order, "I'll have a Diet Coke."
The others looked at him as if he had sprouted a new head.
"Well", he said with a shrug, "if you wankers aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."
A duck walks into a bar.
"Got any grapes?" he asks the bartender.
"Nope."
So the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck comes back.
"Got any grapes?" he asks.
"Nope," says the bartender.
The next day....the duck comes back again.
"Got any grapes?"
"Look, duck," says the bartender, "I didn't have any grapes yesterday, I don't have any today, and I'm not going to have any tomorrow. And if you come back here asking for grapes again, I'm gonna nail your feet to the bar."
The duck leaves....
The next day, the duck comes back.
He walks up to the bartender.
"Got any nails?"
"Nope."
"Got any grapes?"
A police officer pulls him over and tells him that he is speeding and then asks him where does he think he's going with all those ducks.
The driver says that he just doesn't know what to do anymore. He tells the policeman that the ducks are driving him crazy.
The officer says, "Why don't you take them to the zoo? The zoo's a great place for ducks!"
The man is very happy about the zoo idea. He thanks the officer and drives off.
The next day the officer sees the pick-up truck, once again, speeding down the road.
The only difference is that this time all the ducks are wearing sunglasses.
The officer pulls over the driver over and says, "I thought I told you to take those ducks to the zoo!"
"I did!," said the driver, "Today they want to go to the beach!"
Everyone wants me to clam-up, so I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel...
Why did the duck cross the road?
To visit his dopey friend.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quack!
MOVING TO DETROIT
Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Detroit, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.
“What’s the matter?” Bob asked.
“I’ve been transferred to Detroit - I’ve heard the people are crazy there. They’ve got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation.”
Bob replied, “I’ve lived in Detroit all my life. It’s not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. It’s as safe a place as anywhere in the world.”
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, “Oh, thank you. I’ve been worried to death. But if you live there and say it’s OK, I’ll take your word for it.
What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck.”
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